The words you use to describe yourself shape your reality. Without even realizing it, you might be saying things that undermine your confidence, limit your potential, and hold you back from living your best life. You have to get rid of the negative self-talk and embrace a more empowering vocabulary. Start by banning these phrases from your vocabulary altogether.
1. “I’m not good enough.”
This simple phrase carries massive destructive power. Each time you say it, you reinforce a negative belief about yourself that limits your potential. Instead of focusing on perceived shortcomings, try “I’m still learning” or “I’m doing my best.” This acknowledges challenges while fostering a more positive, growth-oriented mindset, NPR notes.
2. “I always mess things up.”
We all make mistakes, but constantly defining yourself by them sets you up for self-sabotage. This kind of global, negative statement is inaccurate and fuels a vicious cycle of insecurity and doubt. Try being specific about your mistakes, focusing on what you can learn for the future, instead of dwelling on past slip-ups.
3. “I’m a burden to others.”
If you struggle with low self-worth, you might assume your needs, emotions, or even your presence is a burden on loved ones. Remember, healthy relationships are reciprocal. While it’s important to be considerate, don’t diminish your right to seek support or love; chances are your presence enriches those around you more than you know.
4. “I hate my (body, hair, personality, etc.).”
It’s okay to want to improve, but relentless self-criticism isn’t productive. Hating parts of yourself breeds insecurity and makes it difficult to enjoy your life to the fullest. Try shifting your focus from perceived flaws to things you appreciate about yourself, your talents, your kindness, even your sense of humor. Self-compassion is key to feeling good in your own skin.
5. “I’m too (shy, sensitive, emotional, etc.)…”
While acknowledging your personality traits is important for self-awareness, labeling yourself negatively creates limitations. People are complex and capable of change. Instead of saying “I’m too shy” try “Sometimes it’s hard for me to speak up, but I’m working on it”. Recognizing challenges without making them your entire identity leaves room for growth.
6. “I’ll never be able to do that.”
Defeatism before even trying shuts down possibilities. Instead of setting yourself up for failure, try “This seems challenging, but I’m going to give it a shot” or “What’s one small step I can take toward this goal?” A can-do attitude, even in the face of uncertainty, opens doors to learning and achievement.
7. “I’m lucky to have (my job, my partner, etc.).”
While gratitude is important, this phrase downplays your hard work and contributions. You deserve the good things in your life, not just through luck, but through your own effort and choices. Try saying “I’m grateful for…” which acknowledges the positive while also recognizing your own agency.
8. “Sorry for bothering you…”
Constantly apologizing for asking questions, seeking help, or even just existing sends the message that your needs are unimportant. A sincere apology is appropriate when you’ve truly inconvenienced someone, but not when simply expressing a need or taking up space in the world. Opt for a simple “thank you” instead.
9. “I don’t deserve (success, happiness, love, etc.).”
This deeply rooted belief stems from low self-worth and can sabotage your chances of finding what you crave. All humans are deserving of happiness. Don’t put conditions on your own joy. Instead of focusing on all the reasons why you’re unworthy, practice reminding yourself that you are enough.
10. “I’m just kidding” (after saying something hurtful)
Trying to dismiss mean-spirited comments as mere jokes minimizes the impact of your words. If you’ve hurt someone’s feelings, own up to it. A sincere apology is far more meaningful than backtracking with “just kidding.” Remember, it’s not about your intentions, it’s about the impact.
11. “I can’t…”
This phrase limits your possibilities before you even begin. Instead of jumping to “I can’t, try “I don’t know how yet.” This tiny shift keeps you focused on learning and growth instead of giving up without even trying.
12. “I could never pull that off.”
Don’t underestimate yourself! Comparing yourself to others can undermine your confidence and hold you back from taking risks or trying new things. Instead of focusing on someone else’s abilities, remind yourself of your own unique strengths and past accomplishments. Maybe THAT colorful haircut isn’t your style, but there’s something else out there that might suit you perfectly.
13. “It’s fine.” (When it’s really not)
It’s okay to not be okay sometimes. Bottling up emotions or pretending everything is fine can lead to resentment and damage relationships. Being honest about how you’re feeling is crucial to building trust and finding support. If you’re struggling, try saying “Actually, I’m not feeling great, could we talk?”
14. “I give up.”
Setbacks are inevitable, but giving up robs you of the satisfaction of overcoming challenges. Instead of throwing in the towel, try “This is harder than I thought, I need a break and then I’m trying again”. Persistence, not perfection, is the key to achieving your goals.
