Loneliness is something pretty much everyone will experience at some point in life, even if they don’t realise that’s what they’re feeling.
When we think of this emotion, we probably envision someone sitting on their couch, crying and staring longingly into the distance, desperate for company. It can certainly look like that, but more often than not, it’s a lot subtler than that. Incidentally, you can usually tell when someone’s feeling a bit isolated and alone because they’ll often say things like this.
1. “How’s the weather over there?”
Source: Unsplash A classic. Weather chat might seem harmless, but when it’s a go-to opener every time, it could hint at someone craving connection. Instead of dismissing it, try responding with something fun or personal to start a deeper conversation. A little effort can make even mundane chats feel meaningful.
2. “Seen any good shows lately?”
This might sound like casual small talk, but it can also be someone fishing for shared interests. If loneliness is the culprit, recommending a series you genuinely enjoy and offering to discuss it later can turn this into a bonding moment. Bonus points if you agree to watch something together!
3. “Sorry for the long text…”
When someone apologises for sending a long message, it’s often because they feel self-conscious about taking up space. If you notice this, encourage them to share. A simple “I love hearing from you!” can go a long way in easing their worries and showing them they’re valued.
4. “What are you up to?”
Sometimes, this question pops up not out of curiosity but out of a need for company. If you sense this, offering a low-key plan—even virtually, like a shared playlist or online game—can fill that gap for both of you. Shared time is a great remedy for loneliness.
5. “I was just thinking about you.”
It’s lovely to be thought of, but when it’s said often, it might hint at someone needing reassurance. A warm reply, like “That makes my day!” or even asking how they’re doing, can create a sense of connection and show you’re genuinely happy to hear from them.
6. “I saw this and thought of you.”
Whether it’s a meme, article, or random photo, sharing things they associate with you might be their way of feeling close. Engage with the gesture—laugh, share your thoughts, or send something back. It’s a lovely way to keep the conversational loop alive and remind them they’re not alone.
7. “Are you free this weekend?”
If this comes up regularly, and you’re always the one they reach out to, it might mean they’re yearning for connection. Even if you can’t meet, suggesting an alternative, like a phone call or future plan, keeps the connection strong without making them feel brushed off.
8. “I don’t want to bother you…”
Lonely people often feel like a burden, which is why they might preface conversations with this. Reassuring them with an “Anytime, honestly!” or a cheerful “Never a bother!” can help them feel welcome and encourage them to open up more comfortably.
9. “Do you remember when we…”
Nostalgia can be a comforting escape, and when someone frequently reminisces, it might signal they’re missing those connections in the present. While it’s lovely to stroll down memory lane, suggesting new adventures together can create fresh, uplifting moments to enjoy.
10. “I’ve been meaning to call you.”
This phrase often comes with a tinge of guilt, as lonely people sometimes struggle to reach out. Take the first step by calling or texting them instead. Showing that you’re thinking of them too can lighten their mood and strengthen your bond.
11. “I didn’t want to bother anyone else.”
When they say this, they might feel like they’re running out of options. Gently remind them that they’re never a bother to you and that it’s okay to lean on other people. Encouraging them to broaden their support circle can also ease some of that burden they’re carrying.
12. “Just checking in!”
A sweet sentiment, but when it’s a regular occurrence, it could mean they’re hoping for more than a quick exchange. Taking a moment to reply thoughtfully, sharing a bit about your day, or asking them how they’re feeling can deepen the connection they’re obviously looking for.
13. “I’m always here if you need me.”
This generous offer can sometimes mask their own longing for someone to lean on. If you notice this, flipping the sentiment by saying, “And I’m always here for you too!” can remind them that support is a two-way street.
14. “Let’s hang out sometime.”
The vagueness of this phrase often signals someone who’s unsure if they’re wanted. Being specific—“How about Saturday for coffee?”—can give them the certainty they need and make them feel more included and valued.
15. “I’m fine, really.”
When someone says this a bit too quickly, it might be a subtle cry for help. Don’t push, but gently follow up with, “You know I’m here if you ever want to talk.” Offering a listening ear can mean the world to someone who feels unheard.
