Thinking before you speak is a practise that’s in short supply these days.
However, people with a modicum of self-awareness know that what you say — and how you say it — can really affect the people they’re talking to. That’s why they pause, consider, and avoid saying any of these phrases in their daily conversations.
1. “That’s not my problem.”
Source: Unsplash This dismissive phrase can come across as insensitive and uncaring. Self-aware people understand that even if an issue doesn’t directly affect them, it doesn’t mean it’s not important to someone else. They show empathy and offer support, even if it’s just a listening ear or a few words of encouragement.
2. “I told you so.”
This phrase, while tempting to use when proven right, can be perceived as gloating and condescending. Self-aware people understand that nobody likes to be reminded of their mistakes. Instead of rubbing it in, they offer constructive feedback or support, focusing on helping the person learn and grow from the experience.
3. “You always…” or “You never…”
These generalisations are rarely accurate and often escalate conflicts. Self-aware people focus on specific actions/behaviours and avoid making sweeping statements about someone’s character. They express their concerns or frustrations in a constructive way, without resorting to accusatory language.
4. “It’s just a joke.”
Humour can be a great way to connect with others, but it’s important to be mindful of your audience and their sensitivities. Self-aware people understand that not everyone finds the same things funny, and they apologise if their humour unintentionally offends someone. They also recognise that using humour as a defence mechanism to avoid accountability or deflect criticism is not a sign of maturity.
5. “I don’t care.”
This phrase can come across as apathetic and dismissive. Self-aware people understand the importance of expressing their feelings and opinions, even if it means disagreeing with someone. They engage in conversations with respect and empathy, even if they don’t particularly care about the topic at hand.
6. “You’re overreacting.”
Invalidating someone’s feelings will inevitably damage a relationship. Self-aware people understand that everyone has different triggers and sensitivities. They listen with empathy and validate the other person’s emotions, even if they don’t fully understand them.
7. “This is just how I am.”
While self-acceptance is important, this phrase can be used as an excuse to avoid personal growth or taking responsibility for one’s actions. Self-aware people get that they’re not perfect and are open to feedback and self-improvement. They strive to be the best version of themselves, even if it means stepping outside their comfort zone.
8. “Why can’t you be more like [insert name]?”
Comparing someone to another person is hurtful and unproductive. Self-aware people appreciate each individual’s unique qualities and avoid making comparisons. They focus on celebrating the person’s strengths and encouraging them to be their best selves, rather than trying to mould them into someone they’re not.
9. “It’s your fault.”
Blaming others for your own mistakes or shortcomings is a sign of immaturity and lack of accountability. Self-aware people own up to their actions and take responsibility for their choices. They understand that blaming others doesn’t solve problems; it only creates resentment and hinders personal growth.
10. “I’m always right.”
Source: Unsplash Nobody is infallible, and self-aware people accept this. They’re open to the possibility that they might be wrong and are willing to change their minds when presented with new information or perspectives. They engage in conversations with humility and a willingness to learn, rather than clinging to a rigid belief that they’re always right.
11. “That’s just how the world works.”
Source: Unsplash This defeatist attitude can be a sign of cynicism and a lack of agency. Self-aware people know that they have the power to influence their own lives and the world around them. They don’t accept injustice or inequality as inevitable; they strive to create positive change and make a difference.
12. “I can’t change.”
Growth is a lifelong journey, and self-aware people embrace the opportunity to learn and evolve. They don’t see their flaws as fixed or unchangeable; they view them as areas for improvement. They’re willing to put in the effort to overcome challenges and become better versions of themselves.
13. “I’m not good enough.”
Self-doubt and negative self-talk can be toxic to one’s self-esteem. Self-aware people practice self-compassion and recognise their own worth. They focus on their strengths and achievements, rather than dwelling on their perceived flaws. They understand that everyone has imperfections, and they strive to be kind to themselves in the face of challenges.
14. “Life is unfair.”
While life can be challenging and unpredictable, self-aware people don’t wallow in self-pity or complain about how unfair life is. They accept that setbacks and disappointments are part of the human experience, and they focus on finding solutions and moving forward. They understand that complaining doesn’t change anything; action does.
15. “I know everything.”
Arrogance and a know-it-all attitude are not attractive qualities. Self-aware people know that there’s always more to learn and that everyone has something to teach them. They approach conversations with curiosity and humility, eager to gain new knowledge and perspectives.
16. “I’m perfect.”
Nobody is perfect, and striving for perfection is an unrealistic and unattainable goal. Self-aware people embrace their imperfections and recognise that it’s their flaws that make them unique and interesting. They focus on personal growth and self-improvement, rather than chasing an impossible ideal.
17. “I don’t need anyone.”
Source: Unsplash We are social creatures, and connection with others is essential for our well-being. Self-aware people totally understand the importance of relationships and community. They don’t shy away from asking for help when they need it, and they’re grateful for the support they receive from others. They understand that vulnerability is not a weakness; it’s a strength.
