Problematic people often stir up drama, tension, or discomfort without realising (or caring) about how their behaviour impacts everyone around them.
The things they do to cause trouble can be subtle or blatant, but they typically destroy relationships and peace of mind in the process. Whether they notice it or will admit it themselves, these traits are signs of a truly problematic person that you’re better off not having in your life.
1. They can’t (or won’t) admit when they’re wrong.
Even if the evidence is staring them in the face, they’ll double down and make excuses rather than own up to their mistakes. No apologies, no accountability — just a bunch of deflection. Their refusal to admit fault makes everything feel like a battle, and it’s exhausting for everyone involved.
2. They constantly play the victim.
No matter what happens, it’s never their fault. They know how to spin every setback or disagreement so it’s someone else’s problem, and they’re just the poor, misunderstood soul. This pattern not only drains you emotionally, but it keeps them stuck in a never-ending cycle of self-pity rather than growth.
3. They lack any real empathy.
When they hurt someone, it’s like they’re blind to it. If someone expresses hurt or frustration, they’ll either ignore it or try to turn the spotlight back onto themselves. It’s hard to build a connection with someone who doesn’t even try to understand how their actions make people feel.
4. They stir up unnecessary drama.
They thrive on chaos — if it’s quiet and peaceful, you can bet they’ll find a way to make it interesting, whether through gossip, exaggeration, or conflict. They’re like walking, talking tension creators who can’t resist making a small issue blow up into something much bigger than it needs to be.
5. They’re manipulative in subtle ways.
They know how to twist situations to get what they want, whether it’s with guilt trips, subtle flattery, or sly remarks. It’s not always obvious at first, but their ability to make you question your own instincts is a huge red flag. Before long, you’re second-guessing yourself and feeling off balance.
6. They refuse to respect anyone’s boundaries.
No matter how many times you say “no” or ask for space, they push and push until you give in. Whether it’s barging into your personal space, demanding your time, or prying into things you’ve asked to keep private, they just don’t respect the limits you’ve set. And that’s a major problem.
7. They gaslight to avoid accountability.
When confronted, they’ll act like they’ve never said or done anything to upset you. If you point out something hurtful, they’ll insist you’re overreacting or imagining things. Gaslighting isn’t just about manipulation — it’s about making you feel like you can’t trust yourself, and that’s a toxic game to play.
8. They dominate conversations.
If it’s not about them, it doesn’t matter. They’ll steer every conversation back to their experiences, opinions, and problems, interrupting or talking over anyone who dares to share their own thoughts. It’s like being stuck in a never-ending monologue that leaves no room for anyone else.
9. They hold grudges for a long time.
Instead of letting things go, they cling to old arguments or hurts like trophies. If you’ve ever tried to make up after a disagreement, you probably know that it’s never really over for them. Past conflicts get dragged out and brought up again and again, poisoning the air every time they do.
10. They’re always criticising people.
No one can do anything right in their eyes. Whether it’s pointing out flaws, offering unsolicited advice, or making backhanded comments, they’re constantly tearing people down under the guise of being “honest.” It’s not about honesty — it’s about making people feel small to make themselves feel bigger.
11. They can’t stand seeing anyone else do well.
If someone else achieves something, they either dismiss it or make it about their own insecurities. Instead of celebrating someone’s success, they’ll either downplay it or throw out some passive-aggressive comment to take away from it. Their jealousy always seems to come to the surface, and it’s a real energy drain.
12. They break promises and never follow through.
They’ll agree to things, make plans, or promise to do something… and then not show up. It’s like their word means nothing. Constantly having to remind them to do what they said they would makes them seem unreliable, and over time, it eats away at trust.
13. They make everything about themselves.
Even when it’s someone else’s time to shine, they’ll find a way to make it about them. It doesn’t matter whether you’re celebrating a friend’s accomplishment or talking about a shared experience; they’ll hijack the conversation to centre themselves. Such selfish behaviour makes people feel like their lives don’t matter as much.
14. They dismiss other people’s feelings.
When someone opens up, they don’t care. Instead of offering comfort, they brush it off with comments like, “It’s not that bad,” or “You’re overreacting.” Their dismissive attitude makes people feel small, invalidated, and not worth the emotional energy.
15. They’re obsessed with controlling everything.
If they’re not in charge, something’s wrong. They’ll challenge every decision you make, take issue with other people’s ideas, and do whatever it takes to get their way. The constant need to dominate makes everyone feel like they’re walking on eggshells, just waiting for them to overrule things again.
16. They really can’t handle feedback.
No matter how constructive, their response is always to get defensive. If you try to offer suggestions or feedback, they’ll either shut down or lash out. Their refusal to accept criticism, even when it’s for their own good, keeps them stuck in their ways and prevents any growth.
