Friendships are supposed to be about mutual support, but sometimes, they start to feel like a one-way street.
If you’re pretty much always the one making the effort, giving your time, and showing up while they barely reciprocate, it might be time to reconsider the relationship. Ending a friendship isn’t easy, but when it’s draining rather than enriching your life, letting go can be the best thing you do for yourself. Here’s how you know for sure that your connection has clearly run its course.
1. When you’re always the one making the effort
One of the clearest signs of a one-sided friendship is when you’re the only one putting in effort. If you’re the one always reaching out, planning meetups, or checking in while they rarely, if ever, do the same, that’s a red flag. Friendship should feel balanced, at least most of the time. If they constantly let you take the lead but never initiate anything themselves, it might be time to step back and see if they care enough to do their part.
2. When they only contact you when they need something
Source: Unsplash It’s normal to lean on friends for support, but if they only show up when they need a favour, that’s not a real friendship. If they disappear when you need them but suddenly remember you exist when they want help, their intentions aren’t genuine. Friendship is about more than convenience. If they only value you when it benefits them, they don’t truly appreciate you, and it’s worth reconsidering the relationship.
3. When they make you feel like an afterthought
A good friend makes you feel valued, but a one-sided friend makes you feel like an option. If they constantly cancel plans, forget important things about your life, or only include you when it suits them, they’re not making you a priority. You shouldn’t have to beg for someone’s attention or time. If you always feel like an extra in their life rather than someone they genuinely care about, it may be time to walk away.
4. When you feel drained instead of supported
Friendships should lift you up, not wear you down. If spending time with them leaves you feeling exhausted, used, or emotionally drained rather than happy, something isn’t right. Pay attention to how you feel after your interactions. A real friend should bring positivity into your life, not constant frustration or disappointment.
5. When they don’t celebrate your successes
A genuine friend is happy for you when good things happen. If they downplay your achievements, act uninterested, or even seem jealous instead of supportive, they’re not being a real friend. Friendships thrive on mutual encouragement. If they can’t celebrate your wins but expect you to cheer them on, the friendship is lopsided and unfulfilling.
6. When they don’t show up for you emotionally
Support in a friendship goes beyond just hanging out. If they’re never there when you’re struggling, don’t check in during tough times, or dismiss your feelings, they’re not offering real emotional support. True friendships involve being there for each other, not just during the fun times but also through difficulties. If they can’t offer basic emotional support, it’s worth questioning why you’re keeping the connection alive.
7. When they don’t respect your boundaries
Boundaries are an essential part of any healthy relationship, and if your friend constantly disregards yours, that’s a problem. Whether it’s emotional, physical, or even time-related, a real friend should respect your limits. If they keep pushing your boundaries, making you feel guilty for saying no, or acting entitled to your time and energy, they’re not valuing your well-being.
8. When they always make everything about themselves
A one-sided friendship often revolves around one person’s needs, problems, and stories. If they dominate conversations, rarely ask how you’re doing, or dismiss your experiences, they’re not truly invested in your life. Friendships should be about mutual exchange, not one person acting as the constant centre of attention. If you feel like a supporting character in their life rather than an equal, it may be time to step away.
9. When they never apologise or take responsibility
Everyone makes mistakes, but real friends own up to theirs. If they never apologise, dismiss their behaviour, or always shift the blame onto you, they’re not being accountable. Friendships need honesty and self-awareness. If they can’t acknowledge when they’ve hurt you or let you down, the relationship will continue to feel one-sided and unfair.
10. When they act differently depending on who they’re with
If your friend treats you well in private but ignores or belittles you in front of other people, that’s a major red flag. Genuine friends are consistent and don’t change their behaviour based on who’s watching. Pay attention to how they act in different settings. If they’re only a good friend when it’s convenient or when no one else is around, they don’t truly respect or value the friendship.
11. When they don’t seem to care about losing you
If you’ve pulled back to see if they’ll step up, and they don’t even seem to notice, that says everything. A real friend will check in, make an effort, or at least acknowledge the distance. If they don’t reach out, ask what’s wrong, or seem bothered by your absence, they’re showing you exactly how much (or how little) you mean to them.
12. When you realise you’re holding onto history
One of the hardest reasons to end a friendship is when you realise you’re only holding on because of the past. Maybe you were once close, but if the friendship no longer feels good, history alone isn’t enough reason to stay. It’s okay to outgrow people. If the connection isn’t what it used to be and keeping them in your life no longer benefits you, it’s time to move on.
13. How to distance yourself without drama
If you’re ready to end a one-sided friendship, you don’t have to make a big announcement or create unnecessary drama. Sometimes, the easiest way is to start pulling back naturally. Stop being the one to initiate plans, take longer to respond, and let the distance grow. If they don’t make an effort to reach out, it confirms that the friendship was one-sided all along.
14. When a direct conversation is necessary
Sometimes, a friendship requires closure, especially if you’ve been close for a long time. If the situation calls for it, have an honest conversation about why you feel things aren’t working. You don’t have to be harsh — just express how you feel. Something as simple as “I feel like our friendship has become really one-sided, and it’s been weighing on me” can open the door for a real discussion. If they care, they’ll either step up or at least respect your decision to walk away.
