No one loves being criticised, but some people definitely take it harder than others.
Whether it’s a bit of feedback from a boss, a suggestion from a friend, or even a gentle observation, how someone reacts says a lot. Being open to criticism is a sign of emotional maturity, while rejecting it at every turn often is usually an indication of the opposite. If someone’s constantly getting defensive, brushing off advice, or flipping the blame, they might not be great at hearing anything other than praise. These are just some of the ways people make it clear that they hate hearing any form of critique.
1. They instantly get defensive.
Notice how quickly they spring into defence mode. Before you’ve even finished speaking, they’re already explaining themselves, justifying everything, or making excuses. It’s less about hearing what’s being said and more about protecting their pride.
Instead of taking a moment to process the feedback, they rush in to prove why they’re not in the wrong. It’s an emotional shield of sorts; if they can defend fast enough, maybe they won’t have to feel uncomfortable. But that reaction often stops growth in its tracks.
2. They take it way too personally.
Even when the criticism is about something minor, such as a missed deadline or a clumsy sentence, some people hear it as a full-on attack on their character. They don’t separate the feedback from their sense of identity, so it feels like a personal insult.
This kind of response usually comes from insecurity. Instead of thinking, “I could have done this better,” their mind jumps to, “I’m a failure.” It turns a useful comment into a self-esteem crisis, which makes it hard for them to take anything constructive on board.
3. They get sarcastic or make jokes to deflect.
Rather than engage with the criticism, some people immediately crack a joke or fire off a sarcastic comment. It’s a classic move. After all, humour can be a great way to avoid the discomfort of feeling judged or wrong (at least in their minds).
While it might lighten the moment, it usually shuts down the conversation. The other person feels brushed off, and the person on the receiving end never really reflects on what was said. It’s a subtle form of avoidance wrapped in a punchline.
4. They change the subject.
One moment you’re gently pointing out something they could improve, and the next, they’re talking about something completely unrelated. This can happen so smoothly that you barely notice the topic has changed until it’s too late to circle back.
It’s a quiet way of avoiding discomfort without a confrontation, but dodging the topic doesn’t make the feedback disappear. If anything, it just delays the opportunity for growth and might leave unresolved tension hanging in the air.
5. They flip it back on you.
Instead of reflecting, they turn the criticism into an accusation. You say, “Hey, this could’ve been handled differently,” and they reply, “Well, you’ve made mistakes too.” Suddenly, you’re the one on the defensive, and their issue gets pushed aside.
This habit is often about self-protection. They don’t want to be the only one being corrected, so they try to level the playing field. However, rather than taking accountability, they create a cycle of blame that goes nowhere helpful.
6. They minimise the issue completely.
Some people respond to criticism by downplaying it. “It’s not that big a deal,” or “No one even noticed,” are common refrains. They act as if the feedback is exaggerated or irrelevant, so they can avoid feeling uncomfortable about it.
While it might seem like they’re keeping things in perspective, it’s usually just another form of deflection. Minimising doesn’t solve the issue; it just sends the message that they don’t think it’s worth addressing at all.
7. They act like they’re being picked on.
Even if the feedback is kind and constructive, some people still take it as a personal attack. They might say things like, “Why is everyone always criticising me?” or “You’re just looking for something to complain about.”
This mindset makes it hard for them to learn from feedback because they feel targeted rather than supported. It changes the tone from collaborative to combative, which usually shuts down honest communication altogether.
8. They immediately try to prove you wrong.
When faced with a bit of criticism, some people immediately jump into “fact-check” mode. They pull out emails, receipts, or past examples to disprove your point, not because they’ve thought it through, but because they can’t stand the idea of being wrong.
It’s not about clarity; it’s about control. Their focus moves to defending their track record instead of hearing the feedback. It might win them the argument, but it loses them the chance to actually improve.
9. They make it all about how they feel.
Instead of focusing on what they can do differently, they focus on how the feedback made them feel. “That hurt my feelings,” or “I feel attacked,” becomes the centre of the conversation. And while emotions matter, they can also be used as a shield.
It creates a situation where the person giving the feedback ends up comforting the person who received it, flipping the roles entirely. The original point gets lost in a wave of emotion, and nothing actually changes.
10. They obsess over the tone instead of the message.
Instead of hearing the content of the feedback, they focus on how it was delivered. “You could’ve said that nicer,” or “It’s not what you said, it’s how you said it,” becomes their main concern.
Of course, tone matters, but using it as a distraction tactic means they don’t have to engage with the actual criticism. They redirect the conversation toward your delivery and away from their own accountability, which completely derails progress.
11. They brush it off like they don’t care.
Sometimes people pretend feedback doesn’t affect them at all. They act indifferent, give a vague “Sure, whatever,” and move on as if nothing happened. On the surface, it looks like they’re not bothered, but inside, they’re often avoiding vulnerability.
Their nonchalant act might protect their pride, but it also blocks growth. If you’re not willing to sit with a little discomfort, you’re unlikely to take in anything useful. The whole performance becomes a barrier to change.
12. They get unusually quiet.
Some people don’t get defensive, sarcastic, or dismissive—they just shut down. They stop responding, avoid eye contact, or go quiet mid-conversation. It’s not always anger; sometimes it’s overwhelm, embarrassment, or fear of saying the wrong thing.
Silence might seem like a neutral response, but it can leave the other person unsure if the message was heard at all. While it’s okay to take time to process, completely withdrawing makes it hard to move forward or have an open conversation.
13. They make it about how hard they’re trying.
When someone says, “But I’m doing my best,” they might be looking for understanding, but they also might be avoiding the actual feedback. The focus shifts from what needs improving to how much effort they’ve already put in.
Effort is important, but it doesn’t automatically mean the outcome was right. Sometimes people cling to how hard they worked so they don’t have to admit something still fell short. It’s another subtle way of dodging the truth.
14. They remember every criticism but never change.
Some people never forget a piece of feedback. They’ll bring it up months or even years later, but not because they’re using it to grow. Instead, it becomes part of a personal narrative about being “judged” or “unfairly criticised.”
They hold onto it emotionally, but not practically. Instead of reflecting and adjusting, they use it as proof that people are too harsh or don’t understand them. The result? They carry the weight of the critique without ever doing anything with it.
