If you’re constantly feeling like you never quite measure up to everyone around you, stop right there.
The idea that you’re not up to scratch or that you’re not destined for anything more than second place in life is ridiculous. It’s a lie you tell yourself because you lack self-respect, and you deserve better than that. Here’s how to start feeling a bit better about yourself.
1. Stop comparing yourself to other people — seriously.
It’s time to quit playing the “they’re better than me” game. Your journey is your own, not a competition with the rest of the world. Anyway, while you’re busy eyeing up someone else’s grass, yours could be turning into a jungle. Focus on your own patch, water it, and watch it bloom.
2. Learn to say “no” without feeling guilty.
Saying “yes” to everything doesn’t make you a superhero, it makes you a doormat. It’s okay to turn down invites, favours, or extra work if it doesn’t suit you. Your time is valuable, and you don’t need to feel guilty for saying “no”. You don’t always need to explain yourself — unless you’re talking to the police, then maybe elaborate a bit.
3. Celebrate your wins, no matter how small.
Did you get out of bed today? High five! Finished a project? Time for a happy dance! Don’t wait for a Nobel Prize to pat yourself on the back. Celebrating small victories is like giving your self-esteem a little pep talk every day. Before you know it, you’ll be your own biggest cheerleader.
4. Stop seeking validation from other people.
Your worth isn’t determined by likes on social media or compliments from other people. It’s an inside job. Start approving of yourself first, and watch how less you’ll care about other people’s opinions. Why do they matter so much, anyway?
5. Set boundaries and stick to them.
Think of boundaries as the fence around your personal kingdom. They protect your time, energy, and peace of mind. Don’t let other people trample all over your royal garden. It’s okay to let people know when they’ve crossed a line. Your kingdom, your rules!
6. Invest time in things you’re passionate about.
Nothing boosts self-respect like being good at something you love. Whether it’s painting, coding, or even competitive dog grooming, dive into your interests. When you’re in your element, you’ll naturally feel more confident. Plus, you might just discover that you’ve got some hidden talents you’ve never even realised.
7. Stop apologising for everything.
Unless you’ve done something seriously hurtful or harmful, stop with the “I’m sorry” parade. Constantly apologising can make you feel small and undermine your self-respect. Save your sorries for when you’ve actually messed up. For everything else, there’s “thank you for your patience” or “excuse me”.
8. Surround yourself with supportive people.
Ditch the energy vampires and surround yourself with people who lift you up. Your circle should be less competitive and more supportive. Good friends will celebrate your wins and help you through the rough patches. If your current crew makes you feel second-best, it might be time for a friend upgrade.
9. Take care of your physical health.
Treat your body like it’s the only one you’ve got — because, well, it is. Eat well, move more, get enough sleep. When you feel good physically, your mental state often follows suit. It’s hard to feel like a rock star when you’re running on junk food and three hours of sleep.
10. Stop putting yourself down, even as a joke.
Source: Unsplash Self-deprecating humour might get a few laughs, but it’s doing your self-respect no favours. Your brain doesn’t know you’re joking — it’s taking notes! Swap those put-downs for neutral statements or, even better, compliments. You wouldn’t let someone else talk that way to you, so why do it to yourself?
11. Learn from your mistakes, don’t dwell on them.
Everyone messes up sometimes. The key is to treat your mistakes like a bad date — learn from it and move on, don’t keep reliving the awkward moments. Each misstep is a lesson in disguise if you use it right. Who knows, your next big success might come from a previous facepalm moment.
12. Speak up for yourself.
Your opinions and feelings matter, so let them be heard! Don’t let your thoughts get stuck in your head like a catchy tune. Whether it’s voicing your ideas at work or telling your mate their new haircut looks like a mop (kindly, of course), speaking up shows you value and back yourself.
13. Treat yourself like you’d treat your best friend.
If your best friend was feeling down, would you tell them they’re useless? Of course not, so why do it to yourself? Be your own BFF. Offer yourself the same kindness, patience, and encouragement you’d give to someone you care about. After all, you’re stuck with yourself for life — might as well make it a good relationship!
