When you’ve been with someone for a long time, the thought of being on your own can be scary.
You might know that your relationship is toxic and draining and that you need out. However, the idea of walking away from it and having to be alone is so overwhelming that you end up staying long past the connection’s sell-by date. Here are some signs you’re only still with your partner because you think it’s better than the alternative of being with no one at all.
1. You feel miserable more than you feel happy.
If you spend more time feeling down or stressed than you do feeling good, it could be a sign that the relationship isn’t fulfilling. Happiness should be the core of a healthy connection. Staying despite ongoing unhappiness might mean you’re holding on out of fear. True contentment comes from relationships that lift you up.
2. You avoid thinking about the future.
If picturing the future with your partner doesn’t bring excitement or a sense of peace, there may be underlying doubts. Sometimes, staying in the moment feels easier because long-term plans feel uncertain or forced. This avoidance can keep you from making decisions that align with what you truly want. Facing the future can help you see if this relationship fits into it.
3. You constantly make excuses for their behaviour.
If you’re often justifying or downplaying their actions to friends or family, it might be a sign that something’s off. Making excuses is sometimes a way to avoid facing uncomfortable truths about the relationship. Repeatedly covering for them can be exhausting and prevent real change. Healthy relationships don’t need constant explaining.
4. You’re afraid of starting over.
The thought of starting from scratch with someone new can feel overwhelming. It’s normal to feel nervous about change, but staying just because it’s familiar may keep you stuck. Moving forward, even if it’s scary, can lead to growth and new possibilities. Staying out of comfort often means settling.
5. You rely on your partner for all your emotional needs.
If your partner is the only source of emotional support in your life, it might create a sense of dependence. This dynamic can make it hard to imagine being on your own, even if the relationship isn’t satisfying. Building a broader support system can help you feel more independent. Relying on multiple sources for support creates balance.
6. You downplay your own needs.
If you’re consistently putting your partner’s needs above your own, it might be out of a fear of rocking the boat. Feeling like your needs are secondary can lead to resentment over time. A healthy relationship respects both people’s wants and needs. Prioritising yourself sometimes is necessary for genuine happiness.
7. You feel relief when they’re not around.
If you often feel more at ease or relaxed when they’re not around, it could be a sign that the relationship is weighing on you. Spending time apart shouldn’t feel like a break from stress or tension. Paying attention to this feeling can be a clue about your true happiness. Relationships should bring comfort, not just relief when you’re alone.
8. You feel stuck in a routine.
If you’re staying because it’s what you’re used to, rather than what you truly want, it might be time to reassess. Routines are comfortable, but they can sometimes mask deeper feelings of dissatisfaction. Breaking out of a routine can be daunting, but it opens up new perspectives. A fulfilling relationship should feel active, not just familiar.
9. You feel insecure or undervalued.
Feeling like you’re not appreciated or that you’re always second-best can take a toll on your self-worth. Staying in a situation that leaves you feeling small may reflect a fear of being on your own. Recognising your worth can help you pursue relationships that value you. Self-respect is a cornerstone of a healthy partnership.
10. You don’t feel emotionally safe.
If you don’t feel free to express yourself without fear of judgment or conflict, it’s hard to grow within the relationship. Emotional safety is essential for trust and openness. Staying despite feeling restricted might signal fear of the unknown. Looking for a relationship where you feel understood and safe is worth the effort.
11. You ignore red flags.
If you overlook behaviour that doesn’t sit well with you, it could be because you don’t want to face the possibility of leaving. Ignoring these signs can lead to deeper issues and make you feel trapped. Acknowledging red flags is the first step in understanding what’s really best for you. Staying aware of your instincts can guide you toward healthier choices.
12. You feel isolated from friends or family.
If your relationship has gradually pulled you away from close connections, it might be time to have a closer look. Isolation can make it easier to stay, but it also makes it harder to see the full picture. Reconnecting with loved ones can provide perspective and support. Strong relationships outside of your partner are essential for balance.
13. You doubt your ability to find someone else.
Fear of not finding another partner can keep you in a situation that doesn’t make you happy. Believing that this is your only option often leads to settling for less than you deserve. Building confidence in yourself can shift this mindset. Trusting in your own worth opens up more fulfilling possibilities.
14. You feel responsible for their happiness.
If you stay because you’re worried about how they’d handle a breakup, you might be putting their needs above your own well-being. Taking on responsibility for their emotions can keep you tied to a situation that isn’t right for you. Recognising that everyone is responsible for their own happiness can help you make choices that serve you. Looking after yourself is just as important as caring for other people.
15. You don’t feel motivated to improve the relationship.
If you’ve stopped trying to work on things or don’t feel interested in solving issues, it might be a sign that the connection has run its course. A lack of motivation often reflects a deeper feeling of disinterest. Being honest about these feelings can help you make the best choice for both of you. Growth happens when both people are invested.
16. You stay because of fear, not love.
If the main reason you’re in the relationship is that you’re afraid of being alone, it’s worth asking if it’s fulfilling your emotional needs. Love should be the foundation, not fear. Being single can be an opportunity to learn more about yourself and what you truly want. Finding peace within yourself often leads to stronger connections in the future.
