Plenty of men go through life feeling stuck, uninspired, and disconnected from a sense of purpose at some point in life.
While everyone has moments of doubt or apathy, a persistent feeling of emptiness may mean that something deeper is going on. Here are 17 behaviours often observed in men who are struggling to find fulfilment – these are signs it might be time for a change.
They’ve watched pretty much everything on Netflix.
Night after night, they seek solace in the endless scroll of streaming services. It’s not the shows themselves that really pull them in them, but rather the mindless distraction they provide, as The Guardian explains. The hum of the TV offers a temporary escape, a numbing agent to mask the underlying feeling of hollowness they struggle to define.
They have big plans for the weekend, but never follow through on any of them.
They spend the work week dreaming about epic outdoor adventures, challenging hikes, or immersive new hobbies. Yet when the weekend arrives, a persistent inertia takes hold. Exhaustion from the week, fear of the unknown, or simply the siren call of the couch derails their plans time and again.
They spend a lot of time comparing themselves to the people they see on social media.
They’re bombarded with seemingly perfect snapshots of other people’s lives – carefully curated vacations, impressive physical transformations, and effortless career success. This constant comparison fuels a gnawing sense of inadequacy, making them feel as though they’re constantly falling short in their own lives, despite being keenly aware that everyone’s highlight reel hides a multitude of unseen struggles.
They start a lot of projects, but don’t really finish any.
Their spaces are littered with the remnants of abandoned passions. A dusty guitar, a half-built workbench, a collection of art supplies gathering dust… These men start with bursts of enthusiasm, but struggle to maintain the discipline and focus needed to follow through. While initial excitement is wonderful, true fulfilment comes from commitment and seeing projects through to completion.
They’re chronic critics and always find fault with the world around them.
Every news item, every minor inconvenience, and every perceived slight becomes a source of irritation and negativity. This relentless focus on the negative creates a self-perpetuating cycle, making it difficult to find joy in any aspect of their lives and sucking the energy out of those around them.
Their fear of failure keeps them paralysed.
Opportunities arise, but they’re plagued by endless “what-ifs” and a crippling fear of making the wrong choice. This intense fear of failure keeps them stuck, unable to move forward and embrace the potential for growth and fulfilment, even if it means encountering setbacks along the way.
They prioritize other people’s needs to the detriment of their own.
They bend over backward to please those around them, sacrificing their own ambitions, desires, and boundaries in the process. This relentless people-pleasing behaviour stems from a deep-seated need for approval, but ultimately leaves them feeling depleted and resentful.
They never, ever step outside their comfort zone.
Stagnation feels safe, while taking risks, exposing themselves to vulnerability, or embracing change feels inherently threatening, Psychology Today explains. Yet, the magic of personal growth and transformation happens when they dare to step into unfamiliar territory, even with a fluttering heart and a touch of fear.
They’re full of regrets over all the things they could or should have done.
They’re fixated on past decisions, wishing they had taken a different path or handled a situation differently. This constant loop of regret leaves them trapped in a cycle of self-recrimination, unable to move forward and build a future they can take pride in.
They talk a big game about their goals, but struggle to take meaningful action.
They’re full of grand plans and ambitious ideas, sharing their dreams with anyone who will listen. However, these inspiring words are rarely followed by concrete action. They lack the discipline to break down their goals into achievable steps and consistently chip away at the process that leads to genuine fulfilment.
They don’t take responsibility for any of their own choices.
When things don’t go their way, they’re quick to point the finger at external circumstances, bad luck, or the actions of others. This habit of deflecting responsibility keeps them powerless, unable to recognize their own agency in shaping their lives and creating a more positive reality.
They’re addicted to the news cycle nightmare and spend a lot of time doomscrolling.
They find themselves glued to their phones or the television, consuming a relentless stream of news stories focused on conflict, disaster, and societal discord. While staying informed is important, over-consumption of negativity can create a constant state of anxiety and a skewed perception that the world is a fundamentally dangerous, hopeless place.
They don’t take very good care of themselves physically, mentally, or emotionally.
They know the importance of eating well, exercising regularly, and getting sufficient sleep, but promises to start tomorrow rarely materialize. This neglect of their physical well-being stems from a disconnect with their bodies and a failure to recognize how deeply mental and physical health are intertwined.
They think happiness will just fall into their laps naturally.
They see fulfilment as a destination or reward to be earned without effort. They feel entitled to success, satisfaction, and joy without putting in the hard work required to cultivate those states from within.
They look for validation via material possessions.
Source: Unsplash They’re caught in a cycle of competitive consumerism, focused on acquiring the latest gadgets, the biggest house, or the fanciest car in a misguided attempt to fill an internal void. This obsessive comparison to others leaves them perpetually unsatisfied and blind to the non-material sources of genuine happiness.
They demand instant gratification and are frustrated by any process that takes time.
Source: Unsplash They crave immediate results and rewards because they struggle to find satisfaction in the slow, steady journey of self-improvement. As Psychology Today explains, they may start ambitious projects with enthusiasm, only to lose interest when faced with challenges or a lack of instant success. This impatience hinders their ability to embrace the value of delayed gratification and the deep sense of fulfilment that comes from seeing long-term goals through to completion.
