It’s human nature to want to avoid uncomfortable things, but brushing your problems under the carpet is only going to make them worse.
You might think you just need a bit of a distraction or that things will magically sort themselves out without much input or action from you, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. If you’re doing these things, you’re avoiding your problems, and that’ll most likely come back to haunt you.
1. You’re constantly scrolling through social media.
That endless scroll through Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook might feel like a harmless distraction, but it’s often a way to avoid confronting real issues. When you’re spending hours each day immersed in other people’s curated lives, you’re not addressing your own problems. It’s easy to lose track of time and push your concerns to the back burner while you focus on the latest memes or influencer drama.
2. You’re overworking yourself to the point of exhaustion.
Throwing yourself into work might seem productive, but if you’re doing it to avoid personal issues, it’s not healthy. Staying late at the office, taking on extra projects, or bringing work home every night can be a way of keeping yourself too busy to think about your problems. While it might feel like you’re being productive, you’re really just postponing dealing with important matters.
3. You’re using alcohol or other substances to numb your feelings.
That glass of wine after work or that joint before bed might seem like a good way to relax, but if it’s becoming a nightly habit, it could be a sign you’re trying to numb yourself. Substance use can provide temporary relief from stress or anxiety, but it doesn’t solve the underlying issues. In fact, it often creates new problems while the original ones continue to grow unchecked.
4. You’re constantly starting new hobbies without finishing any.
Jumping from one hobby to another can be a way of avoiding deeper issues. While learning new skills is great, if you’re constantly abandoning projects halfway through, it might be a sign that you’re using these activities as a distraction. The initial excitement of starting something new can provide a temporary high, but it doesn’t address the problems you’re avoiding.
5. You’re binge-watching TV series for hours on end.
Getting lost in a good show can be a great way to unwind, but if you’re spending entire weekends binge-watching, it might be a form of escapism. Using TV as a constant distraction prevents you from facing your real-life issues. While the characters’ problems get resolved in neat 40-minute episodes, yours continue to simmer in the background.
6. You’re overeating or undereating to cope with stress.
Food can be a comfort, but using it as a coping mechanism isn’t healthy. Whether you’re reaching for junk food whenever you’re stressed or skipping meals altogether, these behaviours are often signs that you’re avoiding dealing with something. Your eating habits might provide temporary relief or distraction, but they don’t solve the underlying issues.
7. You’re constantly planning for the future without living in the present.
Always talking about future plans — that holiday you’ll take “someday”, or the career change you’ll make “when the time is right” — can be a way of avoiding current problems. While having goals is important, if you’re constantly living in the future, you’re not addressing the issues in your present. It’s easy to imagine a problem-free future, but it won’t materialise if you don’t deal with your current challenges.
8. You’re picking fights over minor issues to avoid bigger ones.
If you’re always getting into arguments over small things, it might be because you’re avoiding a bigger conflict. Nitpicking about dirty dishes or being overly critical of minor mistakes can be a way of expressing frustration without addressing its real source. These petty conflicts distract from the larger issues that need attention.
9. You’re constantly changing your appearance to feel in control.
Frequent haircuts, new tattoos, or a constantly changing wardrobe might seem like self-expression, but sometimes it’s a way of avoiding deeper issues. Changing your outward appearance can provide a temporary boost of confidence or sense of control, but it doesn’t address internal struggles. If you’re using these changes as a distraction, the relief is often short-lived.
10. You’re spending money you don’t have on things you don’t need.
Source: Unsplash Retail therapy might feel good in the moment, but if you’re overspending to avoid dealing with problems, it’s not a solution. The temporary high of a new purchase can distract you from your worries, but it often leads to financial stress that compounds your existing problems. It’s a cycle that can be hard to break if you don’t address the root causes.
11. You’re staying in a relationship that’s not working.
Clinging to a relationship that’s clearly not working can be a way of avoiding the pain and uncertainty of being single. Fear of loneliness or change might keep you in a situation that’s not fulfilling. While breaking up is hard, staying in an unhealthy relationship prevents you from addressing your own needs and finding true happiness.
12. You’re constantly busy but never productive.
If your to-do list is always full, but you never seem to accomplish anything significant, you might be using busyness as a distraction. Filling your time with unimportant tasks can make you feel productive while avoiding the big, scary items on your list. It’s a form of procrastination that keeps you from tackling the issues that really matter.
13. You’re using sleep as an escape mechanism.
While getting enough sleep is crucial for health, using it as an escape can be problematic. If you regularly go to bed unusually early or sleeping late into the afternoon, it might be a sign you’re avoiding something. Excessive sleep can be a form of avoidance that prevents you from facing your waking life and the challenges it presents.
