We all want a healthy, happy relationship (or so we say!), but sometimes we unknowingly do things that sabotage our own happiness. If you want to create a truly fulfilling partnership, it’s important to be honest about habits that could be holding you back. Here are some behaviors to avoid if you want a strong, connected relationship.
1. Stop playing games.
Source: Unsplash Waiting a certain amount of time to text back, trying to make your partner jealous, or pretending you’re not interested when you really are — these kinds of silly games are immature and erode trust. Healthy relationships are built on honest communication, not manipulation. If you want a mature relationship, this is a must, The Knot explains.
2. Stop keeping score and holding grudges.
Source: Unsplash It’s natural to have disagreements. But constantly bringing up your partner’s past mistakes or tallying up who did more chores is corrosive. Healthy couples focus on resolving conflict and moving forward, not dwelling on the past.
3. Stop expecting your partner to mind-read.
Source: Unsplash Hoping they’ll magically know what you want or how you feel is a recipe for disappointment. Nobody can read minds! Be clear, direct, and assertive about communicating your needs in a respectful way. This fosters closeness, not resentment.
4. Stop avoiding difficult conversations.
Source: Unsplash Sweeping problems under the rug doesn’t make them disappear. Unresolved issues fester and create distance. It takes courage to address things head-on, but it’s the only way to work through conflict healthily and build a stronger bond.
5. Stop idealizing them or putting them on a pedestal.
Source: Unsplash Your partner is human – a wonderful, flawed, lovable human, just like you. Expecting perfection sets them up to fail and puts unrealistic pressure on the relationship. Celebrate their strengths, accept their flaws, and love the whole package.
6. Stop trying to control them.
Source: Unsplash Your partner isn’t a project to fix or mold into your ideal. Trying to change who they are at their core creates power struggles and resentment. Healthy relationships allow both partners space to be their authentic selves.
7. Stop comparing them to your exes (or anyone else).
Source: Unsplash Nothing good comes from comparing. It’s unfair to your partner and keeps you stuck on the past. Focus on the unique qualities you love in your current partner, instead of constantly measuring them against someone else.
8. Stop making assumptions about their intentions.
Source: Unsplash Did they leave those dishes in the sink to annoy you? Or did they just get distracted? Don’t read into things without checking in. Assuming bad intentions when your partner messes up creates conflict where there often is none. Give them the benefit of the doubt, and communicate directly instead of jumping to conclusions.
9. Stop needing to be right all the time.
Source: Unsplash Relationships aren’t about winning every argument — they’re about resolving issues, Long Island Psychology explains. Sometimes, understanding your partner’s perspective and finding a compromise is more important than being “right.” Healthy couples prioritize connection over being constantly right.
10. Stop catastrophizing.
Source: Unsplash If they forget to take out the trash, does it mean they don’t respect you? Turning every minor issue into a giant relationship crisis only fuels conflict and anxiety. Before jumping to the worst-case scenario, take a deep breath and consider alternate explanations.
11. Stop focusing on what they aren’t giving you.
Source: Unsplash Constantly harping on what your partner lacks or how they don’t measure up breeds negativity. Instead, practice gratitude for the positive they bring to your life. Focus on what is working in the relationship, not just where it falls short of unrealistic expectations.
12. Stop taking them for granted.
Source: Unsplash It’s easy to fall into complacency in long-term relationships. Show your partner you appreciate them! Acknowledge the little things they do, express your love, make time for quality connection, and never assume they know how much you care without showing it.
13. Stop stonewalling and giving the silent treatment.
Source: Unsplash Refusing to engage after an argument might feel easier in the moment, but it’s incredibly destructive. Stonewalling prevents conflict resolution, builds resentment, and makes your partner feel unseen and unheard. If you need a break to cool off, say that! But agree to revisit the issue later when you’re both calmer.
14. Stop snooping through their stuff.
Source: Unsplash Checking their phone, reading their emails, or going through their things behind their back is a massive breach of trust. If you have doubts or concerns, have an honest conversation, don’t resort to violating their privacy.
15. Stop letting others interfere in your relationship.
Source: Unsplash Getting advice from loved ones is fine, but venting to friends or family who constantly trash-talk your partner causes damage. It’s important for you and your partner to present a united front. Work on resolving issues together instead of allowing outside opinions to pit you against each other.
16. Stop neglecting the importance of time alone.
Source: Unsplash Spending every waking moment together isn’t healthy! Maintaining your own identities, interests, and friendships outside the relationship makes you a more well-rounded person and brings that richness to the partnership. It also helps you avoid codependency and makes the time you do spend together feel more special.
