Sometimes, a man opens his mouth and you instantly wish he hadn’t bothered.
It’s often a well-meaning comment gone wrong, but other times, it’s just plain thoughtless. Either way, these sentences can make you cringe, roll your eyes, or feel downright insulted. There’s a certain type of guy who thinks he’s being helpful or even charming, but he’s actually just digging a massive hole for himself. Here are some sentences that are guaranteed to make most women wish they could hit the mute button on the conversation. I’ve definitely been there myself!
1. “You’re overreacting—it must be that time of the month.”
Yes, because every time a woman responds to something a man does, it must be down to hormones. It couldn’t possibly be because he did something completely inappropriate or wildly infuriating, right? It’s the ultimate lazy way to dodge responsibility for being a jerk—just blame biology instead of owning up to the fact that you’ve actually upset someone for a valid reason.
2. “You’d be prettier if you smiled more.”
Newsflash: women don’t exist to be decorative or to please men with their appearance, and our value isn’t tied to our looks. The number of times most of us have heard this from men on the streets—perfect strangers, I might add—is ridiculous. It’s incredibly patronising to suggest that a woman’s default state should be a beaming grin just so she looks “nicer” for the people passing by.
3. “Are you sure you can handle that?”
Oh no, you’re right—I completely forgot how weak and incapable I am, but thank goodness you’ve reminded me! This reeks of condescension and shows a total lack of faith in a woman’s basic competence. I think I’ve got it covered here, mate, and I didn’t actually ask for a supervisor to check my work or my heavy lifting.
4. “You’re not like other girls.”
This is meant to be a compliment, but it’s just a load of rubbish. I’ve actually asked men who’ve said this to me how I’m not like other women, and they usually don’t have a very good response. I’m actually a lot like other girls, and I’m proud of that because “other girls” are generally brilliant; it’s not the compliment they think it is to put down an entire gender just to flatter one person.
5. “Calm down, you’re being hysterical.”
When in the history of the world has telling someone to calm down ever made that happen? Especially when you’re a woman and the person telling you is a man? Pretty much never. Every negative emotion we express isn’t “hysterical.” You’re just emotionally stunted and can’t handle a bit of raw honesty when it’s directed at you.
6. “You’re too pretty to be so smart.”
This backhanded compliment is offensive on multiple levels, and it’s also incredibly reductive. What, so only ugly people are smart and all attractive people are idiots? I just don’t get this, and it’s a massive insult to anyone’s intelligence. It suggests that brains and beauty are somehow mutually exclusive, which is a prehistoric way of looking at the world.
7. “Don’t worry your pretty little head about it.”
This patronising statement suggests that women are incapable of understanding or dealing with complex issues. A lot of men use this cheekily and pass it off like they’re just joking and being goofy, but it’s still annoying and dismissive. It’s basically telling a woman that the big, important stuff is for the men to handle, while she should just focus on looking nice.
8. “Is it that time of the month again?”
Similar to the first point, but worth repeating because it’s so common and so infuriating. Maybe it is that time of the month, but so what? You pointing it out or invalidating a woman’s feelings by claiming they’re all down to her cycle isn’t going to help. In fact, it’s probably going to lead to a major explosion because you’re being a complete prat.
9. “You’ll change your mind about not wanting kids someday.”
Men, please do not say this to any woman (or anyone, really) ever. If someone is sure that they don’t want children, in what world is it ever appropriate for you to tell them how you think they’ll feel someday? Just because you don’t know your own mind doesn’t mean everyone else is in the same boat, and it’s incredibly arrogant to assume you know a woman’s future better than she does.
10. “You throw/run/fight like a girl.”
This is often used as an insult, but I see it as a total compliment. Yes, I do many things like a girl, and thank goodness for that because we’re amazingly smart, strong, perceptive, and a variety of other positive qualities. Using a person’s gender as a synonym for “weak” or “rubbish” is a joke that stopped being funny about 50 years ago.
11. “Are you on your period or something?”
Yet another variation of the menstruation-based dismissal that doesn’t really need a long explanation. For people who know so little about periods, men sure do have a lot to say about them whenever a woman shows a bit of backbone or emotion. It’s a cheap tactic used to shut down a conversation when they’ve run out of actual arguments.
12. “You’re too emotional to make rational decisions.”
This plays into the stereotype that women are controlled by their emotions, and that is just flat-out false. I’ve dated many men over the years who were far more emotional than I am, for one. For another, having feelings doesn’t make you incapable of reason—the best decisions often come from a balance of both, and being “cold” doesn’t mean you’re being logical.
13. “Who’s looking after the kids while you’re at work?”
This one is almost always directed at working mothers, but never working fathers! Men who say this are basically implying that women belong at home being permanent child minders and should never pursue any other goals, particularly professional ones. It’s a double standard that needs to be binned; the kids are fine, and they have a father who’s perfectly capable of parenting too.
14. “You’re too pretty to eat that.”
It’s never, ever okay to police another person’s body or their eating habits, especially women’s. Not only is it rude and inappropriate, but it could be a major trigger for many women who already have tricky relationships with food or their bodies. Suggesting that a woman’s diet should be restricted just to maintain a certain look for your benefit is beyond creepy.
15. “Are you sure you want to eat all that?”
Yep, I sure am—that’s why I ordered it, mate. Why on earth do men think it’s their place to comment on how little or much (or even what) a woman is eating? It’s intrusive, judgmental, and frankly, none of your business. If I’m hungry, I’m going to eat, and I don’t need a running commentary on my appetite.
16. “You’d be so much prettier if you lost/gained some weight.”
I don’t even want to expand on this one too much—I know so many women out there have been on the receiving end of this comment just like me. It’s a cruel and unnecessary thing to say that serves no purpose other than to make a woman feel self-conscious. Sometimes saying nothing at all is the most powerful response to such a brainless comment.
