Most relationships don’t just implode overnight — it’s a slow, meandering process that happens over a much longer period of time.
Many times, you might not even realise that you’re heading towards divorce because you’re not paying attention to the signs (or you’re ignoring them on purpose). Nevertheless, if any of these things are happening in your relationship, it won’t be long before one of you files the paperwork.
1. You’ve stopped sharing the little things in your day.
Communication is the heart of any relationship, so when you no longer feel the urge to tell your partner about the small moments in your day, it might be a sign of emotional disconnection. This could be anything from a funny incident at work to a new song you’ve discovered.
2. You catch yourself daydreaming about life without your partner.
Occasional thoughts about independence are normal, but if you’re constantly imagining a life solo, it could be a red flag. Your daydreams might involve fantasies about living alone, travelling by yourself, or even dating other people.
3. You’re keeping secrets, even about mundane things.
Secrecy can be a form of emotional distancing. If you’re constantly hiding harmless information like a new purchase or a chat with a friend, it might point to a deeper issue. This might come down to a desire to maintain a separate life from your partner.
4. You’ve stopped making future plans together.
When couples are emotionally connected, they tend to make plans for the future, big and small. If you’re no longer discussing holidays, home improvements, or even what to have for dinner next week, it could be a sign of emotional detachment. You might have a subconscious belief that there isn’t a shared future to plan for.
5. Physical intimacy feels like a chore rather than a pleasure.
Not wanting or actively avoiding intimacy is often a symptom of emotional disconnection. If hugs, kisses, or more intimate moments feel forced or uncomfortable, it might be a sign that you’re emotionally checking out of the relationship. This change can be gradual, with physical contact becoming less frequent and feeling less natural over time.
6. You’re more irritated by your partner’s habits than usual.
Every partner has quirks that can be annoying, but if you’re increasingly frustrated by habits you once found endearing or tolerable, it could be a sign of emotional divorce. Your heightened irritation could be because of a growing emotional distance, making it harder to overlook small annoyances.
7. You’ve stopped arguing about important issues.
While constant arguing isn’t healthy, a complete lack of disagreement can be equally concerning. If you’ve stopped discussing important issues or working through conflicts, it might mean you’ve emotionally checked out. Feeling apathetic towards resolving problems often points to a loss of investment in the relationship’s future.
8. You find more comfort in friends or family than your partner.
It’s natural to have close relationships outside your marriage, but if you consistently turn to other people for emotional support instead of your partner, it’s a red flag. Maybe you’re sharing good news with a friend first or seeking comfort from family members during tough times, rather than your spouse. Either way, it’s not good.
9. You’re focusing more on your individual goals than shared ones.
While personal growth is important, a major shift towards prioritising your individual goals over shared ones can be a sign of emotional separation. If you’re starting to make major life decisions without considering your partner’s input or the impact on your relationship, you might as well get divorced now.
10. You feel relieved when your partner is away.
Some time apart can be healthy, but consistently feeling happier or more relaxed when your partner is away is a concerning sign. If you find yourself looking forward to their business trips or dreading their return from a holiday, you’re clearly feeling pretty disconnected from your spouse.
11. You’ve stopped sharing your feelings, good or bad.
Emotional intimacy involves sharing your inner world with your partner. If you no longer feel comfortable or interested in sharing your joys, fears, or frustrations with your spouse, it could be a sign of emotional detachment. What’s worse is that your reluctance to open up can create a growing emotional chasm in the relationship.
12. You’re living parallel lives under the same roof.
If you and your partner are essentially roommates who occasionally interact, it might be a sign that divorce is on the cards. Maybe you have separate schedules, hobbies, and social lives with minimal overlap or shared experiences. While some independence is healthy, a complete lack of shared life is a big problem.
13. You’ve stopped putting effort into your appearance for your partner.
It’s natural for the early relationship efforts to wane over time, but a complete lack of care about how you look around your partner can be telling. You shouldn’t be trying to maintain unrealistic standards, but you should definitely be willing to make small efforts that show you still want to attract and please your partner.
14. You avoid all physical contact.
Beyond intimate moments, if you’re shying away from casual touches like hand-holding or sitting close on the sofa, it’s possible that you’re trying to distance yourself emotionally. Physical touch is a powerful bonding tool, and consistently avoiding it can both reflect and reinforce the disconnection you’re already feeling from your spouse.
15. You’re keeping a mental scorecard of your partner’s faults.
While it’s normal to notice your partner’s flaws, constantly cataloguing them in your mind is a sign of growing resentment. If you find yourself mentally listing all the ways your partner falls short, without balancing it with their positive qualities, it could indicate you’re emotionally checking out of the relationship.
16. You’ve stopped celebrating milestones together.
Birthdays, anniversaries, and achievements are opportunities for couples to bond and create shared memories. If these occasions are passing by without acknowledgement or celebration, it might be a sign that you’re checked out of the relationship and no longer invested.
17. You’re increasingly turning to distractions to avoid interacting.
If you’re constantly buried in your phone, work, or hobbies as a way to avoid spending time with your partner, divorce is probably just around the corner. While everyone needs some alone time, consistently choosing distractions over interaction can point to a desire to emotionally distance yourself from the relationship.
18. You no longer feel proud of your partner’s accomplishments.
In a healthy relationship, partners often feel a sense of shared joy in each other’s successes. If you feel pretty much indifferent to your partner’s achievements or even resentful of them, it’s a sign of emotional disconnect. Your lack of pride or happiness in your partner’s accomplishments might mean that the relationship is coming to a close.
