Toxic people have the uncanny ability to live rent-free in your brain, but it doesn’t have to be that way.
If they’re someone you can’t just cut out completely — maybe they’re a family member or a colleague you have to see at work every day — then managing and maintaining your sanity in their presence should be your number one priority. Protecting your peace is paramount, and doing these things will go a long way in helping you do so.
1. Accept that you can’t change their behaviour.
It’s tempting to think you can make them see the error of their ways, but that’s a losing battle. You’ll save a lot of energy by realising their toxicity isn’t yours to fix. Instead, focus on how you can manage your reactions and set boundaries. It’s about controlling what you can — which is you, not them.
2. Keep your emotional distance, even when you’re near them.
Just because you have to be around them doesn’t mean you need to let them invade your mind. Imagine a mental bubble separating you from their nonsense. The less you let their words or actions affect your emotions, the less power they have over you. They might still talk or act negatively, but your inner peace stays untouched.
3. Master the art of brief, polite responses.
Toxic people often love drawing you into arguments or drama. When you reply with short, neutral responses like “Hmm,” “That’s interesting,” or “I see,” you take away their fuel. It makes you less of a target and helps you maintain your composure. Plus, it’s a subtle way of showing them their tactics don’t work on you.
4. Set firm boundaries and stick to them.
If they’re always overstepping, it’s time to make your boundaries crystal clear. Say things like, “I’m not comfortable discussing that,” or “I need you to respect my space.” And here’s the key — enforce those boundaries. Toxic people will test your limits, so be consistent. It’s like teaching a dog new tricks, but with slightly less charm involved.
5. Stop giving them the benefit of the doubt.
We all want to believe people can change, but with toxic individuals, it’s okay to accept that they may never get better. That doesn’t make you pessimistic, it makes you realistic. When you stop expecting them to act differently, you avoid disappointment and frustration. Lowering those expectations can be weirdly liberating.
6. Use humour to diffuse their negativity.
Source: Unsplash Sometimes the best way to neutralise a toxic person is to sprinkle a bit of humour into the mix. If they’re moaning about something trivial, a light-hearted joke can disarm their negativity. It’s not about making fun of them, just about keeping the mood light and showing their toxicity isn’t getting to you. Plus, a good laugh can do wonders for your stress levels.
7. Don’t get hooked by their bait.
Source: Unsplash Toxic people are masters at pushing buttons. They know exactly what to say to wind you up. The trick is to see their bait for what it is — a trap. Pause before responding, take a deep breath, and remind yourself you don’t have to play their game. Not biting is a power move that leaves them frustrated and you feeling smugly calm.
8. Limit how much time you spend with them.
Source: Unsplash If someone is driving you bonkers, it’s perfectly fine to put them on a time limit. Think of it as budgeting your energy. You wouldn’t spend all your money on something that makes you miserable, so why waste time? Reduce interactions where you can, and when you can’t, keep them short and sweet.
9. Develop a mental checklist of calming thoughts.
When they’re in full toxic mode, having a go-to list of calming thoughts can save your sanity. Think of things like “This isn’t permanent,” “Their drama isn’t my problem,” or even “In 10 years, this won’t matter.” These reminders keep you grounded and help you detach emotionally. It’s like having a mental first-aid kit for your patience.
10. Find an outlet for your frustrations.
Dealing with toxicity can leave you feeling like a shaken soda bottle. You need to release that pressure. Whether it’s a rant to a friend, a workout session, or smashing pillows (hey, no judgment), letting off steam helps you reset. Once you’ve vented, their toxicity feels a little less potent.
11. Remember, it’s not about you — it’s about them.
Toxic people project their own insecurities and issues onto other people. When they lash out, it’s usually a reflection of their own struggles, not yours. Remind yourself that their behaviour says more about them than it does about you. It’s their circus, their monkeys — you’re just an unwilling spectator.
12. Practise the fine art of ignoring.
Sometimes, the best strategy is to channel your inner zen master and ignore them. Toxic people thrive on attention, so when you stop reacting, they lose interest. It’s like starving a fire of oxygen — eventually, it fizzles out. Plus, there’s something incredibly satisfying about calmly carrying on while they implode.
13. Surround yourself with people who lift you up.
Counteract their toxicity by filling your life with people who bring positive energy. Spend more time with friends, family, or colleagues who make you laugh and feel valued. The more you focus on these healthy relationships, the less impact that toxic person has. Good vibes always outshine the bad ones.
14. Visualise a protective shield around you.
This might sound a bit woo-woo, but it works. Picture yourself surrounded by an invisible shield that deflects negativity. Their toxic words and actions bounce right off, leaving you unscathed. It’s a bit like being a superhero, but with less spandex and more emotional resilience. Give it a try — your mind is more powerful than you think.
15. Give yourself permission to walk away.
You don’t have to stick around for toxic behaviour. If things get too much, it’s perfectly fine to say, “I’m done,” and leave. Whether it’s physically leaving the room or ending a toxic friendship, walking away is a statement that you value your peace. Sometimes, the healthiest response is simply to remove yourself.
