If you want people to take you seriously, you need to give yourself some pretty tough love about your word choices. There are certain things you might be saying that instantly undermine your authority and make you seem unsure of yourself. If you don’t want that to happen, avoid these phrases so you project confidence and command respect instead.
1. “I just think…”
Source: Unsplash Starting your sentences this way minimizes your ideas before you’ve even fully expressed them! Instead of hedging, lead with your point: “Based on my analysis…” or “One important aspect to consider is…” It conveys conviction and invites others to seriously engage with your perspective.
2. “This might be a dumb question, but…”
Source: Unsplash Don’t apologize for seeking clarity! There are rarely any dumb questions, just poorly phrased ones. Swap it for, “For my understanding, could you elaborate on…” or “I want to make sure I’m on the same page about…” This shows you’re engaged and want to avoid misunderstandings, not that you doubt your intelligence.
3. “Actually…” (especially when interrupting someone)
Source: Unsplash Unless someone’s stating factually incorrect information, jump-starting your rebuttal this way is dismissive. Let them finish their thought. Then, rephrase as “Building off your point…” or “I have a different perspective about…” This acknowledges their contribution while signalling that you have something valuable to add to the discussion.
4. “Sorry, but…” or “Sorry to bother you…”
Source: Unsplash Over-saying sorry diminishes you, especially in professional contexts. If you need to ask a question, make a request, or disagree, it’s okay! Ditch the unnecessary apology and state directly what you need. Asking for what you need confidently is a sign of self-worth, not an inconvenience.
5. “I don’t know.” (without adding anything further)
Source: Unsplash Dead-ending the conversation sends the message that you didn’t prepare or care enough to think about it. Instead of a verbal shrug, try, “I don’t have that information at hand, but I’m happy to look into it and get back to you by…” This shows a willingness to problem-solve, not just an admission of ignorance.
6. Hedging phrases like “kind of,” “sort of,” “I guess,” “I mean.”
Source: Unsplash Excessive qualifiers make you seem unsure of your own ideas! Be precise and deliberate in your word choice. It’s more powerful to remove these filler phrases entirely – the pause before you respond is far more impactful than waffling and undermining your own point.
7. Upspeak
Source: Unsplash This isn’t about the pitch of your voice, it’s a habit that signals uncertainty, often more common in women due to societal conditioning. Practice stating your points with a definitive downward inflection. You don’t need to be aggressive, but ending on a questioning tone makes even solid ideas seem tentative.
8. “Does that make sense?”
Source: Unsplash Tagging this on the end of your explanation implies you don’t trust your own ability to communicate clearly. Of course, if someone looks genuinely confused, rephrasing for clarity is fine, but don’t preemptively ask others to validate whether you explained yourself effectively! It invites unnecessary doubt.
9. “Like…” as every other word
Source: Unsplash It’s fine as a placeholder on rare occasions, but relying on “like” constantly makes you sound less articulate. Consciously practice slowing down your speech slightly and allowing pauses to gather your thoughts. Those moments of silence are far more powerful than littering your sentences with this filler word.
10. “To be honest…”
Source: Unsplash Why would your default be anything apart from honesty? Saying this implies you weren’t being forthright before, creating doubt in your listener’s mind about everything that came before you uttered this phrase. If anything, it makes whatever you say afterward seem LESS trustworthy.
11. Exaggerations that undermine your credibility
Source: Unsplash “I’ve been working on this forever,” “Literally everyone agrees,” “This is the WORST thing that’s ever happened”…hyperbole weakens your arguments and makes you seem emotionally driven rather than rational. Stick to the facts and convey them in a clear, measured way. Truthful impact needs no embellishment.
12. Self-deprecating humour that goes too far
Source: Unsplash A little humour is welcome; constantly tearing yourself down isn’t. Everyone has insecurities, but making them your default joke gets old. People don’t elevate those who don’t respect themselves. Strike a balance between acknowledging your flaws (we all have them!) with quiet confidence in your strengths.
13. Blaming language: “You made me feel…”
Source: Unsplash Own your emotions! It’s fine to say, “When ______ happened, I felt frustrated/disrespected/overlooked.” This focuses on the impact of the situation. Saying it was DONE to you absolves you of responsibility for your own emotional responses and leads to unproductive arguments rather than solutions.
14. Gossip about coworkers, other friends, etc
Source: Unsplash Even if it’s true, it erodes trust in YOU. Listeners will assume if you badmouth others behind their backs, you’ll do the same to them. It makes you seem petty and disloyal, not someone worthy of serious responsibility or confidence.
15. Making excuses instead of taking ownership of mistakes
Source: Unsplash Things go wrong. Own it! “I miscalculated,” or “I dropped the ball on that, here’s my plan to rectify it…” is MILES better than finger-pointing and justifications. Everyone respects someone who can admit fault and focus on fixing it. Excuses just breed mistrust.
16. Passive voice instead of active voice
Source: Unsplash “Mistakes were made” weasels out of accountability. Own your actions, good and bad! “I made a mistake, here’s what I learned…” is still direct and takes ownership, even when you screw up.
17. Trying to sound smarter by using words you don’t fully understand
Source: Unsplash Big, convoluted vocabulary ≠ intelligence. Clarity is king! Focus on explaining concepts in a way that anyone could grasp. The person who can make their ideas accessible to a wide audience is ultimately the most impressive.
18. Trying to be everything to everyone
Source: Unsplash People-pleasing will make you mush. It’s okay to disagree, have boundaries, and prioritize your own needs sometimes. Trying to be universally liked results in a watered-down version of yourself that no one truly respects. Be authentic, even if it risks the occasional ruffled feather.
