Your body language might be sending the wrong message and putting people off, even if you don’t realise it.
Those non-verbal cues you’re giving out could be offensive, rude, or just plain awkward. If you want to improve your interactions and relationships, it’s crucial to be aware of how you’re coming across. Here are 13 signs your body language is offensive to other people.
1. You invade people’s personal space.
Ever had someone stand way too close during a conversation, making you feel uncomfortable and trapped? Yeah, that’s called invading personal space and it’s a major body language no-no. Respect people’s boundaries and give them some room to breathe. Aim for about an arm’s length of distance in most social situations. Getting all up in someone’s face will inevitably make them feel attacked and defensive.
2. You cross your arms a lot.
Crossing your arms might feel natural and comfortable to you, but to other people, it comes across as defensive, closed off, and unapproachable. It’s like you’re putting up a physical barrier between you and the person you’re interacting with. Uncross those arms and keep an open, relaxed posture. Show that you’re engaged and receptive to what they have to say. Crossing your arms sends the message that you’re not interested or that you’re judging them.
3. You avoid making eye contact.
Source: Unsplash Failing to make eye contact during a conversation is a big body language mistake. It makes you seem shifty, untrustworthy, and like you’ve got something to hide. On the flip side, intensely staring someone down is just as bad — it comes across as aggressive and confrontational. Aim for a natural balance. Make eye contact to show you’re listening, but don’t forget to blink and glance away occasionally. Darting eyes or refusing to meet someone’s gaze is a red flag.
4. You’re fidgety and restless.
Constantly fidgeting, tapping your foot, or playing with your hair might be a nervous habit for you, but it’s distracting and annoying for people. It sends the message that you’re bored, impatient, or not fully present in the conversation. Try to keep your movements purposeful and controlled. If you’re feeling restless, take a deep breath and focus on being still. Fidgeting makes you seem disinterested and like you’d rather be somewhere else.
5. You check your phone all the time.
Source: Unsplash We’re all guilty of sneaking a peek at our phones during a conversation, but it’s a major body language faux pas. It tells the other person that whatever’s happening on your screen is more important than them. Put your phone away and give them your full attention. Respond to their cues and show that you’re actively engaged. Constantly glancing at your phone or texting during a conversation is just plain rude.
6. You’re always scowling or frowning.
Source: Unsplash Your facial expressions speak volumes about your mood and attitude. Scowling, frowning, or looking generally unhappy sends a negative message to those around you. Even if you’re not feeling particularly cheerful, try to keep a neutral or slightly positive expression. Smile when appropriate and avoid looking like you’ve got a permanent storm cloud over your head. A sour face is off-putting and makes people hesitant to approach you.
7. You roll your eyes a lot.
Source: Unsplash Rolling your eyes is the ultimate sign of disrespect and contempt. It’s dismissive, condescending, and just plain rude. Even if you disagree with someone or think what they’re saying is ridiculous, rolling your eyes is not the way to handle it. Keep your expression neutral and find a more constructive way to express your thoughts. Eye-rolling is childish and immature, and it’ll make people lose respect for you.
8. You’re guilty of manspreading.
Source: Unsplash Manspreading, or sitting with your legs spread wide apart, is a body language no-no, especially in public spaces. It comes across as entitled, inconsiderate, and like you’re taking up more than your fair share of space. Be mindful of how much room you’re occupying and keep your legs together, especially on public transport or in crowded areas. Manspreading is a quick way to annoy and offend those around you.
9. You do a lot of pointing or jabbing.
Source: Unsplash Pointing or jabbing your finger at someone during a conversation is aggressive and confrontational. It’s like you’re physically attacking them with your words. Keep your hands to yourself and avoid any sharp, jabbing gestures. If you need to emphasise a point, use an open palm or a gentle gesture. Finger-pointing comes across as angry and hostile, and it’ll put the other person on the defensive.
10. You’re always yawning or looking bored.
Source: Unsplash Yawning or looking bored during a conversation will obviously offend the other person. It sends the message that you’re not interested in what they have to say and that you’d rather be somewhere else. Even if you are feeling a bit tired or unengaged, try to hide it. Maintain eye contact, nod along, and ask questions to show that you’re listening. Yawning or looking disinterested is just plain rude.
11. You cross your legs away from the person you’re talking to.
Source: Unsplash The direction of your crossed legs can send a subtle but powerful body language message. Crossing your legs away from the person you’re interacting with comes across as disinterested, closed off, and like you’re trying to distance yourself from them. Instead, try crossing your legs towards them or keeping both feet on the ground. Show that you’re open and engaged in the conversation.
12. You interrupt or talk over people a lot.
Source: Unsplash Interrupting or talking over someone is a major body language offence. It’s like you’re physically cutting them off and not allowing them to finish their thoughts. Wait for a natural pause before jumping in with your own comments or questions. Show that you value what they have to say by giving them the space to speak. Interrupting comes across as impatient, self-centred, and like you think what you have to say is more important.
13. You fail to mirror other people’s body language.
Source: Unsplash Mirroring is a subtle but effective way to build rapport and show that you’re on the same wavelength as someone. It involves subtly mimicking their body language, like leaning in when they lean in or crossing your arms when they cross theirs. Failing to mirror can make you seem out of sync and like you’re not fully present in the conversation. Pay attention to their cues and try to match their energy and posture.
