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It takes a long time to truly get to know yourself — it doesn’t happen overnight.

It’s a difficult and sometimes painful process that requires a lot of honesty, but once you have a hold on who you truly are, everything in your life changes. People who know who they are inside and out manage to avoid many of the mistakes other people make, including these ones.

1. They don’t ignore their gut feelings.

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That little voice inside your head? It’s not always wrong. People who know themselves well have learned to trust their intuition. They understand that their gut feelings are often based on a lifetime of experiences and observations. While they don’t always act on impulse, they definitely don’t ignore that nagging feeling that something’s not quite right. Trusting your gut isn’t about being irrational, it’s about tapping into your subconscious wisdom.

2. They don’t compare themselves to anyone else, ever.

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We all do it sometimes, but people who know themselves well understand that it’s a losing game. They know that everyone’s journey is different, and comparing yourself to other people only leads to unnecessary stress and self-doubt. Instead, they focus on their own progress, celebrate their own achievements, and learn from their own mistakes. Anyway, it’s like comparing apples and oranges – it’s simply not productive.

3. They don’t settle for less than they deserve.

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Whether it’s in relationships, careers, or personal goals, people who know themselves well don’t settle for mediocrity. They have a clear understanding of their values and what they want out of life. They set high standards for themselves and don’t compromise on their core principles. This doesn’t mean they’re arrogant or unrealistic; it simply means they know their worth and won’t settle for anything less than what they deserve.

4. They don’t let anyone else define them — they define themselves.

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People who are self-aware understand that their identity isn’t determined by things like their job, social status, or the other people’s opinions. They know who they are at their core and don’t need external validation to feel good about themselves. They’re confident in their own skin and don’t let anyone else dictate their choices or values. They live life on their own terms, not according to someone else’s script.

5. They don’t dwell on the past.

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While it’s important to learn from past experiences, people who know themselves well don’t get stuck in a cycle of regret or self-blame. They accept that everyone makes mistakes and that dwelling on the past is counterproductive. Instead, they focus on the present moment and make conscious choices that move them towards their goals. They understand that the past is a stepping stone, not a stumbling block.

6. They don’t neglect their mental health.

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Self-awareness includes being aware of your emotional and mental well-being. People who know themselves well prioritise their mental health, just like they would their physical health. They make time for self-care, ask for help when they need it, and don’t hesitate to reach out to a therapist or counsellor if they’re struggling. They understand that mental health is just as important as physical health, and that neglecting it can have serious consequences.

7. They don’t surround themselves with toxic people.

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People who know themselves well are mindful of the company they keep. They understand that toxic relationships can drain their energy and hinder their personal growth. They surround themselves with positive, supportive people who lift them up and inspire them. They’re not afraid to cut ties with those who bring negativity or drama into their lives. They know that their well-being is too valuable to waste on toxic relationships.

8. They don’t neglect their passions.

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They have a deep understanding of their passions and interests. They make time for the things they love, whether it’s hobbies, creative pursuits, or simply spending time in nature. They understand that nurturing their passions brings joy, fulfilment, and a sense of purpose to their lives. They don’t let their busy schedules or responsibilities overshadow their personal interests. They prioritise the activities that make them happy.

9. They don’t run away from their problems.

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People who know themselves well understand that problems are inevitable. They don’t try to sweep them under the rug or pretend they don’t exist. Instead, they face them head-on, analyse the situation, and come up with solutions. They see challenges as opportunities for growth and don’t shy away from difficult conversations or decisions. They know that avoiding problems only makes them worse in the long run, so they tackle them with courage and determination.

10. They don’t want or need external validation.

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While external validation can feel good, people who know themselves well don’t rely on it for their self-worth. They have a strong internal sense of validation and don’t need other people to tell them they’re good enough. They’re happy to hear feedback and constructive criticism, but they don’t let other people’s opinions dictate their self-esteem. They know that true validation comes from within, not from external sources.

11. They don’t try to be someone they’re not.

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They embrace their authenticity. They don’t try to fit into a mould or be someone they’re not just to please other people. They’re comfortable with their quirks, flaws, and unique personality traits. They understand that being true to themselves is the key to genuine happiness and fulfilling relationships. They don’t pretend to be someone they’re not because they know that authenticity is far more valuable than any facade.

12. They don’t let fear dictate their choices.

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Fear is a powerful emotion that can hold us back from living our best lives. People who know themselves well acknowledge their fears but don’t let them control their decisions. They push themselves out of their comfort zones, take calculated risks, and pursue their dreams, even when it’s scary. They understand that fear is often just a mental barrier, and they have the courage to overcome it.

13. They don’t neglect their personal growth.

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Self-aware people understand that personal growth is a lifelong journey. They’re constantly trying to better themselves. They read books, attend workshops, try new hobbies, and engage in conversations that challenge their perspectives. They know that learning and growing is essential for personal development, and that stagnation can lead to boredom and dissatisfaction. They embrace the journey of self-improvement with enthusiasm and curiosity.

14. They don’t live in the future or the past.

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People who know themselves well live in the present moment. They understand that the past is gone, and the future is uncertain. They don’t dwell on regrets or worry about what might happen. Instead, they focus on making the most of the here and now. They savour the simple pleasures of life, appreciate the people around them, and find joy in everyday experiences. They understand that the present moment is all we truly have, and they make a conscious effort to live it to the fullest.