Sometimes people don’t come right out and say they have an issue with you, but their behaviour can speak volumes.
While, as mature adults, they should be willing to have a frank conversation and talk things out rather than stewing privately, that often doesn’t happen. And no matter how slick they think they’re being with hiding their real feelings, it’s often obvious if you know what you’re looking for. Here are just a few signs that someone’s holding a grudge, feeling irked, or just not your biggest fan.
1. Their smile doesn’t quite reach their eyes.
Source: Unsplash They might flash a smile, but it feels more forced than genuine. Their mouth says “friendly,” but their eyes say “I’d rather not.” If their smiles seem tight or vanish quickly, it could be a sign of underlying resentment. You know, the kind of smile you give when you’re trying to be polite but really can’t be bothered.
2. They respond with one-word answers.
When someone’s got an issue with you, their replies start sounding like they’re on a word count budget. Instead of engaging in full conversations, they hit you with a flat “Yep,” “Fine,” or “Cool.” It’s like pulling teeth to get more out of them, and you’re left wondering what you did to deserve the cold shoulder.
3. Their body language faces away from you.
If they constantly turn their shoulders or feet away when you’re talking, it’s like their whole body is trying to escape. They might cross their arms, lean back, or avoid eye contact. It’s subtle, but their posture is doing everything it can to signal, “I’m not interested in this interaction.”
4. They frequently “forget” to include you.
Whether it’s a group chat, an invite to lunch, or a team meeting, somehow you’re always the one left out. When you ask about it, they act surprised or offer a vague excuse like, “Oh, I thought you knew!” Chances are, that ‘forgetfulness’ isn’t so innocent after all.
5. They give you backhanded compliments.
Comments like, “You’re braver than I’d be wearing that,” or “You actually did a good job this time!” sound positive at first, but they carry a sting. It’s their way of getting a dig in while pretending to be nice. If compliments leave you scratching your head, their intentions might not be pure.
6. They barely laugh at your jokes.
Even if you’re cracking your best material, they give you a half-hearted chuckle or a polite smile. If they laugh at everyone else’s jokes but suddenly go silent when you try to be funny, there’s probably a reason. It’s a subtle way to show they’re not really on your side.
7. They find ways to correct you — constantly.
They love pointing out your mistakes, even the tiniest ones. Maybe you mispronounce a word or get a minor detail wrong, and they’re quick to jump in with a correction. It’s less about helping you and more about showing they’re one step ahead. It feels like a subtle power play because, well, it probably is.
8. They’re unusually slow to respond to you.
When you message or email them, it feels like you’ve entered a black hole. They respond quickly to everyone else, but when it’s you, they’re suddenly ‘busy’ or ‘forgot.’ Delayed replies are their way of saying you’re not a priority without having to say it outright.
9. They interrupt you mid-sentence.
When someone keeps cutting you off, it’s more than just bad manners — it’s a sign they don’t value what you’re saying. If they do it repeatedly, they’re subtly telling you, “My thoughts matter more than yours.” Not exactly the friendliest vibe.
10. They give you the infamous eye roll.
It might be a quick, almost imperceptible roll, but you catch it. An eye roll says, “I’m over this” without them needing to say a word. If you spot them doing it after your comments or suggestions, it’s a pretty clear signal they’re not feeling you.
11. They avoid making direct plans with you.
You suggest grabbing a coffee or catching up, and they’re suddenly “super swamped” or “we’ll see!” But with other people, they’re free as a bird. If they consistently dodge one-on-one time, they might not be keen on spending more time together.
12. They always find ways to minimise your achievements.
You share good news, and instead of congratulating you, they say something like, “That’s not that hard,” or “Anyone could do that.” It’s like they’re determined not to let you enjoy your moment. If they can’t celebrate your wins, it says more about them than you.
13. They mirror you — but in a passive-aggressive way.
If you say something in a certain tone or gesture, they copy it mockingly. It’s like they’re playing a twisted game of ‘Simon Says’ to highlight your flaws. It’s subtle, but you feel the sting, and it’s definitely not playful banter.
14. They leave you out of small talk.
They chat freely with everyone else about their weekend plans or latest shows, but with you, it’s strictly business. If their conversations with you are all surface-level or non-existent, it’s a low-key sign they’re keeping you at arm’s length.
15. They avoid physical contact — even the casual kind.
No friendly pats on the shoulder or cheeky high-fives. They steer clear of even the most basic social gestures. If everyone else gets a friendly hug, and you get a nod from a distance, that’s a sign they’re not feeling particularly warm towards you.
16. They’re polite, but it’s a bit too formal.
Their “Hi, how are you?” sounds more robotic than warm. They keep conversations stiff and professional, even if you’re in a casual setting. It’s like they’re putting a barrier between you, and that barrier is made of cold politeness.
17. They suddenly go quiet when you enter a room.
You walk in, and the lively conversation takes a nosedive. It’s not paranoia — people who have an issue with you often find it hard to maintain their usual chatty vibe when you’re around. It feels awkward, and that’s because it probably is.
