They say communication is key in relationships, and that’s obviously true.
However, sometimes it’s what couples don’t say can make all the difference in how things pan out for them long-term. When communication breaks down, relationships start to feel strained. Here just a few of the things the unhappiest couples avoid saying — and why you should say them more often if you want to keep your connection strong and healthy.
1. “I appreciate you.”
It’s easy to assume your partner knows you appreciate them, but saying it out loud matters. When you skip these words, your partner can start feeling taken for granted. A simple “Thank you for doing that” or “I appreciate everything you do” goes a long way in keeping the love alive. Even a quick text or a sticky note expressing gratitude can brighten their entire day.
2. “I’m sorry.”
The unhappiest couples dig their heels in, refusing to admit when they’re wrong. Owning up to your mistakes and apologising shows humility and respect. A heartfelt “I’m sorry” can defuse tension and show that the relationship matters more than your ego. It’s a simple gesture, but it can repair a lot of damage and keep resentment at bay.
3. “You were right.”
Let’s be honest — nobody likes being wrong. But acknowledging when your partner was right shows you value their input and perspective. It builds trust and reminds them that their opinions matter to you. Plus, sometimes they really *are* right! Giving them credit where it’s due can make them feel respected and understood.
4. “How are you really feeling?”
Surface-level check-ins like “You okay?” don’t always cut it. The happiest couples dig a little deeper. Asking how your partner is *really* feeling opens the door for honest conversations. Ignoring emotions, on the other hand, creates distance. Letting them know you genuinely care about their emotional state builds a stronger bond.
5. “I love you.”
It might seem obvious, but unhappy couples often forget to say these three magic words. Just because you’ve been together a long time doesn’t mean “I love you” loses its importance. Regular reminders keep the emotional connection strong. Saying it spontaneously, even during mundane moments, can make your partner feel cherished.
6. “I’m proud of you.”
Everyone likes to feel recognised, especially by their partner. When you say, “I’m proud of you,” you’re showing that you see their efforts and achievements. Unhappy couples often miss these opportunities for encouragement, which can leave a partner feeling unsupported. Celebrating even their small victories helps them feel seen and valued.
7. “Let’s figure this out together.”
Happy couples face challenges as a team. Saying, “Let’s figure this out together” reassures your partner that they’re not alone. Unhappy couples tend to tackle problems separately, making things feel more isolating than they need to be. Tackling challenges side by side reinforces the feeling that you’re a united front.
8. “I miss you.”
Even if you live together, expressing that you miss someone’s presence or connection keeps intimacy alive. Unhappy couples often let physical or emotional distance go unmentioned. A simple “I miss you” can reignite closeness. It reminds your partner that their presence truly matters to you, even when life gets busy.
9. “What can I do to help?”
Unhappy couples often wait for their partner to ask for help instead of offering it freely. Asking, “What can I do to help?” shows you care and are willing to lighten their load. It’s a small phrase that creates a sense of teamwork and consideration. Proactively offering help can prevent burnout and make your partner feel supported.
10. “I need some space.”
Believe it or not, this one’s healthy. The happiest couples know that everyone needs a little breathing room now and then. Instead of withdrawing silently, they communicate the need for space. It avoids confusion or hurt feelings and keeps things clear. When handled with honesty, a bit of space can actually bring you closer.
11. “You make me happy.”
In long-term relationships, it’s easy to forget to express how much joy your partner brings you. Unhappy couples keep these thoughts to themselves. A simple “You make me happy” reminds your partner that they’re a positive force in your life. It reinforces the fact that their presence makes your world a little brighter.
12. “I trust you.”
Trust is the backbone of any happy relationship. Saying it out loud reinforces that trust and creates a sense of security. Unhappy couples avoid this phrase, often because doubts are lingering. Addressing trust directly can help clear the air. It reassures your partner that you believe in them and the relationship.
13. “Let’s do something fun together.”
Routine can kill romance. Unhappy couples get stuck in a rut and stop making plans for fun. Suggesting, “Let’s do something fun together” brings back the excitement and spontaneity. It reminds you both that you’re more than just housemates. Creating new memories together helps keep the relationship fresh and vibrant.
14. “I respect your opinion.”
Disagreements happen, but unhappy couples dismiss each other’s views. Saying, “I respect your opinion” keeps arguments from turning ugly. It shows you can disagree without disrespecting each other. A little validation goes a long way. Respecting your partner’s perspective shows you value their thoughts, even if you don’t always agree.
15. “You look great.”
Compliments shouldn’t stop after the honeymoon phase. Unhappy couples often forget to say nice things about each other’s appearance. A quick “You look great” or “That outfit suits you” boosts confidence and keeps the spark alive. A little flattery can go a long way in making your partner feel attractive and appreciated.
16. “I’m listening.”
Nothing feels worse than talking to someone who’s clearly tuned out. Unhappy couples often fall into this trap. Saying, “I’m listening” — and actually meaning it — shows your partner that their words matter. It makes them feel heard and valued. Active listening can turn small conversations into meaningful moments of connection.
