It sounds backwards, but sometimes when life starts to get better, you don’t feel the way you thought you would.
Instead of proud and happy, you might feel anxious, overwhelmed, or even a bit lost. In fact, it’s not much different than you felt when things weren’t going all that well, which is weird. However, there are a few reasons that the better things get, the worse you can sometimes feel.
1. You feel like you don’t deserve it.
Imposter syndrome loves to crash the party when things are going well. A promotion, a new relationship, or a personal achievement can make you wonder, “Why me?” That nagging feeling that you’re not worthy can overshadow the happiness you should be feeling.
2. You’re scared it will all fall apart.
When things finally go right, a tiny voice whispers, “Don’t get too comfortable.” You brace yourself for something to go wrong because, in your mind, good luck never lasts. It’s hard to enjoy the present when you’re constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop.
3. New success comes with new pressures.
Improvement often brings added responsibility. A better job means higher expectations. A healthy relationship means maintaining it. Suddenly, the fear of failing or letting people down creeps in, and that success doesn’t feel as light and freeing as you thought it would.
4. You don’t know how to handle happiness.
Sometimes you get so used to struggle that happiness feels foreign. When things get good, you don’t know how to sit with it. You’re like a cat in a room full of cucumbers — unsure, uneasy, and ready to bolt at any moment.
5. You worry people will expect more from you.
If you’re doing well, you fear other people will raise the bar. Suddenly, “good enough” doesn’t seem good enough anymore. This pressure to keep up appearances can turn success into a burden rather than a joy.
6. You feel guilty about leaving people behind.
When your life improves, you might feel like you’re outpacing friends or family who are still struggling. That guilt can gnaw at you, making it hard to fully enjoy your wins. It’s like you’ve got a ticket to happiness, but you feel bad boarding the train alone.
7. You’re out of your comfort zone.
Weirdly, even bad situations can feel familiar and safe. When things improve, you’re suddenly navigating new territory. Your brain starts whispering doubts, and the uncertainty can make you long for the predictable, even if it wasn’t great.
8. Success highlights what you still lack.
Source: Unsplash Reaching one goal can make you acutely aware of all the other things you haven’t achieved yet. Instead of celebrating progress, you start focusing on what’s missing. It’s like ticking off one box just makes you notice the rest of the list.
9. You fear being seen as arrogant.
Source: Unsplash No one likes a bragger, so you downplay your success. Instead of basking in your achievements, you shrink them down to avoid seeming full of yourself. Unfortunately, that also means you don’t get to enjoy the good stuff fully.
10. The “what’s next?” anxiety kicks in.
Source: Unsplash Achieving something great should feel satisfying, but often it triggers the question, “What now?” You worry that if you’re not constantly chasing the next big thing, you’re stagnating. The pressure to keep moving can zap the joy out of where you are now.
11. You lose a sense of identity.
If you’ve defined yourself by struggle or being the underdog, success can leave you feeling adrift. Who are you if things are going well? That identity shift can be unsettling, even if it’s ultimately a positive change.
12. The fear of failure gets louder.
The higher you climb, the further there is to fall. Success raises the stakes, and suddenly, failure feels more catastrophic. That fear can weigh you down, making progress feel less like a win and more like a tightrope walk.
13. Comparisons creep in.
Source: Unsplash No matter how well you’re doing, someone else always seems to be doing better. Comparing your life to other people’s highlights your perceived shortcomings and steals your joy. Even when things are good, it feels like you’re still losing some invisible race.
14. You’re scared of change, even positive change.
Improvement often means change, and change is scary. New routines, new expectations, new dynamics — even when they’re positive, they can be unsettling. Your brain might prefer the devil it knows over the angel it doesn’t.
15. You worry happiness is temporary.
Source: Unsplash Sometimes, good moments feel like fleeting glimpses rather than permanent states. You worry that joy is just a temporary visitor, and that anxiety can make it hard to appreciate what’s in front of you. It’s like being at a party but constantly watching the clock.
