Growing up with overly strict parents can have a lasting impact on a person’s personality and behaviour.
While every person’s experience is unique, there are some common traits that often emerge in adults who were raised in highly controlled environments. Here are 16 traits frequently observed in people who grew up with overly strict parents.
1. They’re perfectionists.
People raised in strict households often internalise high standards and expectations. This can lead to perfectionist tendencies in adulthood, where they strive for flawlessness in everything they do. While this can drive success, it can also lead to stress and anxiety when they inevitably fall short of impossible standards.
2. They struggle with decision-making.
When children aren’t allowed to make their own choices, they may struggle with decision-making as adults. They might second-guess themselves or feel paralysed when faced with options. This indecisiveness can stem from a fear of making the “wrong” choice and facing disapproval or punishment.
3. They’re often rule-followers.
Growing up in an environment with rigid rules can create adults who are uncomfortable breaking even minor rules. They may feel intense guilt or anxiety when bending regulations, even when it’s harmless or necessary. This strict adherence to rules can sometimes hinder flexibility and spontaneity.
4. They may have difficulty expressing emotions.
Strict parents often discourage emotional expression, leading to adults who struggle to identify or express their feelings. They might come across as stoic or detached, even when experiencing intense emotions internally. This can create challenges in forming deep, emotional connections with others.
5. They often have a strong sense of responsibility.
People raised by strict parents often develop a keen sense of duty and responsibility. While this can be a positive trait, it can also lead to taking on too much and feeling overwhelmed by obligations. They might struggle to say no or set boundaries, fearing they’re not living up to expectations.
6. They may be prone to rebellion in adulthood.
Some people who grew up under strict rules may swing to the other extreme in adulthood. They might rebel against authority figures or societal norms as a way of asserting the independence they were denied in childhood. This rebellion can sometimes lead to risky or self-destructive behaviours.
7. They often struggle with self-esteem issues.
Constant criticism or high expectations from strict parents can lead to low self-esteem in adulthood. These people might have a harsh inner critic and struggle to recognise their own worth. They may constantly seek approval from others, replicating the dynamic they had with their parents.
8. They’re often high achievers.
The pressure to excel instilled by strict parents can create adults who are driven to succeed. While this can lead to impressive accomplishments, it can also result in burnout if they don’t learn to balance their ambitions with self-care and relaxation.
9. They may have difficulty relaxing or having fun.
People raised in strict environments might struggle to let loose and enjoy themselves. They may feel guilty about taking time for leisure or perceive it as unproductive. Learning to relax and have fun without feeling anxious or guilty can be a significant challenge for them.
10. They often have a strong work ethic.
Strict upbringings often instil a solid work ethic. They tend to be reliable, punctual, and dedicated in their professional lives. While this can lead to career success, it’s important for them to learn to balance work with other aspects of life.
11. They may struggle with intimacy and vulnerability.
Growing up in an environment where emotional expression was discouraged can lead to difficulties with intimacy in adult relationships. They might find it challenging to open up, show vulnerability, or fully trust others. This can create barriers in forming deep, meaningful connections.
12. They’re often well-organised and disciplined.
The structure imposed by strict parents often translates into excellent organisational skills in adulthood. They tend to be disciplined and good at planning. While this can be beneficial, it’s important for them to allow for some flexibility and spontaneity in their lives.
13. They may have a fear of failure.
Strict parenting often comes with high expectations and harsh consequences for failure. This can create adults who are terrified of making mistakes or failing at tasks. This fear can hold them back from taking risks or trying new things, limiting their personal and professional growth.
14. They often have a strong sense of right and wrong.
People raised in strict households often develop a clear moral compass. While this can be a positive trait, it can also lead to black-and-white thinking and difficulty navigating moral gray areas. They might be quick to judge others or themselves harshly.
15. They may struggle with assertiveness.
Source: Unsplash Growing up in an environment where their opinions weren’t valued or heard can lead to difficulties with assertiveness in adulthood. They might struggle to stand up for themselves, express their needs, or confront others when necessary. Learning to be assertive without feeling guilty can be a significant challenge.
16. They often have a complicated relationship with authority.
Source: Unsplash People raised by strict parents may have conflicting feelings about authority figures. On one hand, they might be very respectful and compliant with authority due to their upbringing. On the other, they may harbour resentment or distrust towards those in power. Navigating these feelings can be complex in professional and personal situations.
