We’ve all experienced those little moments when you (or someone else) react to something in a way that’s, well, a bit extra?
There doesn’t have to be major drama for pettiness to be at play. Here are some telltale signs that you or someone you know might be leaning towards the petty side of life. You’re an adult — it’s time to grow up!
1. You bring up past arguments in current ones that have nothing to do with each other.
Someone forgets to do the washing up, and suddenly, you’re reminding them of that time they borrowed your favourite jumper and never returned it. It’s like you’ve got a mental file of past wrongs, ready to whip out at the slightest provocation. This habit derails the current issue and shows a reluctance to move on and forgive.
2. You correct minor grammar mistakes in casual conversations.
While proper grammar is important in professional settings, nitpicking over “your” versus “you’re” in a casual chat with friends can be a bit much. It makes you appear pedantic and can dampen the flow of conversation. Remember, the goal of communication is to connect and exchange ideas, not to showcase your superior grammar skills.
3. You intentionally leave someone out of group plans.
Maybe you’re still holding a grudge from a past disagreement, or perhaps you just don’t vibe with this person. Either way, intentionally excluding someone from a social gathering is a classic petty move. It creates unnecessary drama and can hurt feelings. Instead, try to be the bigger person and extend an olive branch, or simply decline the invitation if you’re not keen on their company.
4. You refuse to return borrowed items until asked repeatedly.
You might think it’s a harmless way to get back at someone who irritated you, but holding on to their belongings is a low blow. It’s a passive-aggressive tactic that can create unnecessary tension and resentment. If you’ve borrowed something, return it promptly when you’re finished with it. It’s a simple act of courtesy and respect.
5. You engage in subtle acts of sabotage.
Maybe you “accidentally” spill coffee on your coworker’s presentation, or you “forget” to mention an important deadline to a colleague. These seemingly minor acts of sabotage reveal a deeper desire to undermine or get back at someone. Instead of resorting to sneaky tactics, address any issues directly and maturely.
6. You give backhanded compliments.
You might say something like, “You look surprisingly good today” or “That’s a bold outfit choice for you.” These compliments might seem harmless on the surface, but they contain a hidden barb that can sting. Instead of offering insincere praise, try to focus on the positive aspects of someone’s appearance or choices without adding a negative undertone.
7. You make snide remarks under your breath.
You mutter sarcastic comments or make passive-aggressive remarks when you think no one’s listening. But these subtle jabs can still be hurtful and create a negative atmosphere. If you have something to say, say it directly and respectfully, or keep it to yourself altogether.
8. Comparing yourself to other people is your favourite pastime.
Seeing how you measure up to the people around you is a recipe for being miserable. Instead of focusing on what everyone else has or what they’re achieving, celebrate your own unique strengths and accomplishments. Remember, everyone’s journey is different, and comparing yourself to other people is a pointless exercise that only fuels negativity.
9. You keep score in relationships.
Whether it’s who did the dishes more often last week or who initiated the last three date nights, tallying up contributions in a relationship isn’t exactly romantic. It creates a transactional dynamic where love and support are measured like commodities. Instead, focus on creating a sense of mutual care and appreciation, where both partners feel valued and supported.
10. You purposefully ignore someone’s messages.
Source: Unsplash Leaving someone on “read” or letting their calls go straight to voicemail as a way to punish or control them is a petty power play. It’s a way of saying, “I’m not going to acknowledge you until you do what I want.” Instead of resorting to such childish tactics, communicate your needs and concerns directly. If you need space, simply say so instead of ignoring them altogether.
11. You always one-up someone’s story.
When a friend shares an exciting story about their holiday, you immediately launch into a tale of your own more extravagant adventure. This constant need to outdo everyone around you can be exhausting and just makes you look insecure. Instead, be genuinely happy for their experiences and celebrate their joy without trying to one-up them.
12. You make a scene in public over minor inconveniences.
The waiter brings you the wrong order, or the barista spells your name incorrectly on your coffee cup, and suddenly, you’re demanding to speak to the manager. Overreacting to minor inconveniences in public places is not only embarrassing, but also shows a lack of perspective and empathy for the people working hard to serve you.
13. You go out of your way to inconvenience someone.
Maybe you park your car in front of your neighbour’s driveway, even though there are plenty of other spaces available, or you “accidentally” leave the toilet seat up after using it. These seemingly harmless acts of inconvenience are actually deliberate attempts to annoy or irritate someone. It’s a passive-aggressive way of expressing your displeasure without directly addressing the issue.
14. You hold grudges for years.
Forgiveness is a powerful tool for healing and moving forward, but you find it impossible to let go of past hurts. You dwell on old arguments, replaying them in your mind and refusing to let go of the anger and resentment. This only hurts you in the long run, preventing you from finding peace and happiness.
15. You badmouth people behind their backs.
Talking negatively about someone when they’re not around is not only unkind but also cowardly. If you have an issue with someone, address it directly with them instead of gossiping behind their back. Spreading rumours and negativity only creates a toxic environment and damages your own reputation.
16. You refuse to compromise.
You see every disagreement as a battle to be won, and you’re not willing to budge an inch on your position. This stubbornness can lead to unnecessary conflict and make it difficult to maintain healthy relationships. Sometimes, it’s okay to meet someone halfway or let go of minor disagreements for the sake of peace and harmony.
