When someone is going through an incredibly tough time in life, it’s hard to know what to say to comfort them.
In many instances, there are no good words, and sometimes just being there for them is enough. At other times, you will want to vocalise your support and care for them, and offer them a bit of reassurance. Here are some phrases you can try in this situation that may help (though don’t be offended if they don’t).
1. “It’s okay to feel this way.”
Validating their emotions can be incredibly comforting. Let them know that their feelings are perfectly normal and that it’s alright to be upset. Encourage them to allow themselves to experience these emotions without judgement.
2. “I’m here for you, no matter what.”
Sometimes, people just need to know they’re not alone. Reassure them that you’re there to support them through thick and thin. Offer to stay with them, whether in person or via phone, to provide a comforting presence.
3. “This feeling won’t last forever.”
Remind them that emotions are temporary. While it might feel overwhelming now, these intense feelings will eventually pass. Share a personal experience of overcoming a tough time to give them hope. Knowing that they’re not alone and that nothing lasts forever can be oddly comforting.
4. “You’re stronger than you realise.”
When someone’s feeling low, they might forget their own strength. Give them a gentle reminder of how resilient they truly are. Bring up specific times in the past when they’ve shown courage or perseverance, and how proud of themselves they were for soldiering through.
5. “What can I do to help?”
Often, the most practical thing you can say is to offer your help. Sometimes people don’t know what they need, but just asking can make them feel supported. Be prepared to suggest specific ways you could help, like running errands or cooking a meal. In fact, be prepared to spring into action and just do it without them even needing to say a word.
6. “I believe in you.”
A vote of confidence can go a long way. Let them know you have faith in their ability to get through this tough time. Remind them of past challenges they’ve overcome to boost their self-belief. It’s easy to forget how far they’ve come in moments like this, but that’s why they have you.
7. “Your feelings are valid.”
Source: Unsplash People often need to hear that it’s okay to feel upset. Acknowledging the legitimacy of their emotions can be incredibly reassuring. Encourage them to express their feelings without fear of being judged or dismissed. Just let them know you’re there to listen to whatever it is they want or need to say.
8. “Let’s take things one step at a time.”
When everything feels overwhelming, breaking things down can help. Encourage them to focus on small, manageable steps rather than the big picture. Offer to help them create a simple plan to tackle immediate concerns. They don’t have to do it all today — there’s always time and space to breathe.
9. “You don’t have to go through this alone.”
Remind them that they have a support system. Whether it’s you, family, or other friends, they don’t have to face their struggles in isolation. Offer to reach out to other people on their behalf if they feel like they can’t face doing so themselves. Make sure the love and support they need is right there for them when they’re ready for it.
10. “It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it right now.”
Source: Unsplash Sometimes, people aren’t ready to open up. Let them know that it’s fine if they need some time and space before discussing their feelings. Assure them that you’ll be there to listen whenever they feel ready to share.
11. “You matter to me.”
When someone’s feeling low, they might doubt their worth. Remind them how important they are to you and others in their life. Share specific qualities or moments that make them special to reinforce their value.
12. “This doesn’t define you.”
Help them remember that their current situation or emotional state doesn’t determine who they are as a person. They’re so much more than this tough moment. Remind them of their achievements, talents, and positive qualities to help shift their perspective.
