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UnsplashThe most skilled persuaders aren’t loud or controlling. Their tactics are subtle, and they work by making you feel like you’re reaching your own conclusions. Below are some of the more nuanced techniques they use that make them masters of influence.
1. They make you feel truly heard and understood.
Persuasive people possess a superpower – they make you feel genuinely listened to. They maintain eye contact, rephrase your points to confirm understanding, and their interest in your opinions feels authentic. This builds trust from the get-go and makes you inherently more receptive to their point of view later on.
2. They frame their requests as beneficial for YOU.
Instead of pushing their own agenda, masters of persuasion focus on how the other person will benefit from agreeing. Whether it’s negotiating with a client or convincing their partner to try a new restaurant, they skillfully emphasize the positive outcome for the other person, making their request feel like an opportunity rather than a burden.
3. They start with small “yeses” to build momentum.
Persuasive people understand the power of tiny wins. Instead of starting with the big ask, they begin with smaller agreements to get you nodding along. They might ask questions phrased to elicit a “yes” or present choices that both lead towards their desired outcome. Each small affirmation conditions you to be more agreeable when the main negotiation begins.
4. They don’t shy away from social proof.
Testimonials, statistics, or citing respected experts all subtly sway opinions in their favor. Humans are social creatures, and knowing that others, especially those we deem credible, already support an idea makes it inherently more appealing. Persuasive people strategically use social proof to add legitimacy to their pitch.
5. They cultivate genuine likability.
We’re more likely to agree with people we like. Charisma, warmth, and the ability to find common ground go a long way in persuasion. Persuasive people aren’t always extroverts, but they possess a certain authenticity that makes them relatable and fosters a positive connection that smooths the path for their requests.
6. They aren’t afraid to create a sense of urgency.
“Limited-time offer,” “Last few seats,” or highlighting the opportunity cost of waiting all instill a sense of urgency in decision-making. Persuasive people understand human psychology – we want what feels scarce and loathe missing out. When used subtly, this technique can push people towards faster action without feeling overly pushy.
7. They know when to be silent.
After making their pitch, persuasive people often use silence strategically. This allows the other person the space to process, voice their objections, and potentially talk themselves into agreeing. Rushing to fill the silence with further arguments can actually backfire, making them feel pressured rather than persuaded.
8. They are masters of storytelling.
Data and facts are important, but it’s stories that stir emotions and become truly memorable. Persuasive people weave vivid narratives to illustrate their points. They paint pictures with their words, using anecdotes and examples to bring their ideas to life and make them resonate on a deeper level.
9. They tailor their approach based on who they’re dealing with.
There’s no one-size-fits-all persuasion tactic. Highly persuasive people are perceptive, picking up on personality cues and adjusting their style accordingly. They might emphasize logic with a more analytical person, focus on emotional appeals with someone highly empathetic, or mirror the communication style of their counterpart to build rapport.
10. They exude quiet confidence but not arrogance.
Confidence is contagious, but overbearing arrogance repels. Highly persuasive people find that sweet spot, demonstrating belief in their ideas without coming across as pushy or condescending. Their calm assertiveness inspires trust and signals that their pitch is worth considering seriously.
11. They don’t get thrown off by objections.
Persuasive people anticipate objections and have counterarguments ready. They don’t view objections as defeat but as opportunities to further address concerns and showcase the value of their proposal. Instead of becoming defensive, they acknowledge the other person’s perspective and then pivot towards reframing it.
12. They’re willing to walk away, at least temporarily.
Knowing when to temporarily back off is a powerful persuasion tool. It demonstrates that they aren’t desperate, gives the other person space to consider without pressure, and can sometimes even induce a fear of missing out that swings the negotiation back in their favor.
13. They focus on building long-term relationships, not just winning.
The most persuasive people understand it’s a long game. While closing a deal is important, they prioritize building genuine trust and leaving a positive impression. They want people to think of them favorably for future collaborations, knowing that pushy tactics can sour even a successful negotiation long-term.
