We all know that person who seems to revel in making everyone squirm.
It’s like they thrive on awkward silences, embarrassing stories, or inappropriate jokes. Whatever the case, they clearly a kick out of pushing people’s buttons and crossing social boundaries. While it’s important to remember that not everyone shares the same comfort levels, there are certain behaviours that consistently make people feel uncomfortable. Here are some red flags to look out for.
1. They make inappropriate jokes or comments.
These people seem to have no filter when it comes to humour. They crack jokes that are offensive, insensitive, or simply not funny. They often make comments that are sexually suggestive, discriminatory, or aimed at someone’s insecurities. Their humour is designed to shock, provoke, and make people feel uncomfortable.
2. They invade personal space.
They stand too close, touch you without permission, or make you feel physically uncomfortable in other ways. They might lean in too close when they talk, put their arm around you without asking, or even try to kiss you when you’re not interested. This lack of respect for personal boundaries can be incredibly unsettling.
3. They stare intensely.
Their gaze can be unnerving, making you feel like you’re being scrutinised or judged. They might stare at you for extended periods, making you self-conscious and uncomfortable. It can be especially unsettling if it’s accompanied by a smirk or a knowing look.
4. They ask overly personal questions.
They pry into your personal life, asking questions that are too intimate or inappropriate. They might inquire about your relationship status, your income, or even your sexual history. This nosiness can be intrusive and make you feel like your privacy is being violated.
5. They make backhanded compliments.
Their compliments are often disguised insults. They might say something like, “You look so much better with makeup on,” or “I’m surprised you got that job.” These comments are designed to make you feel insecure and question your worth.
6. They create awkward silences.
Source: Unsplash They might abruptly change the subject, say something completely off-topic, or simply stop talking altogether, leaving you in an uncomfortable silence. This can be a tactic to make you feel uneasy or to gain the upper hand in a conversation.
7. They share embarrassing stories about you.
Source: Unsplash They love to tell stories that make you look bad or put you in an awkward position. They might recount embarrassing moments from your past or share personal details you didn’t want anyone to know. This is disrespectful and can damage your reputation and relationships.
8. They flirt inappropriately.
Source: Unsplash They make sexual advances or comments that are unwanted and unwelcome. They might touch you inappropriately, make suggestive remarks, or try to pressure you into sexual activity. This is harassment and can be incredibly traumatic for the victim.
9. They mock or belittle people.
Source: Unsplash They put people down, make fun of their appearance, intelligence, or achievements. They use sarcasm and ridicule to make themselves feel superior and to demean people. This is hurtful and can have lasting negative effects on the person being targeted.
10. They interrupt and talk over people.
Source: Unsplash They dominate conversations, not letting other people get a word in edgewise. They interrupt, talk over people, and generally ignore other people’s opinions or experiences. This is super disrespectful and can make people feel unheard and unimportant.
11. They play devil’s advocate to the extreme.
Source: Unsplash While a healthy debate can be stimulating, they take it to the extreme by always arguing the opposite side, even if they don’t believe in it. They enjoy provoking people and stirring up conflict, even when it’s unnecessary or hurtful. This can be frustrating and exhausting for those who engage with them.
12. They use passive-aggressive tactics.
Source: Unsplash Instead of directly addressing their issues or concerns, they resort to subtle digs, sarcasm, and backhanded compliments. They make you feel uneasy and unsure of where you stand with them. This is manipulative and can create a toxic environment.
13. They constantly one-up everyone.
Source: Unsplash No matter what you share, they always have a better story, a bigger achievement, or a more impressive experience. They can’t simply be happy for you; they have to make it about themselves. This constant need to outshine everyone can be exhausting and make you feel like you’re constantly competing with them.
14. They make insensitive or offensive remarks about your beliefs or values.
Source: Unsplash They might make jokes about your religion, mock your political views, or dismiss your opinions as unimportant. This disrespect for your beliefs and values can be hurtful and alienating. It shows a lack of empathy and understanding, and can damage the relationship beyond repair.
15. They project their own insecurities onto other people.
Source: Pexels They might criticise your appearance, question your intelligence, or make you doubt your own abilities. This stems from their own insecurities and a desire to make themselves feel better by putting people down. It’s important to notice this pattern and not internalise their negativity.
