Nasty And Hateful People Will Often Display These 14 Behaviours

A lot of toxic behaviour is easy to spot because it stands out as being so rude and inappropriate.

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However, there are subtler actions that might seem a bit iffy but not necessarily outwardly terrible… at least not on the surface. The more you notice these little things piling up, though, the more you start to realise you’re dealing with a nasty piece of work. Here are some of the red flags to watch out for — and if you notice them, to avoid at all costs.

1. They find joy in spreading bad news about other people.

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These people light up at the chance to share someone else’s misfortune or mistakes. Rather than showing empathy, they relish being the bearer of bad news. Breaking free from their influence starts with refusing to engage in gossip – try changing the subject or highlighting something positive about the person being discussed.

2. They turn every conversation back to themselves.

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Masters of conversational hijacking, they redirect any topic to focus on their experiences, problems, or achievements. While it’s natural to relate to people through shared experiences, they consistently overshadow everyone’s moments. Setting boundaries involves gently but firmly returning conversations to their original focus.

3. They keep score of every favour they do.

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Rather than helping from genuine kindness, they maintain a mental ledger of every good deed. These favours become ammunition for future guilt trips or demands. The best response is keeping interactions straightforward – either politely decline their help or immediately return favours to avoid creating a sense of obligation.

4. They find fault in every positive situation.

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Even in moments of celebration or success, they’ll point out potential problems or shortcomings. This constant negativity stems from their own dissatisfaction with life. Protection comes from maintaining emotional distance – acknowledge their comment briefly and continue focusing on the positive aspects they’re trying to diminish.

5. They use information as a form of currency.

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Collecting and strategically sharing secrets or personal details gives them a sense of power. They often present themselves as confidants, only to weaponise information later. Building resilience means being selective about what you share and assuming anything told to them might become public knowledge.

6. They create drama, then play the victim.

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These individuals stir up conflicts while maintaining their innocence, often claiming they’re just trying to help or were misunderstood. Recognising this pattern helps in staying neutral – avoid taking sides and maintain minimal involvement in their manufactured crises.

7. They never apologise sincerely.

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When confronted with their behaviour, they offer non-apologies like “I’m sorry you feel that way” or immediately justify their actions. This reveals their lack of genuine remorse or empathy. The best approach is accepting they won’t take responsibility and adjusting expectations accordingly.

8. They love giving unwanted advice.

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Masquerading as helpfulness, they offer critical “suggestions” about personal choices, appearance, or life decisions. Their advice often undermines confidence rather than supports growth. Setting boundaries starts with a simple “Thank you, but I’m comfortable with my decision” and changing the subject.

9. They remember every mistake people make.

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Past errors or embarrassing moments become their favourite references, brought up at strategic moments to maintain control. While they demand forgiveness for their actions, they never truly let go of other people’s missteps. Protection comes from limiting what they know about your life and not engaging when they bring up past events.

10. They test relationships with small betrayals.

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Starting with minor boundary violations, they gradually push limits to see what they can get away with. These small betrayals often escalate over time. Maintaining firm boundaries from the start prevents this pattern from developing – address even minor violations promptly and clearly.

11. They criticise through compliments.

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Masters of the backhanded compliment, they wrap criticism in superficial praise: “You’re brave to wear that” or “You’re doing well, considering your limitations.” Recognising these verbal thorns helps in responding neutrally – a simple “thanks” without elaboration often works best.

12. They share people’s successes with hidden daggers.

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When discussing someone’s achievements, they add subtle digs: mentioning luck rather than effort, or highlighting past failures alongside current success. Maintaining perspective means celebrating people’s wins privately and sharing good news selectively with more supportive people.

13. They rush people’s healing processes.

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Whether it’s grief, personal growth, or recovery, they pressure people to “get over it” on their timeline. That rushing often masks their discomfort with people’s emotional needs. Setting healthy boundaries involves owning your healing journey and reminding yourself that personal growth has no deadline.

14. They make everyone else feel responsible for their emotions.

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Using emotional manipulation, they blame other people for their feelings and reactions. Their mood swings become everyone else’s emergency to manage. Breaking free means recognising that while we can be compassionate, we’re not responsible for managing another adult’s emotional state.

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