We like to think happiness is something that just happens to us, but sometimes, we’re the ones making it harder to find.
It’s not always obvious, but small habits and ways of thinking can hold you back from the contentment and fulfilment you’re so desperate to find without you even realising it’s happening. If you’re doing these things, chances are, you’re standing in the way of your own happiness. If you let go of these patterns and limiting beliefs, you’d start to see that everything you want is right there in front of you.
1. You’re waiting for the perfect time to be happy.
It’s easy to convince yourself that happiness is just around the corner. You’ll finally be happy when you get a better job, move house, find the right partner, or tick off some other milestone. But that so-called “perfect” moment never really arrives. There will always be something else to fix or achieve, and if you keep waiting for life to line up perfectly, you might never actually enjoy it. Nothing needs to be perfect before you’re allowed to be happy. You don’t need permission—you just need to stop putting it off.
2. You focus more on what’s missing than what’s already there.
It’s natural to want more from life, but constantly chasing the next thing can leave you feeling like nothing is ever enough. When you’re always looking at what’s lacking, it’s easy to overlook what’s actually good. That doesn’t mean forcing yourself to be positive all the time, but shifting your focus to what’s going well can make a massive difference. You might already have more to appreciate than you think — it’s just getting buried under what you feel is missing.
3. You keep telling yourself you’ll be happy when something happens.
Maybe it’s when you lose weight, make more money, or finally feel like you’ve got your life together. But every time you reach one goal, another one pops up, and the cycle continues. There’s nothing wrong with wanting more, but if you can’t enjoy where you are now, there’s no guarantee you’ll feel any different when you get where you’re going. If happiness is always in the future, you’ll never quite catch it.
4. You let fear stop you from making changes.
Even when something clearly isn’t working, change is scary. Fear of failure, rejection, or just the unknown can keep you stuck in situations that don’t make you happy. Waiting to feel ready or for the fear to go away isn’t realistic. Confidence usually comes after you take the first step, not before. If you’re stuck in a rut but too scared to change anything, ask yourself what’s worse: trying something new or staying exactly where you are?
5. You expect other people to make you happy.
It’s great to have supportive relationships, but if your happiness depends on someone else’s attention or approval, you’re giving them too much power over how you feel. Other people can add to your life, but they can’t be responsible for your happiness. Relying too much on anyone else to ‘fix’ how you feel can lead to disappointment. The more you can create joy for yourself, the less pressure you’ll put on other people to do it for you.
6. You keep replaying mistakes you’ve made in the past.
It’s hard to be happy when you’re constantly beating yourself up over things you can’t change. Everyone has regrets, but dragging them around like baggage only makes life harder. It’s easy to dwell on what you should have done differently, but the past isn’t going anywhere. The only thing you can control is what you do next. Learning from mistakes is useful — punishing yourself for them isn’t.
7. You compare yourself to everyone else.
Social media makes this even worse. You see people on holiday, getting promotions, buying houses, and suddenly, your life feels boring in comparison. But you’re comparing your behind-the-scenes to someone else’s highlight reel. It’s impossible to feel good about your own life when you’re constantly measuring it against someone else’s. The more you focus on what other people are doing, the less time you spend appreciating what’s actually good about your own situation.
8. You avoid dealing with uncomfortable emotions.
Feeling happy isn’t about pretending everything is fine all the time. If you bottle up sadness, frustration, or anger, those feelings don’t just disappear — they come out in other ways. Ignoring emotions only makes them stronger in the long run. Processing them, whether by talking, writing, or just letting yourself feel them properly, actually makes space for happiness. Avoiding them just means they linger in the background.
9. You put everyone else first and leave yourself last.
Being there for other people is great, but if you never prioritise yourself, you’ll burn out. Always saying yes, always making sure everyone else is okay, and never making time for yourself isn’t sustainable. Looking after yourself isn’t selfish — it’s necessary. You can’t pour from an empty cup, and if you’re constantly running on empty, no one benefits. Taking care of yourself means you’ll have more energy to actually enjoy life.
10. You rush through life without appreciating the small things.
It’s easy to get caught up in chasing big achievements, but the best moments are often in the little things—a great cup of coffee, a good laugh with a friend, or even just a quiet moment to yourself. If you’re always rushing towards the next big thing, you miss out on what’s happening right now. Slowing down and paying attention to small joys can make an ordinary day feel like a good one.
11. You tell yourself you don’t deserve to be happy yet.
Some people believe they have to ‘earn’ happiness, like they need to achieve a certain level of success before they’re allowed to enjoy life, but that just keeps joy at arm’s length. There’s no rule saying you have to hit a milestone before you can be happy. You don’t need to be perfect, have everything figured out, or reach some imaginary finish line. The sooner you stop waiting for permission, the sooner you can actually enjoy life.
12. You overthink everything to the point of exhaustion.
Thinking things through is one thing, but overthinking turns every decision into a crisis. If you’re constantly replaying conversations, worrying about the future, or stressing over things you can’t control, it’s no wonder you feel drained. Most of the things we overthink never actually happen. Letting go of the need to control every possible outcome makes life feel a lot lighter. Not everything needs to be figured out right now; some things just need to be experienced.
13. You surround yourself with negativity.
The people and environments you spend time with affect how you feel more than you realise. If you’re constantly around negativity — whether it’s toxic relationships, a draining job, or just constant complaining — it’s going to weigh on you. That doesn’t mean pretending life is always great, but it does mean being mindful of what’s bringing you down. The more you surround yourself with things that energise you rather than drain you, the better you’ll feel.
14. You don’t make time for the things that make life enjoyable.
Life gets busy, and it’s easy to push aside the things that bring joy. But if you never make time for things you actually enjoy, it’s no surprise when life starts to feel dull. Fun, hobbies, and rest aren’t luxuries — they’re important. If you don’t prioritise them, no one else will. Making space for things that bring you joy doesn’t mean ignoring responsibilities; it just means recognising that happiness deserves a spot on your to-do list, too.
