Happiness doesn’t mean ignoring reality or avoiding challenges in life — it means embracing the good and the bad and finding joy in all of it.
Some people manage to find a sense of contentedness deep in their soup that’s just there, no matter what’s going on in their lives at the time. That’s not to say that they don’t feel stressed, sad, or even frustrated at times, but that their souls operate from a base level of happiness that helps them navigate it all with peace and a positive perspective. If you want to be more like these people, take a page from their book and don’t get caught up in these reductive and ultimately happiness-killing habits. You deserve better!
1. Dwelling on the past
Happy people don’t get stuck replaying mistakes or what-ifs. Sure, they remember the past, but they don’t let it drag them down. It’s so easy to get caught up in regrets and wonder what might have been. But the truth is, holding onto those thoughts only steals joy from the present. Instead of getting bogged down by what’s already happened, they focus on what they’ve learned. They carry on with a lighter heart because they know that what’s behind them doesn’t have to define what’s ahead. Letting go of the past makes space for new experiences and better opportunities.
2. Comparing themselves to anyone else
Constantly comparing yourself to someone else is a happiness killer. It’s hard not to look around and wonder why your life doesn’t seem as shiny as someone else’s, especially with social media around. But happy people know that comparing themselves to literally anyone else only creates unnecessary stress. They don’t get caught up in envy or wonder why their achievements don’t stack up. They know that their own journey is unique and deserves to be celebrated. Instead of looking at what someone else has achieved, they focus on their own path and what they’ve accomplished so far. Everyone’s got their own highs and lows, and it’s about recognising that your journey is just as important as anyone else’s. When you stop comparing, it’s amazing how much more you can appreciate what you’re doing.
3. Holding grudges
Clinging to anger or resentment is like dragging around a heavy bag. It doesn’t weigh down the person who hurt you – it just drags you down. These people know the power of letting go. Forgiveness isn’t about letting someone off the hook; it’s about freeing yourself from that emotional weight. They understand that holding a grudge can affect their peace, so they choose to forgive – not for the other person, but for their own mental health. Letting go of resentment allows them to stay focused on the good stuff and keeps negativity from running the show. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it. You’ll feel lighter and more in control of your emotions when you stop holding onto the past.
4. Saying yes to everything
People who are happy know their limits. They don’t say yes to things just because they feel bad saying no. Overcommitting can lead to burnout, and they get that. Saying no might feel awkward sometimes, but these people understand that agreeing to too much can leave them feeling drained. They protect their time and energy by saying no when they need to. This way, they make sure they can fully dedicate themselves to the things that truly matter to them. It’s not about being selfish – it’s about recognising their own needs and making choices that will keep them feeling balanced. By not overcommitting, they make sure they have the time and energy to enjoy the things that really bring them joy.
5. Chasing perfection
Perfect doesn’t exist, and they know that. They don’t waste their time chasing something that’s unattainable. The pressure to be perfect can be overwhelming, and happy people realise it only leads to frustration. Instead of stressing over perfection, they focus on making progress and enjoying the journey. They celebrate small wins and take pride in improvement, not perfection. This way, they stay grounded and enjoy the ride, rather than getting stuck on the idea of perfection. By focusing on progress rather than perfection, they often end up with better results anyway – because they’re enjoying the process rather than stressing about the outcome.
6. Worrying about things they can’t control
They don’t waste their energy stressing over things they can’t change. Worrying doesn’t fix anything; it just saps your energy and creates unnecessary anxiety. When you spend all your time thinking about things that are out of your hands, you miss out on the opportunity to focus on what you can control. These people accept that some things are just beyond their reach, and they let go of the worry. They put their energy into the things they can actually change, which gives them a sense of control and calm. This mindset helps them handle life’s challenges with clarity and confidence, knowing they’re focusing on what really matters.
7. Surrounding themselves with toxic people
They’re extremely picky about who they spend time with. They don’t surround themselves with people who are always negative or bringing drama. Life’s tough enough without adding that extra weight, right? They’d rather be around people who lift them up, make them laugh, and inspire them to be better. This doesn’t mean they cut people out at the first sign of trouble, but it’s about being mindful of how certain people affect their mood. They protect their peace by choosing to spend time with the right people – those who encourage them to grow and who make their life better, not more stressful.
8. Overthinking every decision they make instead of going with it
Constantly second-guessing yourself can be exhausting. They know this and try not to overthink things. They make decisions based on what they know, trust their gut, and move on. Not every decision has to be perfect, and they understand that. This mindset helps them avoid unnecessary stress and keep things moving forward without getting stuck in endless “what ifs.” They know that life isn’t all about having every answer, and sometimes it’s okay to take a step forward without knowing exactly what’s going to happen. By trusting themselves, they keep things simple and stay focused on what’s next.
9. Not looking after themselves properly
Happy people make time for themselves. They know that looking after their body and mind isn’t a luxury – it’s a necessity. Whether it’s going for a walk, reading a book, or just relaxing, they make sure to recharge. Self-care isn’t just about pampering – it’s about maintaining a healthy balance so they can handle life’s challenges. By prioritising their own health and wellness, they’re able to show up as their best selves, both for themselves and for the people they care about. Making self-care a part of your routine means you’re better equipped to stay positive and deal with whatever comes your way.
10. Avoiding their emotions
Pretending to be fine when you’re not doesn’t help anyone, and they don’t bottle up their emotions. They take the time to feel what they’re feeling and deal with it. Ignoring your emotions might seem easier at first, but it always catches up with you. Happy people face their feelings head-on, knowing that emotional honesty helps them process tough situations without lingering negativity. It’s not about being happy all the time – it’s about dealing with emotions in a healthy way, so they don’t weigh you down. By letting themselves feel and work through emotions, they clear the path for lasting happiness.
11. Living for other people’s approval
They don’t make decisions based on what they think other people want. They know that their worth isn’t defined by someone else’s opinion. It’s easy to get caught up in seeking approval, but these people focus on what’s important to them. They make choices that align with their own values and goals, not someone else’s. This self-assuredness means they can walk their own path, even if it’s not what everyone else would choose. By valuing their own perspective, they create a life that feels authentic and fulfilling.
12. Taking life too seriously
They know when to lighten up. They don’t get so caught up in life’s pressures that they forget to have fun. Laughter, play, and enjoying the little things are a big part of their lives. Life’s way too short to be serious all the time. This doesn’t mean they ignore their responsibilities – it just means they strike a balance and don’t let stress run the show. By keeping things in perspective and allowing themselves to relax, they create a more enjoyable experience and keep life from feeling like a constant grind.
13. Complaining about everything
Constant complaining is a quick way to drain your energy. Happy people know this, so they focus on solutions instead of getting stuck in negativity. Complaining doesn’t solve problems – it just amplifies them. When things go wrong, they look for ways to make them better, or they let go of the small stuff. They’ve learned that focusing on what’s going right helps them stay positive and feel more in control. It’s not about ignoring challenges, but about putting your energy into things that help you move forward.
14. Forgetting to be grateful
Gratitude is key to happiness, and they don’t take the good things in their life for granted. They make a habit of noticing what they’re grateful for, big or small. It could be a nice cup of coffee, a kind word, or a good day at work. This mindset helps them focus on what they have, rather than what they’re missing. Even when life gets tough, finding reasons to feel thankful makes all the difference in keeping their outlook positive. Gratitude shifts the focus from what’s lacking to what’s abundant, and that makes everything feel a bit brighter.
