Unless you’re an absolute jerk, no one sets out to intentionally dismiss someone’s feelings.
However, sometimes we do brush people off or downplay their emotions unintentionally, and that’s a real shame. It can make them feel unheard and misunderstood, and that wasn’t your intention. If you accidentally invalidate someone, here are some things you can say to fix it.
1. “Oh man, I really put my foot in it there, didn’t I?”
Starting with a bit of self-deprecating humour can help break the tension. It’s a more casual way of acknowledging you messed up, which often feels more genuine than a formal apology.
2. “Wait, hang on. I think I missed something important here.”
This shows you’ve realised you weren’t really listening and want to correct that. It’s a more natural way of asking someone to explain their perspective again. Maybe this time, you’ll actually listen before writing them off!
3. “That came out all wrong. Can I have a do-over?”
Admitting you expressed yourself poorly and asking for another chance is both honest and relatable. It shows you’re aware of your mistake and want to fix it.
4. “I get the feeling I’ve touched a nerve. Want to talk about it?”
This acknowledges that you’ve realised the topic is more sensitive than you initially thought. It opens the door for a more in-depth conversation without putting pressure on the other person.
5. “I totally jumped the gun there, didn’t I?”
This is a more casual way of admitting you made assumptions. It’s self-aware without being overly formal or apologetic. They’ll be much more likely to forgive and forget than if you just gave a generic apology.
6. “Thanks for calling me out. I needed that.”
This is a more relaxed way of showing appreciation for their honesty. It acknowledges that their feedback was valuable, even though it shouldn’t have been unnecessary. Other people shouldn’t have to educate you on how to be a good person!
7. “I reckon we got off on the wrong foot. Mind if we start over?”
This is a super casual way of suggesting a conversation reset. It’s less formal and more inviting than asking for permission to try again. Chances are, the other person will be more than willing to try again.
8. “Wow, I really downplayed that, didn’t I? My bad.”
This is a more colloquial way of admitting you minimised their experience. The “my bad” at the end keeps it casual while still taking responsibility.
9. “I’ve messed this up. How can I make it right?”
Sometimes what’s best is a straightforward admission of error followed by a request for guidance. It’s direct and shows you know you messed up, and you really want to fix things if they’ll let you. (Chances are, they will.)
10. “I should’ve engaged my brain before opening my mouth.”
This is a more colourful way of acknowledging that you spoke without thinking. It’s self-deprecating and often more relatable than a formal apology. Plus, it shows that you’re aware of exactly how your behaviour came off, which always helps.
11. “Cheers for being straight with me about this.”
This is a casual way of expressing appreciation for their honesty. It’s less formal and more likely to be used in everyday conversation.
12. “I’ll try not to be such a plonker next time.”
This is a humorous, self-deprecating way of promising to do better. It keeps things light while still acknowledging the fact that you need to improve how you handle conversations like this. It might put a smile on their face, which helps!
13. “I really want to get where you’re coming from on this.”
This is a more casual way of expressing interest in their perspective. It sounds more genuine and less rehearsed, and it lets them know you’re open to hearing them out, even if it didn’t feel like it the first time around.
14. “I went straight into fix-it mode, didn’t I? Not helpful.”
This acknowledges the tendency to problem-solve rather than listen. It’s more conversational and shows self-awareness. It also means you rewind time a bit so that they can re-open the conversation if they want to.
15. “I’ve clearly hit a sore spot. Want to fill me in?”
This recognises that you’ve touched on a sensitive issue and invites the other person to explain more if they want to. It’s less formal and more inviting.
16. “Next time this comes up, how would you like me to handle it?”
This is a more straightforward way of asking for guidance on future interactions. It’s direct and shows you’re open to changing your approach based on what the other person needs.
