We’re all guilty of overthinking sometimes, and when done in moderation, it’s really no big deal. However, if you relate to any of the following behaviours, overthinking could be overtaking (and ruining) your life, and you need to change your ways ASAP.
1. You replay conversations in your head over and over again.
Source: Unsplash It’s like a broken record that just won’t stop. You keep dissecting every word, every inflection, every facial expression, trying to find hidden meanings or clues that you might have missed. Did you say the wrong thing? Did you offend someone? Could you have handled it better? You keep hitting the replay button, and the self-doubt starts to creep in.
2. You have trouble falling asleep because your mind is racing.
Source: Unsplash You hit the pillow, hoping for a peaceful night’s rest, but your mind has other plans. The thoughts go around and around in your head, refusing to quiet down. You try counting sheep, deep breathing exercises, or meditation, but nothing seems to work. The more you try to force yourself to sleep, the more awake you are, and the cycle continues. You usually wake up with dark circles under your eyes from the lack of rest.
3. You often feel anxious or stressed, even when there’s no obvious reason.
Source: Unsplash Your heart races, your palms sweat, and a sense of total dread washes over you, but when you try to pinpoint the source of your anxiety, you come up empty-handed. It’s like a low-grade fever that lingers in the background, sapping your energy and making it difficult to focus on anything else. This constant state of unease can take a toll on your physical and mental health.
4. You second-guess yourself constantly and have trouble making decisions.
Source: Unsplash Even the smallest decisions can feel overwhelming, as you weigh the pros and cons, analyse every possible outcome, and worry about making the wrong choice. You turn to other people for reassurance a lot, but their opinions only add to the confusion. In the end, you often end up feeling paralysed by indecision.
5. You analyse every little detail of your interactions with the world around you.
Source: Unsplash Every text message, email, and casual conversation becomes a subject of intense scrutiny. You read between the lines, looking for hidden messages or clues about how people see you. Did they really mean what they said? Were they being sarcastic? Are they secretly judging you? This habit inevitably leads to misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and unnecessary drama, but you just can’t stop yourself.
6. You worry a lot about the future and dwell on past mistakes.
Source: Unsplash You berate yourself for past mistakes, regularly reliving embarrassing moments or regretting decisions you made, almost as if you feel like you deserve to be punished for them. You worry about what might happen tomorrow, next week, or next year, creating worst-case scenarios and imagining all the ways things could go wrong. Needless to say, with all of this worrying about the past and future, that doesn’t leave much room for living in the present.
7. You don’t know how to relax and enjoy yourself.
Source: Unsplash Even when you’re on holiday or spending time with loved ones, your mind is still buzzing with worries. You can’t seem to turn off the noise in your head and simply be present in the moment. You feel guilty for not being productive or worry that something bad might happen if you let your guard down. This inability to relax can lead to burnout, exhaustion, and a general feeling of being miserable with life.
8. You often feel like you’re not good enough or that you don’t measure up.
Source: Unsplash You compare yourself to everyone else constantly, focusing on everything you think you’re lacking. You feel like you’re always one step behind, never quite achieving the success or happiness that everyone else seems to have effortlessly. This negative self-talk can destroy your self-esteem, making it difficult to believe in yourself and your abilities.
9. You have trouble letting go of things that didn’t go as planned.
Source: Unsplash You dwell on the most minor mishaps for days or even weeks, and it’s a serious problem. Instead of brushing them off and moving on, you keep replaying the scenes in your head, analysing what you could have done differently, and beating yourself up for your so-called failure. This inability to let go can create a cycle of negativity and self-blame.
10. You spend a lot of time worrying about what other people think of you.
Source: Unsplash You’re constantly trying to read people’s minds, wondering if they like you, approve of you, or think you’re weird. You analyse their every word and action, searching for clues about their true feelings. You worry about saying or doing the wrong thing, and you often go out of your way to please everyone, even if it means sacrificing your own needs and desires. This preoccupation with other people’s opinions can be exhausting and prevent you from living the life you want to live.
