While most people prefer feeling empowered and in control of their lives, others are obsessed with playing the victim.
Nothing that goes wrong in their own life is ever their fault; instead, other people or outside circumstances are clearly conspiring against them to keep them from being happy and successful, right? Wrong. They just love playing the martyr, which is why you’ll hear these things come out of their mouths regularly. Try not to roll your eyes while reading!
1. “No one understands how hard my life is.”
This is basically the martyr’s catchphrase. They truly believe their struggles are unique and more challenging than anyone else’s. They’ll say this even when others are clearly going through tough times too.
2. “I do everything around here.”
Martyrs love to exaggerate what they bring to the table. They conveniently forget about all the help they receive and focus solely on their own efforts (which, incidentally, often lag behind everyone else’s). It’s like they think they’re single-handedly keeping the world spinning.
3. “I’m fine, don’t worry about me.”
But they say it in a tone that clearly means they’re not fine, and you absolutely should worry. It’s an invitation for you to pry further and give them attention. They’re fishing for concern while pretending to be selfless.
4. “I guess I’ll just do it myself.”
This is often said with a heavy sigh, even when no one has refused to help. They’re assuming no one will assist them and playing up their ‘lone wolf’ status. It’s a pre-emptive strike to make people feel guilty.
5. “I’m used to being taken for granted.”
Martyrs love to paint themselves as unappreciated heroes. They’ll say this even when people are actively showing them appreciation. It’s their way of fishing for more compliments and reassurance.
6. “Don’t mind me, I’m just the person who…”
This is usually followed by a list of all the things they do for other people. It’s a passive-aggressive way of demanding recognition while pretending to be humble. They’re essentially saying, “Look at all I do, why aren’t you praising me?”
7. “I never get any time for myself.”
Even when they have plenty of free time, martyrs will insist they’re constantly sacrificing for everyone else. They view any personal time as a luxury they can’t afford, wearing their busyness like a badge of honour.
8. “I’m always the one who has to…”
Whether it’s making plans, doing chores, or solving problems, martyrs believe they’re always shouldering the burden. They purposely “forget” all the times when other people have taken the lead or helped out.
9. “No one ever asks how I’m doing.”
Ironically, they often say this right after someone has asked how they’re doing. They’re so focused on feeling neglected that they overlook people’s genuine concern. That doesn’t fit their victim narrative, after all.
10. “I’d do anything for you, but you wouldn’t do the same for me.”
Martyrs love to emphasise their own loyalty while questioning other people’s. They keep score in relationships and always see themselves as giving more than they receive. What’s even more annoying is that they’re usually not willing to go the extra mile for anyone else at all — they just say they are.
11. “I’m just trying to help, but no one appreciates it.”
They’ll say this even when their ‘help’ isn’t needed or wanted. It’s their way of making people feel guilty for not falling over themselves with gratitude for things they never asked for or wanted in the first place.
12. “I can’t remember the last time someone did something nice for me.”
Their selective memory conveniently forgets all the kind gestures they’ve received. They’re so focused on feeling hard done by that they overlook genuine acts of kindness.
13. “I’m always the one who has to compromise.”
In their mind, they’re constantly sacrificing their own wants and needs for other people. They see compromise as a one-way street where they’re always giving in. In reality, they use their self-victimisation to get their own way all the time.
14. “I suppose I’ll just cancel my plans… again.”
This is often said dramatically, even when no one has asked them to cancel anything. They’re creating a scenario where they’re the selfless hero, sacrificing their own enjoyment for other people.
15. “Why does everything always happen to me?”
Martyrs are pros at turning any situation into a personal tragedy. A rainy day isn’t just bad weather, it’s a cosmic attack on their plans. They see themselves as the universe’s favourite punching bag.
16. “I’m fine with whatever you want.”
But they say it in a tone that suggests they’re absolutely not fine with it. It’s yet another passive-aggressive way of making people feel guilty for their choices. They’re setting the stage to later complain about how they always go along with what everyone else wants.
