Confidence often feels like it’s a bit hard to come by, but most of us have a bit of it to get us through in life.
We know that we’re smart, kind, caring, and capable, and that counts for a lot. Sure, we all have things we’re insecure about ourselves or that we don’t like and wish we could change, but before you write yourself off as having low self-esteem or no real grip on your self-worth, consider the fact that you might just need a change in perspective. These mindsets are convincing you that you’re lacking confidence, but in reality, it’s been there all along — you just need to cut out all the other noise so you can get to it!
1. Believing you’re not good enough
Thinking you’re not good enough creates an ongoing loop of self-doubt. When you convince yourself that your efforts or abilities fall short, it becomes hard to recognise your value. It keeps you overly critical of yourself, even when there’s evidence to the contrary. These feelings can grow stronger over time if left unchecked, shaping how you approach opportunities and challenges. By reflecting on past achievements and acknowledging the effort behind them, you can start to dismantle the idea that you’re inherently lacking. Confidence grows when you allow yourself to see your worth clearly.
2. Comparing yourself to other people
Measuring your success or happiness against everyone else’s might seem natural, but it rarely helps. Constant comparisons often highlight what you believe you lack, rather than allowing you to appreciate your unique strengths or journey. This habit can leave you feeling defeated instead of inspired. Focusing on your own progress helps shift such an unhelpful perspective. By recognising that everyone’s circumstances and challenges are different, you can stop holding yourself to standards that don’t apply. Celebrating your milestones, no matter how small, can make a meaningful difference in how you view yourself.
3. Overthinking everything
Overthinking doesn’t just drain your energy—it chips away at your confidence. When you analyse every decision, replay conversations in your head, or second-guess your actions, you’re essentially feeding doubt. That makes it harder to trust your instincts and take decisive action. Learning to simplify your thought process can help reduce the mental clutter. Instead of agonising over every possible outcome, focus on what feels right in the present. Small steps toward trusting your choices can help you feel more in control and less stuck in a loop of hesitation.
4. Focusing on your weaknesses
When your attention is always on what you can’t do, it’s easy to feel like you’re falling short. What’s tough is that it can overshadow your strengths and make you forget the skills and qualities that set you apart. Over time, having such a narrow focus reinforces feelings of inadequacy. Instead of dwelling on your shortcomings, try shifting your energy to areas where you excel. Acknowledging what you do well doesn’t mean ignoring your flaws, but it helps you see a more balanced picture of yourself. Confidence comes from building on strengths, not fixating on perceived failures.
5. Fear of failure
The fear of failing can stop you from trying altogether. Worrying about what might go wrong or how other people will judge you creates a barrier that keeps you from taking risks or pursuing goals. The fear often feels bigger than the failure itself. Changing how you view failure can help ease your anxiety. Mistakes are inevitable, but they’re also opportunities to learn and grow. When you treat failure as a stepping stone rather than a dead end, it becomes less intimidating and more manageable.
6. Needing everyone else’s approval all the time
Depending on other people’s opinions to feel good about yourself is a mindset that undermines confidence. When you rely on external validation, you lose the ability to trust your own judgement. The constant need for approval can leave you feeling unfulfilled and insecure. Developing self-trust helps break the cycle. By focusing on what feels right for you, regardless of other people’s opinions, you take back control of your self-worth. Confidence builds when you value your own perspective as much as, if not more than, external feedback.
7. Assuming everyone is judging you
Believing that everyone is constantly critiquing your actions can make you feel self-conscious and hesitant. As a result, it creates unnecessary pressure, often causing you to second-guess yourself in social or professional situations. The reality is that most people are too preoccupied with their own lives to focus on yours. Understanding that can be liberating, allowing you to act more freely and authentically. Plus, letting go of fear helps you show up with greater confidence in any setting.
8. Sticking to your comfort zone
Staying in familiar territory might feel safe, but it often limits growth. Avoiding challenges or new experiences because of fear or doubt can keep you from discovering what you’re truly capable of. Over time, it inevitably stunts your confidence. Taking small steps outside your comfort zone helps build resilience and trust in your abilities. Whether it’s trying a new hobby or speaking up in a meeting, every step reinforces the idea that you can handle more than you think.
9. Defining yourself by past mistakes
Holding onto past failures can make you feel stuck in a narrative of “I’m not good enough.” When you define yourself by what went wrong instead of what you’ve overcome, it’s hard to believe in your ability to succeed. Flipping your focus to the lessons learned from those mistakes can help you move forward. Instead of seeing them as proof of inadequacy, treat them as valuable experiences that have shaped your growth. This way, you can approach the future with more optimism and confidence.
10. Expecting perfection from yourself
Perfectionism often feels like striving for excellence, but it usually does the opposite. When you set impossibly high standards, even small errors can feel like massive failures. As a result, it makes it hard to appreciate your efforts or progress. Learning to embrace imperfection allows you to focus on what truly matters—growth and improvement. By letting go of the need to be flawless, you give yourself permission to try, fail, and succeed on your own terms. That shift helps confidence flourish.
11. Ignoring your accomplishments
Downplaying your achievements as “not a big deal” undermines your confidence. When you refuse to acknowledge your wins, it’s easy to feel like you’re not making progress, even when you are. It’s a mindset that keeps you disconnected from your own success. Celebrating your accomplishments, no matter how small, reinforces the idea that your efforts matter. Taking time to recognise your progress helps build a sense of pride and motivates you to keep pushing forward.
12. Dwelling on what you can’t control
Focusing on things beyond your control drains energy and breeds frustration. Worrying about how people see you or stressing over unpredictable outcomes leaves little room for meaningful action. It can make you feel powerless. Redirecting your attention to what you can influence restores a sense of agency. Whether it’s your attitude, effort, or choices, focusing on these areas helps you feel more capable and confident in navigating challenges.
13. Downplaying your uniqueness
Trying to blend in or conform often leads to suppressing what makes you unique. You do this because you’re afraid of other people’s judgement or rejection, but it ultimately diminishes your confidence by encouraging you to hide parts of yourself. Embracing your individuality helps you stand out in the best way. Confidence grows when you recognise that your quirks and differences are assets, not flaws. Owning who you are makes it easier to connect with people and thrive authentically.
14. Thinking confidence is out of reach
Believing that confidence is something you either have or don’t can create a mental block. It makes feeing good about yourself seem unattainable, keeping you stuck in self-doubt and hesitation. Confidence isn’t an inherent trait; it’s something you build over time through practice and experience. Taking small steps to trust yourself, even when it feels uncomfortable, shows that confidence is within reach. It’s about progress, not perfection, and every effort brings you closer to feeling self-assured.