You deserve to be loved and respected by a partner, so why do you so often settle for less?
You might think you know what a healthy connection looks like, but if these things are common occurrences in your relationships, you’re sending the message that you’re a-okay with the bare minimum (and that’s not good).
1. You’re always the one initiating contact.
If you’re constantly the one reaching out first, it might be a sign you’re accepting less than you deserve. A balanced relationship involves both people making an effort to stay connected. If you’re always the one texting or calling first, your partner isn’t putting in any effort (because they don’t have to).
2. They only make plans at the last minute.
When someone consistently fails to include you in their plans and only reaches out at the eleventh hour, it’s a red flag. It suggests you’re not a priority, and they’re fitting you in when it’s convenient for them, rather than making you a consistent part of their life.
3. You’re always compromising, but they never do.
Source: Unsplash Relationships require give and take from both sides. If you find yourself constantly adjusting your schedule, preferences, or boundaries to accommodate them, but they never return the favour, you’re likely accepting the bare minimum.
4. They’re only affectionate when they want something.
Affection shouldn’t be a transaction. If your partner only shows warmth or kindness when they need a favour or want something from you, it’s a sign of manipulation. Genuine affection should be given freely, not used as a bargaining chip.
5. You’re always walking on eggshells around them.
Feeling like you need to constantly monitor your words and actions to avoid upsetting your partner is exhausting and unhealthy. A good relationship should make you feel comfortable being yourself, not afraid of triggering their negative reactions.
6. They never ask about your day or your feelings.
If your partner shows little interest in your life, experiences, or emotions, it’s a clear sign you’re accepting less than you deserve. A caring partner should be genuinely curious about your thoughts, feelings, and daily experiences.
7. You’re always the one apologising, even when it’s not your fault.
Constantly taking the blame to keep the peace is a sign of an unbalanced relationship. If you find yourself apologising for things that aren’t your fault or for expressing your feelings, you’re likely accepting the bare minimum in terms of respect and understanding.
8. They make promises but rarely follow through.
Words without actions are meaningless. If your partner consistently makes promises they don’t keep, whether it’s about changing their behaviour or doing something for you, it shows a lack of respect for you and your feelings.
9. You’re afraid to express your needs or wants.
In a healthy relationship, you should feel comfortable expressing your needs and desires. If you’re holding back out of fear of rejection, ridicule, or conflict, it’s a sign that you’re not getting the emotional support and understanding you deserve.
10. They’re only invested in the physical aspect of the relationship.
While physical intimacy is important, it shouldn’t be the only form of connection in a relationship. If your partner seems disinterested in emotional intimacy or spending quality time together outside the bedroom, you’re likely settling for less than a full, well-rounded relationship.
11. You’re always making excuses for their behaviour to other people.
If you find yourself constantly defending your partner’s actions or words to friends and family, it might be time to evaluate why. A partner worth your time shouldn’t need you to make excuses for them regularly.
12. They never celebrate your achievements.
A supportive partner should be your biggest cheerleader. If your significant other shows little interest or enthusiasm when you succeed, it’s a sign they’re not fully invested in your happiness and growth.
13. You feel lonely even when you’re together.
Feeling emotionally disconnected or lonely while physically with your partner is a sad sign that you’re not getting the emotional intimacy you deserve. A fulfilling relationship should make you feel connected and understood, not isolated.
14. They’re inconsistent in their behaviour towards you.
If your partner’s attitude and behaviour towards you changes frequently and unpredictably, it can leave you feeling confused and insecure. Consistency is key in healthy relationships, and you deserve someone who’s reliably kind and considerate.
15. You’re always the one planning dates or special occasions.
While it’s great to take initiative, the effort to keep the romance alive should come from both sides. If you’re always the one planning dates, remembering anniversaries, or trying to create special moments, you might be accepting less effort than you deserve.
16. They dismiss your feelings or concerns.
When you bring up issues or express your feelings, a caring partner should listen and take your concerns seriously. If your partner routinely dismisses, invalidates, or minimises your emotions, it’s a clear sign you’re accepting less respect and empathy than you should.
17. You’ve stopped expecting them to change.
While it’s true that we shouldn’t expect to change our partners, if you’ve completely given up hope that they’ll ever meet your basic needs or treat you better, it’s a sad sign you’ve accepted the bare minimum. You deserve to have standards and expectations met in a relationship.
18. You’re staying because you’re afraid of being alone.
If the main reason you’re in the relationship is fear of being single, it’s a clear sign you’re settling. A fulfilling relationship should add value to your life, not just fill a void. You deserve a partner who enhances your life, not someone you’re with just to avoid being alone.
