Addiction isn’t just about the substance or behaviour; it’s about everything happening beneath it.
People struggling with addiction often deal with emotions, experiences, and mental battles that aren’t immediately visible to other people. What might look like poor choices or a lack of willpower is often something much deeper, shaped by pain, trauma, or unmet needs. If someone you know is facing addiction, here are just some of the things that could be going on under the surface.
1. They might be using addiction as a way to escape reality.
For many, addiction isn’t more than just craving a particular substance; it’s centred on wanting to get away from something painful. Whether it’s past trauma, current stress, or overwhelming emotions, the addictive behaviour becomes a way to numb or escape from it.
Instead of dealing with tough emotions head-on, substances or compulsive behaviours provide a temporary distraction. It’s not a healthy coping mechanism, but for someone struggling, it often feels like the only thing that works in the moment.
2. Shame and guilt are often keeping them stuck.
People with addiction issues frequently feel ashamed of their actions, yet that shame can make it even harder to break free. They may feel like they’ve disappointed themselves or other people, leading to a cycle of guilt that only fuels their addiction more.
The problem is that shame can be paralysing. Instead of pushing them toward recovery, it can make them feel hopeless — like they’ve already ruined things, so they might as well continue down the same path.
3. They might be struggling with undiagnosed mental health issues.
Many people dealing with addiction also have underlying mental health conditions like depression, anxiety, PTSD, or bipolar disorder. Sometimes, they don’t even realise it because they’ve never been properly diagnosed. Without treatment or support, substances can become a way of self-medicating, offering temporary relief from symptoms. Unfortunately, addiction usually makes those mental health struggles worse in the long run.
4. They could feel completely out of control.
Addiction isn’t always a choice — at least, not in the way people assume. Many people with addiction issues genuinely want to stop but feel powerless over their cravings, habits, and impulses.
Even if they know the consequences of their actions, they may feel like they’re fighting against their own brain. Breaking free isn’t just about willpower; it often requires deep psychological work, support, and sometimes medical intervention.
5. They may have grown up in an environment where addiction was normalised.
For some, addiction isn’t something they stumbled into—it’s something they grew up around. If parents or close family members struggled with substance abuse, it can feel like an unavoidable part of life. When addiction is seen as “just how things are,” breaking the cycle can feel nearly impossible. They may not even realise that a different way of living is possible without seeing it modelled in a healthy environment.
6. They might not have healthy coping mechanisms to fall back on.
Most people develop ways to handle stress — exercise, talking to loved ones, journaling, or taking a break. But for someone with addiction, those tools might not exist, or they may have never learned how to use them. If they’ve always relied on substances or compulsive behaviours to manage emotions, giving them up means facing life without a safety net. Learning new, healthier coping mechanisms is possible, but it takes time and effort.
7. They might be battling intense loneliness.
Even when surrounded by people, addiction can feel incredibly isolating. Many people struggling with it feel misunderstood, disconnected, or like they’re dealing with something no one else truly gets. In some cases, substance use or addictive behaviours become their main source of comfort, filling the gap left by a lack of deep, supportive relationships. The more isolated they feel, the harder it is to break free.
8. Fear of withdrawal or failure might be holding them back.
For those physically dependent on substances, withdrawal can be brutal. Symptoms like nausea, shaking, panic attacks, and even dangerous health risks make quitting feel terrifying. Even beyond the physical side, there’s often a fear of failure, or of trying to stop and slipping up. Instead of facing that fear, some continue using just to avoid the discomfort of withdrawal or the disappointment of relapse.
9. They may not trust themselves to change.
After struggling with addiction for a long time, self-doubt starts creeping in. They might wonder if they’re even capable of getting better, or worry that they’ll never fully escape their habits. When someone stops believing in their own ability to change, it’s much harder to take the first step toward recovery. That’s why having support from people who believe in them can make a huge difference.
10. They may be surrounded by people who reinforce their addiction.
Even if someone wants to quit, it’s incredibly difficult if they’re constantly around people who encourage their behaviour. Friends who drink heavily, use substances, or pressure them to continue can make recovery feel impossible. It’s not always easy to walk away from unhealthy social circles, especially if those people have been their main source of connection. But without making that move, real change becomes much harder.
11. They could be dealing with unresolved trauma.
Many people struggling with addiction have a history of trauma, whether it’s childhood neglect, abuse, loss, or other painful experiences. Substances or addictive behaviours can become a way to block out those memories. Until they address the root of that pain, stopping the addiction can feel like ripping off a bandage without treating the wound. That’s why therapy and deeper emotional healing are often key parts of recovery.
12. They might feel like they’ve already lost too much.
When addiction has caused damage — lost relationships, financial trouble, health issues — it can feel like there’s no way to undo the past. Some people keep using because they believe they’ve already ruined everything. Breaking that mindset is tough, but it’s important to remember that recovery isn’t just about fixing the past—it’s about creating a better future. No matter how much damage has been done, change is always possible.
13. They might not know where to start.
Even if someone wants to quit, they might not know what the first step looks like. Should they go to rehab? Try quitting cold turkey? Ask for help? The uncertainty alone can keep them stuck. That’s why support systems like friends, family, professionals are so crucial. Sometimes, just knowing that help is available can be the difference between staying trapped in addiction and finally reaching out for change.
If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction issues, the NHS website provides a great list of resources that can provide support and treatment options.
