If you’re holding out for the kind of love in ‘The Notebook’ or some other romantic comedy, I’m sorry to tell you, but it’s never going to happen.
Not only are real-life relationships a whole lot messier, they’re much more nuanced, complex, and better. You need to adjust your expectations, which should be easier once you realise that the best partnerships are actually with someone who does these things.
1. They actually listen to you, even when you’re rambling about something trivial.
They put their phone down, make eye contact, and genuinely listen to what you have to say, no matter how big or small. They make you feel heard and understood, even when you’re just venting about your day or sharing a silly story. This active listening creates a deep sense of connection and makes you feel valued.
2. They make you laugh, even on your worst days.
Laughter is the best medicine, as they say, and they know just how to bring a smile to your face, even when you’re feeling down. They’re great at finding the humour in everyday situations and making you laugh until your sides hurt. Their laughter is infectious and reminds you that even in tough times, there’s always something to smile about.
3. They support your dreams and aspirations, big and small.
They believe in your potential and encourage you to pursue your goals and passions. They’re your biggest cheerleader, offering words of encouragement, practical support, and a listening ear when you need it. They celebrate your successes and offer comfort during your setbacks.
4. They challenge you to grow and become the best version of yourself.
They inspire you to get uncomfortable, try new things, and push your boundaries. They challenge your assumptions, encourage you to think critically, and help you see the world from different perspectives. Their presence in your life motivates you to become a better person.
5. They respect your boundaries and give you space when you need it.
They understand that everyone needs alone time and personal space. They don’t take it personally when you need to recharge or spend time with friends and family. They respect your boundaries and trust that you’ll come back to them when you’re ready.
6. They make you feel safe and secure, both emotionally and physically.
You feel comfortable being vulnerable and sharing your deepest thoughts and feelings with them. They create a safe space where you can be yourself without fear of judgement or rejection. They also make you feel physically safe and protected, offering a sense of security and stability.
7. They prioritise quality time with you and make you feel like a priority in their life.
They make an effort to spend meaningful time with you, even when life gets busy. They plan date nights, initiate conversations, and find ways to connect on a deeper level. They make you feel like you’re a priority in their life, not an afterthought.
8. They’re honest and transparent with you, even when it’s difficult.
They communicate openly and honestly, even when it’s uncomfortable or challenging. They don’t hide their feelings or keep secrets from you. They build trust through transparency and vulnerability, creating a strong foundation for a lasting relationship.
9. They accept you for who you are, flaws and all.
They love you unconditionally, embracing your quirks, your strengths, and your vulnerabilities. They don’t try to change you or mould you into someone you’re not. They appreciate your unique personality and celebrate your individuality. Their acceptance makes you feel safe to be your true self.
10. They make you feel seen, heard, and understood.
They pay attention to the little things, noticing your moods, your preferences, and your unspoken needs. They validate your feelings, acknowledge your accomplishments, and make you feel like you matter. Their attentiveness makes you feel deeply connected and cherished.
11. They’re your biggest fan and believe in your potential.
They see the best in you, even when you doubt yourself. They encourage you to pursue your dreams, challenge yourself, and step outside your comfort zone. Their unwavering belief in you inspires you to reach for the stars and become the best version of yourself.
12. They’re forgiving and understanding, even when you make mistakes.
They recognise that everyone makes mistakes, and they don’t hold grudges or dwell on the past. They offer forgiveness and understanding, creating a safe space for you to learn and grow. Their compassion and grace make you feel loved and accepted, even when you stumble.
13. They’re playful and fun-loving, bringing laughter and joy into your life.
They know how to have a good time and make you laugh. They’re not afraid to be silly, spontaneous, or adventurous. They bring lightness and joy into your life, reminding you to not take things too seriously and to embrace the fun side of life.
14. They’re reliable and dependable, always there for you when you need them.
You can count on them to be there for you, through thick and thin. They keep their promises, show up when they say they will, and offer unwavering support during challenging times. Their reliability and dependability create a sense of security and trust in the relationship.
15. They make you feel loved, cherished, and appreciated every day.
They express their love through words, actions, and gestures, both big and small. They make you feel like you’re the most important person in their world. Their love is a constant source of warmth and comfort, reminding you that you’re special and deserving of happiness.