11. You find it difficult to trust your own instincts and intuition.
Source: Unsplash You’re always second-guessing yourself, wondering if you’re making the right decisions or if you’re on the right path. You ask people for advice, but their opinions only make you feel more confused. You doubt your own abilities and feel like you need constant validation from outside sources.
12. You have a tendency to catastrophize, imagining the worst-case scenario in every situation.
Source: Unsplash You’re always expecting the worst, even when there’s no evidence to support your fears. You imagine all the ways things could go wrong, creating elaborate scenarios of disaster and doom. This tendency to catastrophize can lead to anxiety, panic attacks, and a general sense of helplessness. It can also prevent you from taking action or making decisions because you’re paralysed by fear of the potential consequences.
13. You have trouble setting boundaries and saying “no.”
Source: Unsplash You often feel obligated to say “yes” to requests, even when you don’t have the time or energy to fulfil them. You worry about disappointing people or being seen as selfish or unhelpful. This inability to set boundaries can lead to resentment, burnout, and a general feeling of being overwhelmed and taken advantage of.
14. You’re highly sensitive to criticism and feedback, even when it’s constructive.
Source: Unsplash You take everything personally, even when it’s not meant to be. You see criticism as a personal attack, and you dwell on negative feedback, even when it’s intended to help you grow and improve. This hypersensitivity can make it difficult to learn from your mistakes, accept feedback gracefully, or maintain healthy relationships.
15. You have a hard time letting go of negative thoughts and emotions.
You tend to hold on to negative thoughts and emotions, replaying them in your head and allowing them to fester. You may even engage in self-sabotaging behaviours as a way to punish yourself for your perceived flaws or mistakes. This negativity can become a self-fulfilling prophecy, attracting more negative experiences into your life and making it difficult to break free from the cycle of overthinking.
16. You struggle with perfectionism and set unrealistic expectations for yourself.
Source: Unsplash You strive for perfection in everything you do, setting impossibly high standards for yourself and other people. You’re never satisfied with your accomplishments, always feeling like you could have done better. This relentless pursuit of perfection can lead to stress, anxiety, and a constant feeling of inadequacy. It can also prevent you from taking risks, trying new things, or simply enjoying the process of learning and growing.
How to stop overthinking
Admittedly, learning how to stop overthinking isn’t an overnight process. In reality, it takes a lot of time and effort to break the harmful patterns you’ve fallen into over the years. However, the good news is that is possible to stop your racing mind and get some peace again. Here’s how.
1. Distract yourself.
It seems silly, but as Healthline explains, it really works. When you find your mind spiralling on a particular problem, person, or thought, find something else to occupy your brain. This stops the fixation in its tracks and allows you to focus on something (anything!) else.
2. Get familiar with mindfulness techniques.
Source: Unsplash It may sound a little new age, but mindfulness involves living with intentionality and thoughtfulness. Of course, you’re trying to stop overthinking here, so this isn’t about getting caught in another never-ending loop. Instead, it means recognising your patterns and what’s driving them, then using techniques like journaling and meditation to get to the bottom of why you’re struggling so much.
3. Go help someone in need.
Source: Unsplash One of the easiest ways to get out of your own head is to focus on someone else. There are so many people in need in the world (and even in your local community) in a variety of ways. Getting out there and lending a helping hand is a great way to make a difference AND stop overthinking.
4. Give yourself a break.
Source: Unsplash You’re not going to be able to stop overthinking immediately, and there will be times when you’ll go down a rabbit hole that feels impossible to get out of. Don’t be too hard on yourself about it. Practise makes perfect, as they say. You’re working on it, and that’s enough.
5. Get help from a professional if you need it.
Source: Unsplash There’s no shame in seeing a therapist if you find that none of the techniques you’re trying on your own are working. Mental health professionals specialise in helping reform negative behaviour patterns and can do a world of good.
