When life hits hard, it’s easy to get stuck inside your own head, spinning, worrying, feeling like things will never get better.
Gaining a bit of perspective would be helpful in this situation, but you don’t have to ignore your problems to get it. In reality, it’s all about zooming out enough to remember that your current situation isn’t the whole story. Sometimes even a small changing in thinking can offer major relief. When life feels its heaviest and most overwhelming, here’s how to rein in your spiralling and find a bit of mental clarity.
1. Zoom out from the moment you’re stuck in.
When something painful happens, it can feel like your whole world is collapsing. However, when you step back and view this moment as one chapter in a much bigger story, it gets a little easier to breathe. You’ve survived tough things before. This is another rough page, not the whole book.
Sometimes literally picturing yourself looking down at the situation from above, like seeing your life as a timeline, helps remind you that what feels huge now will eventually be part of a larger, more balanced picture.
2. Think about how you’ll explain this to yourself five years from now.
Imagine yourself five years older, looking back on today. What would you say? Chances are, future-you will remember the growth, the resilience, and the unexpected blessings that came out of the hard season more than the details of the struggle itself.
It sounds a bit silly, but that exercise changes your mindset from “I’m stuck here forever” to “This is something I’m moving through.” It reminds you that pain can lead to perspective, and that what feels endless now eventually becomes a memory with edges that aren’t so sharp.
3. Remind yourself of past challenges you once thought you couldn’t handle.
It’s so easy to forget how many storms you’ve already weathered. Take a minute to think back on moments that once felt impossible—breakups, setbacks, tough conversations—and notice that you’re still standing. Survival doesn’t always feel heroic when you’re living it, but looking back helps you realise how strong you’ve been without even meaning to be. That reminder can change the weight of what you’re carrying now, even if just a little.
4. Talk it out with someone who isn’t emotionally tangled in it.
Sometimes you just need someone who’s not neck-deep in your emotions to offer a different angle. A friend, a mentor, or even a kind stranger can help you see things you can’t see when your own emotions are clouding the view. Other people don’t have to solve your problems. Sometimes, they just help you remember that there are other ways of looking at a situation you thought was set in stone. New eyes often bring new hope.
5. Focus on what’s still within your control.
Feeling powerless is one of the worst parts of any tough season, but almost always, there’s something, even if it’s tiny, that you still have control over. Maybe it’s how you respond, how you spend your next hour, or how you talk to yourself. Taking action, even in small ways, reminds you that you’re not completely helpless. It moves you from feeling like life is just happening to you into remembering you still have a role in shaping how this story unfolds.
6. Comfort yourself with stories of people who’ve overcome bigger odds.
When your world feels small and heavy, hearing about other people’s journeys through hardship can open your heart back up. It’s not about comparing pain; it’s about remembering that humans are wildly capable of surviving things they once thought would break them. Listening to other people’s resilience reminds you that even if you can’t see it right now, strength, healing, and hope are still real, and you’re not alone in trying to find your way there.
7. Remind yourself that feelings aren’t permanent.
In the thick of hard times, emotions can feel so overwhelming that it’s hard to imagine ever feeling differently. But emotions, even the loudest ones, are temporary by nature. They rise, they crest, and eventually, they fall. You don’t have to force yourself to feel better right away. Sometimes just reminding yourself that feelings are waves rather than permanent states is enough to make them a little more bearable while they pass through.
8. Write down one thing you’re learning from this experience.
When life gets brutal, it’s easy to fall into “why is this happening to me” mode. Changing the question to “what might I be learning right now?” changes the tone completely. It turns suffering into something with edges you can hold onto. Even if the lesson is still messy or incomplete, identifying one small thing you’re gaining—patience, resilience, a clearer sense of boundaries—helps you feel less powerless and more like an active participant in your own growth.
9. Picture yourself giving advice to a friend going through the same thing.
If your best friend were facing exactly what you’re facing, what would you tell them? Chances are, you’d be gentler, wiser, and more hopeful than you are with yourself right now. That trick helps you step outside of your own harsh inner critic and tap into the compassion you already know how to give. Sometimes the advice we need is the advice we’d offer someone else without even thinking twice.
10. Get outside and physically move your body.
It sounds simple because it is, but it’s also incredibly effective. Getting outside, even for a short walk, helps reset your nervous system when you’re overwhelmed. Movement clears emotional fog faster than endless overthinking ever will. Nature, fresh air, and movement offer perspective because they remind you that life is bigger than whatever pain is crowding your brain right now. Even a few minutes can shift your energy when words and logic aren’t cutting it.
11. Remind yourself you’re allowed to take up space even when you’re struggling.
It’s easy to feel like you need to shrink yourself or hide your pain so you don’t “burden” anyone. However, you’re allowed to exist fully, even when you’re messy, hurting, or unsure. Perspective comes from recognising that you don’t have to be perfectly “fixed” to still matter. You can still show up, be loved, be important, even when you’re not at your strongest.
12. Reflect on how setbacks have redirected you before.
Sometimes life closing a door is the thing that eventually leads you to a better room. It’s hard to see it in the moment, but many people, when they look back, realise that what felt like failure at the time actually created space for something better.
Taking a second to remember times when you were forced onto a different path, and how that ended up helping you grow, can be the perspective shift you need to trust that this hard moment won’t define you forever, either.
13. Find something tiny that’s still good right now.
It doesn’t have to be huge. It could be your morning coffee, a kind text from a friend, or just the way the sunlight hits your window. Finding even one tiny bright spot reminds you that even in hard seasons, beauty and goodness still exist.
Gratitude doesn’t mean pretending things aren’t hard; it’s about making space for both the hard and the good to exist side by side. That’s where real perspective lives—not in denial, but in recognising the full range of what life offers, even now.
14. Tell yourself the story isn’t over yet.
When you’re stuck in pain, it’s easy to feel like this is how things will always be. But this is only a chapter, not the ending. The story isn’t finished, and you still have so many pages left to fill. Holding onto that truth, even when it feels shaky, is one of the bravest things you can do. You’re still writing your story. You’re still building something, and just because today feels heavy doesn’t mean better days aren’t already on their way toward you.
