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Getty Images/iStockphotoSome people just care far too much about what other people think.
You know the type — always desperate for approval, second-guessing their decisions, and worrying about making the “wrong” impression. While a little social awareness is natural, excessive people-pleasing can be draining and ultimately unsatisfying. If you’ve noticed these phrases popping up in your conversations (or other people’s), it might be a sign that you (or they) are letting external opinions hold too much power.
1. “What will people think?”
This classic phrase is often uttered by those who prioritise external validation over their own desires and intuition. They constantly worry about being judged, ridiculed, or ostracised for their choices. This fear can lead to paralysis, preventing them from taking risks or pursuing their true passions.
2. “I don’t want to make waves.”
This phrase reveals a fear of conflict and a reluctance to challenge the status quo. People who use this phrase might avoid speaking their mind, disagreeing with people, or advocating for their own needs. This can lead to resentment, frustration, and a sense of being unheard or undervalued.
3. “I just want everyone to be happy.”
While a noble sentiment, this phrase often masks a deep-seated fear of disapproval or rejection. People-pleasers put everyone else’s happiness at the forefront, often at the expense of their own well-being, leading to burnout and resentment.
4. “I’m not sure if that’s a good idea.”
This phrase reveals a lack of confidence and a reliance on external opinions to validate decisions. People who use this phrase might constantly second-guess themselves, seeking reassurance from other people before taking action. This can hinder their ability to make independent choices and pursue their own goals.
5. “I don’t want to stand out.”
This phrase reflects a fear of being different or attracting attention. People who say this might conform to societal norms and expectations, even if it means suppressing their individuality. This can lead to a sense of emptiness and a feeling of not living authentically.
6. “I’m so embarrassed.”
This phrase reveals a heightened sense of self-consciousness and a fear of being judged negatively. People who frequently express embarrassment might avoid social situations, worry excessively about making mistakes, and have difficulty accepting compliments or praise.
7. “What if I fail?”
This phrase indicates a fear of failure and a preoccupation with potential negative outcomes. People who dwell on this question might hesitate to take risks, avoid challenges, and miss out on opportunities for growth and success.
8. “I’m worried about what they’ll say.”
This phrase highlights the power that other people’s opinions hold over someone’s thoughts and actions. People who frequently express this concern might prioritise other people’s approval over their own happiness and well-being, leading to a constant cycle of seeking validation and avoiding potential criticism.
9. “I don’t want to upset anyone.”
This phrase indicates a strong aversion to conflict and a desire to maintain harmony at any cost. People who use this phrase might avoid expressing their needs or opinions, even when it’s important to do so. This can lead to a build-up of resentment and frustration.
10. “I’m sorry, but…”
While apologising for minor inconveniences is polite, excessive apologising can be a sign of low self-esteem and a need for constant validation. People who overuse this phrase might apologise for their opinions, their existence, or even for things that are not their fault.
11. “I’m not good enough.”
This phrase reveals a deep-seated belief in one’s inadequacy and a constant comparison to other people. People who say this might feel like they are always falling short, no matter how hard they try or how much they achieve.
12. “I need to be perfect.”
This phrase indicates a fear of making mistakes and a belief that any imperfection will lead to rejection or criticism. People who strive for perfection might set unrealistic expectations for themselves and everyone else, leading to anxiety, stress, and disappointment.
13. “I wish I was more like…”
This phrase reveals a tendency to compare themselves to other people and to idealise the other person’s perceived strengths and qualities. This can lead to feelings of envy, inadequacy, and a desire to change who you are to fit in or gain approval.
14. “I’m not sure what to wear.”
While this might seem like a trivial concern, constantly worrying about what to wear can be a symptom of a deeper insecurity and a desire to fit in or make a good impression. People who obsess over their appearance might prioritise external validation over their own comfort and self-expression.
15. “I need to lose weight/get in shape.”
Source: Unsplash These phrases can indicate a preoccupation with body image and a fear of not meeting societal standards of beauty. People who constantly focus on their physical appearance might neglect their mental and emotional well-being, leading to a distorted sense of self-worth.
16. “I hope they like me.”
Source: Unsplash This phrase reveals a deep-seated need for approval and acceptance. People who constantly seek validation from others might struggle to develop a strong sense of self and might base their self-worth on other people’s opinions, which is a bit silly.
17. “I’m just a people pleaser.”
This phrase can be a way of acknowledging the issue but also dismissing it as an unchangeable personality trait. While some people are naturally more inclined to please people, excessive people-pleasing can be a learned behaviour that can be unlearned through self-reflection and deliberate action.
