We’ve come a long way in tackling toxic masculinity, but it’s still a serious problem.
Too many boys grow up being taught that having and expressing feelings is weak or feminine, and as a result, many grow up into men who are emotionally repressed and unable to cope. It doesn’t have to be that way, however. Here are some ways men can begin learning to come to terms with their feelings and sharing them in healthy ways. (And for the record, these can help ANYONE of any gender in the same way — not just men!)
1. Start journaling regularly.
Writing down thoughts and feelings can be a great first step. It’s private, so there’s no pressure. They can jot down whatever comes to mind, helping them process emotions and identify patterns in their thoughts and behaviours.
2. Practise naming their emotions.
Many men struggle to identify what they’re feeling. Taking a moment to pause and ask, “What am I feeling right now?” can be powerful. It’s okay to start with basic emotions like happy, sad, angry, or scared and build from there.
3. Open up to a close friend.
Source: Unsplash Sharing feelings with a close mate can be incredibly freeing. It doesn’t have to be a deep, emotional chat right away. Starting small, like admitting when something’s bothering them, can build confidence in expressing emotions.
4. Explore creative outlets.
Art, music, writing, or any creative hobby can be a fantastic way to express emotions. Whether it’s painting, playing an instrument, or writing poetry, these activities allow men to channel their feelings into something tangible.
5. Practise mindfulness or meditation.
These techniques help men become more aware of their thoughts and feelings without judgement. Regular practise can make it easier to recognise and express emotions as they arise, rather than pushing them down.
6. Join a support group or men’s circle.
Source: Unsplash Being around other men who are also working on expressing themselves can be incredibly helpful. It provides a safe space to practise openness and vulnerability, and shows that it’s normal and healthy for men to have feelings.
7. Get help from a therapist or counsellor.
Talking to a therapist or counsellor can provide men with tools to better understand and express their emotions. It’s a judgement-free zone where they can work through deep-seated issues and learn healthy coping mechanisms.
8. Use “I feel” statements in conversations.
Starting sentences with “I feel” can help men express emotions without blaming other people. Instead of saying “You made me angry,” they can say “I feel angry when this happens.” It’s a small change that can make a big difference.
9. Practise active listening.
By truly listening to other people express their feelings, men can become more comfortable with emotional conversations. It also helps them recognise and validate their own emotions, making it easier to express them in the future.
10. Get some physical activity in.
Source: Unsplash Exercise, sports, or even a simple walk can help release pent-up emotions. Physical activity can clear the mind and make it easier to identify and express feelings. Plus, team sports can provide a supportive environment for opening up.
11. Read books about emotional intelligence.
There are many great books on emotional intelligence and expression. Reading about other people’s experiences and techniques can provide men with new tools and perspectives for understanding and expressing their own emotions.
12. Practise expressing appreciation.
Telling people what they appreciate about them is a great way to start expressing positive emotions. It might feel awkward at first, but it gets easier with practise and can lead to more open, emotionally honest relationships.
13. Use technology to their advantage.
There are apps designed to help track moods and emotions. Using these can help men become more aware of their emotional states over time. Some even provide prompts for reflection, making it easier to dive into feelings.
14. Volunteer or help people.
Helping other people can evoke strong emotions and provide opportunities to process and express them. Whether it’s volunteering at a local charity or simply helping a neighbour, these experiences can open up new avenues for emotional expression.
15. Challenge stereotypes about masculinity.
Recognising that it’s okay and healthy for men to have and express emotions is crucial. By consciously challenging the idea that men should always be tough and unemotional, they can give themselves permission to be more expressive.
