Ever heard the saying, “He’s a great guy, but I wouldn’t want to marry him?”
It might sound contradictory, but there’s some truth to it. Sometimes, the qualities that make a man charming and fun to be around don’t necessarily translate into being a good husband. So, what gives? Let’s unpack why some “good guys” might not be husband material after all.
1. They prioritise their friends over their partner.
Source: Unsplash Sure, it’s important to maintain friendships, but a good husband knows where to draw the line. If he’s constantly choosing his buddies over spending quality time with you, it might be a red flag. A healthy relationship involves balance, and neglecting your partner for the sake of friends can create resentment and distance.
2. They lack ambition or drive.
While a laid-back attitude can be attractive in a boyfriend, a lack of ambition can be problematic in a husband. Building a life together often requires both partners to work towards common goals, whether it’s financial security, personal growth, or raising a family. If he’s content with just coasting along, it could lead to frustration and a lack of progress as a couple.
3. They struggle with communication.
Good communication is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship. If he clams up during disagreements, avoids difficult conversations, or doesn’t express his feelings openly, it can create major issues down the line. Marriage requires honesty, vulnerability, and the ability to work through challenges together. If he’s not willing to talk things out, it’s a recipe for disaster.
4. They’re not financially responsible.
Money matters can be a major source of stress in a marriage. If he’s constantly racking up debt, making impulsive purchases, or doesn’t have a plan for the future, it can create tension and insecurity. A good husband takes responsibility for his finances and works with his partner to create a stable and secure future.
5. They avoid household chores and responsibilities.
A good husband understands that marriage is a partnership, and that includes sharing household duties. If he expects you to do all the cooking, cleaning, and other chores while he kicks back and relaxes, it’s a sign he hasn’t fully embraced the concept of teamwork. A marriage thrives when both partners contribute equally to the running of the household.
6. They have a wandering eye.
Flirting with other people, checking out people while you’re together, or even emotional infidelity can be a dealbreaker for many. A good husband is loyal and committed to his partner. If he’s constantly looking elsewhere for attention or validation, it can erode trust and damage the foundation of your relationship.
7. They have unresolved personal issues.
Whether it’s past traumas, unresolved family conflicts, or addiction struggles, carrying heavy baggage into a marriage can create serious problems. If he’s not actively working on his personal growth and healing, it can negatively impact your relationship. A good husband is self-aware and takes responsibility for his emotional well-being.
8. They lack empathy and emotional support.
A good husband is your partner in crime, your shoulder to cry on, and your biggest cheerleader. If he’s dismissive of your feelings, doesn’t offer support during tough times, or lacks empathy, it can leave you feeling isolated and unloved. Emotional connection is crucial in a marriage, and without it, the relationship can wither away.
9. They’re stuck in their ways.
Flexibility and adaptability are essential in a marriage. If he’s resistant to change, unwilling to compromise, or insists on doing things his way all the time, it can create friction and resentment. A good husband understands that growth and change are inevitable in a relationship and is willing to adapt along the way.
10. They have unrealistic expectations of marriage.
Many people enter marriage with romanticised ideas about what it will be like. If he expects you to fulfil all his needs, be his constant source of happiness, or live up to an idealised image of a wife, it’s a recipe for disappointment. A good husband has realistic expectations and understands that marriage is a work in progress, not a fairytale.
11. They don’t take initiative or make decisions.
Marriage involves making countless decisions, big and small. If he’s always passive, indecisive, or relies on you to make all the choices, it can be frustrating and exhausting. A good husband takes initiative, steps up to the plate, and shares the responsibility of decision-making with his partner.
12. They have different values or priorities.
While opposites can attract, major differences in values or priorities can create conflict in a marriage. If you have fundamentally different views on important issues like finances, family, or religion, it can lead to constant disagreements and resentment. A good husband shares your core values and works with you to build a life aligned with your shared vision.
13. They don’t prioritise intimacy and affection.
Physical and emotional intimacy are crucial for a healthy marriage. If he’s not interested in cuddling, holding hands, or expressing affection, it can create a sense of distance and disconnect. A good husband understands the importance of touch and affection and makes an effort to keep the spark alive in your relationship.
14. They take you for granted.
Everyone wants to feel appreciated and valued in a relationship. If he rarely expresses gratitude, takes your efforts for granted, or doesn’t make you feel special, it can erode your self-esteem and create resentment. A good husband makes sure you know how much he loves and appreciates you, both in words and actions.
15. They don’t support your dreams and aspirations.
A good husband is your biggest fan and supporter. If he belittles your dreams, discourages your ambitions, or doesn’t believe in your potential, it can be incredibly hurtful. A healthy marriage involves mutual encouragement and support for each other’s personal growth and aspirations.
