Small talk often feels awkward and forced, but it doesn’t have to be.
Research has repeatedly shown how important it is, not only because it sets a precedent for deeper conversations, but because it gives you a feel for the other person’s personality/what they’re really like deep down. Getting good at it isn’t rocket science, either. While you might think it’s not worth the effort, your social skills will go through the roof if you master it. For those who have already, you’re likely to hear these phrases from them on a regular basis.
1. “What’s been keeping you busy lately?”
This works so much better than “what do you do?” because it lets people choose what they actually want to talk about. Maybe they’ll mention work, maybe a hobby, or maybe that garden they’ve been obsessing over. It opens up multiple paths for the conversation to flow naturally and lets people share what’s actually on their mind.
2. “You know what this reminds me of…”
This is gold for keeping conversations going when there’s a lull. It lets you connect what they’ve just said to your own experience or another topic. The key is making it relevant to what they were talking about, even if it shifts the conversation slightly. It’s like creating little bridges between topics.
3. “I heard something interesting about that the other day…”
When someone mentions a topic you know a bit about, this is your way in. It shows you’re engaged while adding something new to the mix. Just keep it light — you’re not giving a lecture, you’re sharing something that might spark their interest too.
4. “That must have been [exciting/challenging/interesting].”
This is perfect when you want to show you’re really listening. It reflects back what they’re telling you and encourages them to elaborate. People love feeling understood, and this simple phrase shows you’re picking up on the emotional undertone of their story.
5. “What’s the story behind that?”
Use this when you spot something interesting — maybe a unique piece of jewellery or a comment about their weekend. It’s casual but shows genuine curiosity, and usually leads to more interesting conversations than standard small talk. People usually have stories they’re waiting to share.
6. “You mentioned earlier that…”
Referencing something they said before shows you’re actually paying attention. It’s like a callback in comedy — it makes the whole conversation feel more connected. This works especially well when there’s a natural connection between their earlier point and what’s being discussed now.
7. “That’s such a coincidence because…”
Finding common ground is like striking conversational gold. When you spot a shared experience or interest, pointing out the connection instantly makes the chat more engaging. It moves the conversation from polite chitchat to actual connection.
8. “I’ve been meaning to try that — how did you get into it?”
When someone mentions a hobby or interest, this response shows curiosity while opening up the conversation. It positions them as the expert and gives them a chance to share their enthusiasm. People love sharing their passions, and this gives them permission to do just that.
9. “What’s your take on…”
This is great for including someone who’s been quiet in a group conversation. Pick something light and relevant to what’s being discussed — no heavy politics or controversial topics. It shows you value their opinion and want to hear their perspective.
10. “Tell me more about that.”
Simple but effective when someone touches on something interesting. It’s direct, shows genuine interest, and gives them the floor. The key is using this when you’re actually curious — people can tell when your interest is genuine.
11. “I can totally relate to that…”
When someone shares something you understand, this creates an instant connection. Follow it up with a brief similar experience of your own, but keep it short and loop it back to them. It’s about finding common ground, not taking over the conversation.
12. “Have you heard about…”
This works well when you know something relevant to their interests. Maybe it’s a new restaurant similar to one they mentioned, or an event related to their hobby. The key is making sure it’s actually relevant to what they’ve been talking about.
13. “You seem to really enjoy that…”
When someone lights up talking about something, acknowledge it. It shows you’re picking up on their enthusiasm and encourages them to share more. People love talking about things that make them happy, and this gives them permission to geek out a bit.
14. “I’m still figuring that out myself.”
Being honest about not having all the answers makes you more approachable. If someone asks about something you’re unsure about, this response opens up the conversation rather than shutting it down. It can lead to sharing experiences about learning or trying new things.
15. “What was your favourite part about that?”
When someone mentions an experience — travel, a movie, an event — this question gets them to focus on the highlights. It usually leads to more animated and engaging responses than just asking if they liked it. Plus, it shows you’re interested in their personal take.
16. “That’s a really good point — I hadn’t thought of it that way.”
Acknowledging someone’s perspective, even if it’s different from yours, keeps the conversation positive. It shows you’re listening and value their input. This works especially well in group conversations where you want to keep things flowing smoothly.
17. “I’m curious what happens next…”
When someone’s telling you about something ongoing in their life, this shows you’re invested in their story. It works whether they’re talking about a project, a situation at work, or a hobby they’re developing. People appreciate genuine interest in their journey.
