You might get the sense you should know more than you actually do about everyday adult stuff.
It’s not your fault, really. There are plenty of things that feel obvious now simply weren’t taught when you were growing up, and that’s left a huge gap in your skill set that feels nearly impossible to fill in at this point. While you can totally get there with a bit of curiosity, effort, and hard work, these are some of the most common missing basics that most of us learn the hard way.
1. You don’t know how to manage money well.
Many young people struggle because they were never shown how to budget, save, or plan money for rainy days. They find themselves living pay cheque to pay cheque, without feeling in control or confident about what’s coming.
Start by tracking what you spend each month, even just roughly. Work out what you can afford to set aside, cut back on what doesn’t matter, and build a little buffer. As time goes on, you start to worry less and feel more in charge.
2. You don’t really understand basic cooking and nutrition.
You might survive on convenience meals, takeaways and whatever’s easiest, without a clear idea of what counts as balanced or good for you. That often means you feel sluggish, guilty or stuck in food habits you didn’t choose.
Try learning a couple of simple go-to recipes, choose ingredients you actually enjoy, and get used to cooking a bit for yourself. You’ll notice how much better you feel when you eat food that gives you energy rather than just fills time.
3. You haven’t been taught how to deal with conflict healthily.
You may avoid disagreements or explode in frustration because you never learned to communicate without blame, guilt, or defensiveness. That means relationships often drift or blow up instead of evolving. You don’t get comfortable saying what matters without fearing you’ll wreck things.
Practice saying how things affect you rather than what the other person did wrong. Try listening without planning your defence. That way you stay connected and honest rather than distant or afraid to speak up.
4. You’ve never been shown how to set boundaries.
Boundary-setting often doesn’t get taught directly, so many people end up being walked over or becoming distant because they don’t know how to express what works for them. You might feel awkward saying no or resent people without knowing why.
Start by noticing what drains you or makes you anxious, then practise saying no or asking for what you need. You don’t have to be harsh or rigid. Expect awkwardness at first, but over time you’ll be clearer about what feels okay and what doesn’t.
5. You weren’t taught how to look after your mental health regularly.
Most of us never had a class or guide explaining how to check in with our minds, notice when we feel off, or take small steps to feel better before things go too far. Often we just wait until everything feels overwhelming.
Try checking in with yourself regularly: what’s your mood like, how’s your energy, what feels off or heavy? Use small tools like journaling, walking or talking to someone. You don’t need big fixes, just consistency so you don’t end up buried under things you ignored.
6. You don’t always know how to maintain friendships intentionally.
You might assume friendships happen naturally without effort, so you don’t think to check in, make plans or show support unless someone else does it first. That can leave you feeling abandoned or wondering why relationships aren’t closer.
Try being proactive: text or call people, suggest plans, show interest in how they’re doing. Offer genuine encouragement or help. It might feel weird at first, but real friendships grow when you treat them like something that matters, not just something that happens.
7. You don’t always feel confident planning for the future.
You might drift from one job to another or avoid thinking long term because nobody showed you how to set realistic goals or define success for yourself. That leaves you feeling stuck or aimless.
Start by asking where you’d like to be in a few years in work, finances, relationships, or life in general. Then break it into smaller steps. Don’t expect perfection, just steady movement toward what feels meaningful.
8. You’re not always good with time management or prioritising tasks.
You may often feel overwhelmed by everything you need to do, unsure where to start, or frustrated by how long it all takes. That’s usually because nobody showed you realistic ways to plan your day or balance tasks.
Try prioritising what really matters each day. Pick two or three things that move life forward, do those first, and let yourself rest without guilt. You’ll end up feeling calmer and more capable over time.
9. You weren’t taught how to deal with failure productively.
You might see failures as proof you’re not good enough rather than part of learning, so you avoid trying new things. That means you stay in your comfort zone instead of growing.
Try reframing failure as feedback. Ask what you learned, what you’d try differently, or what was actually in your control. The goal isn’t perfection, it’s progress. Little by little, you build resilience and confidence.
10. You don’t always know how to handle your digital presence responsibly.
You might not realise how what you post or say shapes how people see you, or how easily it stays online. Oversharing or joking carelessly can cause issues later.
Think twice before posting: does this reflect how you want to be seen? Could it hurt someone or be misunderstood? Being thoughtful doesn’t mean you can’t be yourself, it just means doing it with awareness.
11. You weren’t taught how to balance work and downtime.
You may feel guilty resting, believe you should always be productive, or panic when you slow down. You might also burn out because you forget how vital rest and fun are for long-term success.
Treat rest as part of your routine. Plan downtime, breaks, hobbies, even short pauses during the day. You’ll perform better, stay healthier and enjoy life more when you’re not running on fumes.
12. You don’t always know how to ask for help or feedback.
You might find it hard to ask for advice, guidance, or critique; maybe it feels embarrassing or like weakness. That keeps problems unspoken and learning slower than it needs to be.
Try practising asking for input from people you trust. See feedback as useful, not personal. You’ll end up learning faster and feeling supported instead of stuck trying to figure everything out alone.
