Living a small life doesn’t mean hiding away from the world.
Sometimes it’s saying no to opportunities you secretly want, holding yourself back from speaking up, or convincing yourself that your life is enough, even when something inside you knows it’s not. Living big doesn’t mean you need to climb mountains or shout your goals from the rooftops. It’s about stepping into your life with more boldness, more joy, and a lot less fear. If that sounds like something you want to do, here’s how to stop shrinking yourself and start living a little—or a lot—bigger.
1. Say yes before you’re fully ready.
If you wait until you feel 100% ready, you’ll never move. People who live big lives often say yes while they’re still a little scared, a little unsure, and figuring things out along the way. Trust that you can rise to meet the moment, even if you don’t feel perfectly prepared. Growth rarely happens inside your comfort zone; it happens when you stretch just a little further than feels safe.
2. Let go of the need for perfect timing.
Waiting for “the right time” can become an endless delay. There will always be a reason to wait: more money, more confidence, fewer responsibilities. However, time doesn’t deliver guarantees; it just passes. Living big often means acting now, even when things feel messy or unfinished. Momentum builds faster than perfect conditions ever could, and you’ll be amazed how much opens up once you stop waiting.
3. Stop watering yourself down to fit in.
It’s easy to shrink yourself to match the energy of a room, downplaying your excitement, your ideas, even your dreams so you don’t make anyone uncomfortable. However, living small to make other people feel better doesn’t serve anyone, especially not you. The right people aren’t intimidated by your light; they’re drawn to it. Living big means taking up the space that’s yours without apology, even if it feels awkward at first.
4. Take more chances on yourself.
Sometimes the biggest difference between people living full lives and those feeling stuck isn’t talent; it’s the willingness to bet on themselves, even when the outcome isn’t guaranteed. Living big means becoming your own biggest supporter. It means trying even when you’re scared, applying for the opportunity even when you feel underqualified, and trusting that falling down is just part of building something better.
5. Redefine failure as part of success.
If you see failure as proof you’re not good enough, you’ll live small just to avoid the sting. But if you treat failure as a sign you’re in the arena—that you’re actually living—it loses its power to paralyse you. Living big isn’t about never failing. It’s about building a life that’s rich with stories, growth, and resilience. You won’t remember all the failures years from now. You’ll remember that you were brave enough to try.
6. Notice when fear is running the show.
Fear loves to dress up like wisdom: “Be realistic,” “Don’t get your hopes up,” “Maybe you’re not cut out for this.” It sounds protective, but it often keeps you trapped in smallness without you even realising it. Living bigger starts with noticing when fear is making your choices for you, and deciding to move forward anyway. Courage doesn’t mean the fear goes away; it means it doesn’t get to drive anymore.
7. Set goals that actually excite you.
Source: Unsplash Living small often means setting goals that feel safe, predictable, and socially acceptable. Living big means choosing goals that scare you a little—the ones that light a fire in your stomach and make you feel a little reckless for even daring to dream them. Excitement and terror often show up together when you’re dreaming bigger. That’s not a sign to stop; it’s a sign you’re moving toward something real, something that matters.
8. Surround yourself with expanders, not shrinkers.
Some people encourage you to play it safe because it’s more comfortable for them; others will cheer wildly for you to take risks, try bigger things, and believe in your own magic. Living big becomes a lot easier when you’re surrounded by expanders—people who see your potential even when you’re doubting yourself, and who remind you that it’s safe to want more.
9. Stop waiting for external validation.
Living small often comes from needing someone else to say you’re good enough, talented enough, deserving enough. Of course, that approval might never come, and even if it does, it’s never enough to replace your own. Living big means learning to validate yourself first. Your dreams don’t need to be stamped with anyone else’s approval to be worthy. Your own desire is enough to make it real and worth chasing.
10. Make room for joy, not just achievement.
Living big isn’t just about ticking off bigger goals; it’s about feeling more alive in your actual life. It’s about chasing the experiences, the connections, and the moments that make your heart beat faster in the best way. If you only allow yourself to feel worthy after achieving something, life becomes a constant finish line you never reach. Living big means letting joy in now, not later—in the middle of the messy, unfinished, beautiful journey.
11. Forgive yourself for playing small in the past.
There’s no shame in having lived small. Most of us do at some point because it’s a way of surviving. However, living big starts with forgiving the past versions of yourself who stayed quiet, backed down, or didn’t know better yet. Compassion creates space for change. You’re not behind; you’re exactly where you need to be to choose differently now. Living big means loving yourself enough to let the past be a lesson, not a life sentence.
12. Remember that “living big” looks different for everyone.
Living big doesn’t have to mean selling everything to travel the world or starting a million-pound company. It could mean speaking your truth for the first time, starting a project that’s scared you for years, or simply saying yes to something you once thought was out of reach.
Your version of a bigger life is yours alone, and it’s no less worthy because it doesn’t look like anyone else’s. Living big is about honouring your own wild, beautiful life in whatever way feels most true to you.
