It doesn’t matter whether you’re 21 or 51‚ the dating scene is an absolute disaster zone, and navigating it can try even the most patient person.
If you’re looking for love, it makes sense to keep your eyes on the prize and focus solely on finding your person. However, there are some things you need to do along the way to ensure you’re respecting yourself and the people you’re going out with. Here’s how to make the dating scene a little less awful.
1. Be clear about what you’re looking for.
Before you start dating, take some time to think about what you want from a relationship. Are you looking for something casual or serious? Knowing your goals can help you communicate more effectively with potential partners and avoid misunderstandings down the line.
2. Focus on self-improvement.
The best way to attract a great partner is to be the best version of yourself. Work on your personal growth, pursue your interests, and take care of your physical and mental health. When you’re happy and confident in yourself, you’re more likely to attract like-minded people.
3. Be honest from the start.
Honesty is crucial in any relationship. Be upfront about your intentions, your past, and your expectations. While you don’t need to reveal everything on the first date, avoid misleading potential partners. Honesty builds trust and sets a solid foundation for any relationship.
4. Take things at a comfortable pace.
There’s no need to rush into a relationship. After all, if things are meant to work out, they will, and there’s no timeline on that. Take the time to get to know someone before making any big commitments. This allows you to make more informed decisions about your compatibility and helps build a stronger connection.
5. Communicate openly and effectively.
Good communication is key to any successful relationship. Express your thoughts and feelings clearly, and be an active listener when your date is speaking. Don’t be afraid to have tough conversations because they’re often necessary for growth and understanding. Of course, you’ll want to make sure you don’t start trauma-dumping or sharing too much info on the first date. Strike a balance!
6. Respect boundaries, both yours and theirs.
Everyone has different comfort levels when it comes to physical and emotional intimacy. Be clear about your own boundaries and respect those of your date. Never pressure someone into doing something they’re not comfortable with.
7. Plan thoughtful dates.
Put some effort into planning dates that allow for conversation and shared experiences. Consider your date’s interests and try new activities together. This can help you bond and create lasting memories. At the very least, even if things don’t work out, you’ll have had a bit of fun.
8. Be present during dates.
When you’re on a date, give your full attention to the person you’re with. Put away your phone and avoid distractions. Being present shows respect and helps you truly connect with your date. It also shows that you have manners, are considerate, and actually want to be there rather than anywhere else.
9. Keep an open mind.
Try not to have a rigid “type” or dismiss someone based on superficial criteria. Sometimes, the best connections come from unexpected places. After all, if the kind of person you usually go for has never worked out before, it may be time to try something new, don’t you think? Give people a chance because you might be pleasantly surprised.
10. Don’t ignore red flags.
While it’s important to keep an open mind, it’s equally important to trust your instincts. If something feels off, or you notice concerning behaviours, don’t ignore them. It’s better to address issues early on or move on if necessary.
11. Maintain your independence.
While it’s exciting to start a new relationship, don’t lose yourself in the process. Continue pursuing your own interests and maintaining your friendships. A healthy relationship involves two independent people coming together, not becoming completely dependent on each other.
12. Be patient.
Finding the right person takes time, and that’s a major understatement. However, patience is key. Don’t get discouraged if things don’t work out immediately. Each dating experience, whether successful or not, is an opportunity for growth and learning.
13. Make sure you’re being safe.
Always prioritise your safety when dating, especially when meeting someone new. Meet in public places, let a friend know your plans, and trust your instincts. Also, use protection if you’re going to get physical with someone, even if just for the night. (Hey, no judgement here!)
14. Be kind, even when rejecting someone.
If you’re not interested in pursuing things further with someone, be honest but kind. A simple “I’ve enjoyed getting to know you, but I don’t feel a romantic connection” is better than ghosting or leading someone on. It’s important to be mature and respectful. After all, you want the same in return, right?
15. Remember to have fun.
While dating can sometimes feel like work, don’t forget to enjoy the process. Each date is an opportunity to meet someone new, learn about yourself, and potentially create a meaningful connection. Keep a positive attitude and try to have fun, regardless of the outcome.
