For people with ADHD, socialising can be hard.
It’s not that they’re inept, they can just be a bit awkward and find it hard to translate their neurodivergence into a language, both verbal and non-verbal, that translates well to other people. As a result, they sometimes say things they don’t mean — or rather, things they do mean but aren’t 100% true. If you know someone with ADHD or have it yourself, you’ll probably recognise many of these!
1. “I’ll get to it later, I promise!”
This feels true in the moment because ADHD brains often rely on intention over action. The plan is there; it just doesn’t always translate to follow-through. The disconnect lies in how ADHD affects task initiation and prioritisation, so “later” often slips into “never.” It’s not about laziness or avoidance—it’s about how hard it can be to turn thoughts into action, especially when competing tasks demand attention.
2. “I’m listening, I swear!”
The intention is absolutely there, but distractions happen mid-conversation—sometimes without the person even realising. They process information differently, so while they may genuinely care about what’s being said, staying fully engaged can feel like trying to tune a fuzzy radio station. They’re not ignoring anyone on purpose; their mind is just juggling too many tabs at once, which makes focus a constant challenge.
3. “I totally remembered that!”
Source: Unsplash ADHD and memory can be a tricky pairing. Sometimes they genuinely think they remembered, only to realise later they’ve forgotten something important. Other times, this phrase comes out as a way to save face in the moment. People with this condition are great at retaining random, interesting information but often struggle with time-sensitive details. It’s not about being careless—it’s a frustrating aspect of how their brain processes memory and recall.
4. “I didn’t forget, I just haven’t had time yet.”
For someone with ADHD, this isn’t an excuse—it’s often a genuine attempt to explain why something hasn’t been done. Time blindness, a common ADHD trait, makes it difficult to judge how long something will take or how much time has passed since it was first mentioned. What feels like a quick postponement to them might seem like a blatant delay to others. It’s not that they don’t care—it’s that time doesn’t always feel linear.
5. “Just give me five more minutes.”
This comes from a mix of optimism and underestimating time. They’re hopeful that they can finish a task quickly, but those five minutes often stretch into much longer. It’s not an attempt to stall; it’s simply hard for them to pull away when hyperfocus kicks in or when their brain struggles to transition from one task to another. They genuinely believe they’re nearly done—until they’re not.
6. “I’ll remember it this time, I promise.”
There’s genuine determination behind this statement, but they often need external tools like reminders, alarms, or sticky notes to follow through. Without them, intentions fall by the wayside, no matter how heartfelt they are. Forgetting doesn’t mean they’re not trying; it’s simply a by-product of how ADHD impacts working memory. The promise isn’t meant to mislead—it’s a hope that this time will be different.
7. “Wait, what were we talking about?”
ADHD conversations can feel like detours on a road trip—interesting but often far from the original point. This phrase pops up when their mind has wandered off, usually without them realising. It’s not about disinterest, but rather how easily their attention can be pulled in multiple directions. The effort to refocus is real, even if the distractions win out occasionally.
8. “I’m so sorry I’m late!”
Time management is one of the biggest hurdles for adults with ADHD, and being late is often a constant struggle. It’s not about a lack of respect or effort—it’s that transitions and preparation often take longer than anticipated. Despite their best intentions, time blindness and last-minute rushes often lead to tardiness. The apology is always genuine because they hate being late as much as anyone else.
9. “I’ll do it right after this.”
This feels like a way to buy time, but the reality is that once the current task is finished, the next one might not happen. They’re excellent at hyperfocusing on one thing but often struggle to transition seamlessly to the next. It’s not procrastination in the traditional sense—it’s a genuine difficulty in switching gears, even when the intention is there.
10. “I didn’t mean to interrupt, I just got excited.”
Blurting out thoughts mid-conversation happens because they often process ideas rapidly and worry they’ll forget them. It’s not about impatience—it’s about the urgency of getting the thought out before it vanishes. While they don’t mean to disrupt, their excitement sometimes overrides their impulse control. It’s a habit born out of enthusiasm, not disrespect.
11. “I’ll definitely finish it this time.”
They love the thrill of starting something new but can struggle to sustain motivation through the middle stages. This phrase reflects genuine optimism, but the reality is that follow-through requires strategies to stay engaged. They’re not making empty promises—they’re battling the mental hurdles that make task completion a challenge.
12. “I know I said that already, but…”
Repetition is common with ADHD because they often feel the need to reinforce their thoughts. It’s not about being annoying—it’s a way of holding on to an idea that feels important in the moment. Their brain processes information in loops, so saying things more than once helps them stay connected to their own train of thought.
13. “It’s not that I don’t care, I just forgot.”
Forgetting something important, like a birthday or meeting, feels awful to someone with ADHD. They know how it looks from the outside, but the reality is that their brain simply didn’t hold on to the information. It’s not a lack of care—it’s the frustrating way ADHD impacts memory and recall. They wish others could see how hard they’re trying, even when it doesn’t show.
14. “I’ll do it tomorrow when I have more time.”
This often comes from a place of hope that tomorrow will bring more focus or energy. They tend to overestimate future productivity, leading to a cycle of postponement. It’s not about laziness—it’s about the challenge of managing energy and motivation in the present moment while believing the future will feel easier.
15. “I didn’t realise how long I’d been doing this.”
Time flies when hyperfocus kicks in. People with ADHD can lose track of hours when they’re deeply engrossed in something they enjoy or find stimulating. It’s not an excuse—it’s a genuine surprise when they look up and realise how much time has passed. This time distortion can make everyday tasks tricky to manage.
16. “I know it’s last minute, but can we…?”
People with ADHD often thrive under pressure, which means they’re no strangers to last-minute plans or projects. This phrase pops out when inspiration strikes or deadlines loom. It’s not about being inconsiderate—it’s about how their brain often kicks into high gear only when the stakes are high. They’d love to plan ahead, but sometimes their best work happens on a tight timeline.
