Being ignored by someone who matters to you feels absolutely horrible.
There’s nothing worse than feeling like you’re suddenly invisible to the person whose attention you value most. It messes with your head and leaves you questioning everything about the relationship and yourself. However, you don’t have to let it destroy you inside, even if it feels like it might. Here’s how to make this slightly less devastating and intense.
1. Stop checking if they’ve seen your messages.
You keep refreshing their social media, checking if they’ve been online, or obsessing over read receipts that show they’ve seen your texts but haven’t replied. Constant monitoring is driving you mental and making the silence feel even louder than it already is.
Put your phone in another room or turn off read receipts entirely to break the exhausting cycle. The information about their online activity isn’t helping you feel better. It’s just feeding your anxiety and making everything worse.
2. Don’t send multiple follow-up messages.
Your brain keeps coming up with reasons to text them again. Maybe they didn’t see the first message, or perhaps a casual follow-up will get their attention. Before you know it, you’ve sent three messages in a row and feel even more desperate than before.
One message is enough to communicate what you need to say. Sending more won’t make them respond faster, and often pushes people further away because it feels overwhelming or needy to receive.
3. Resist the urge to involve other people.
You’re tempted to ask mutual friends if they’ve spoken to this person lately or whether something’s wrong. You might even consider getting someone else to reach out on your behalf to figure out what’s happening.
Unfortunately, taking that approach usually backfires because it makes the situation more complicated and can damage other relationships too. Keep the issue between you and them, rather than creating unnecessary drama in your wider social circle.
4. Don’t take their silence personally right away.
Your mind immediately jumps to worst-case scenarios—they hate you, you’ve done something terrible, or they’re deliberately trying to hurt you. That internal spiral makes you feel awful about yourself and the relationship without any actual evidence.
People ignore people for loads of reasons that have nothing to do with you personally. They might be dealing with their own problems, feeling overwhelmed, or just not in the right headspace to communicate properly.
5. Focus on your own life and activities.
When someone’s ignoring you, it’s easy to put your whole life on hold while you wait for them to respond or reach out. You stop making plans, decline invitations, and basically freeze your existence around their silence.
The best thing you can do is carry on with your normal routine and commitments. Make plans with other friends, pursue your hobbies, and remind yourself that your life has value beyond this one relationship.
6. Set a mental deadline for how long you’ll wait.
Without some kind of boundary, you could end up waiting indefinitely for a response that might never come. Hanging around in a limbo state is emotionally exhausting and prevents you from moving forward or getting closure.
Decide how long feels reasonable to wait based on your relationship and the situation, then stick to that timeline. Whether it’s a week or a month, having an endpoint helps you regain some control.
7. Consider if this behaviour fits a pattern.
Think honestly about whether this person regularly goes quiet when things get difficult, or uses silence as a way to avoid uncomfortable conversations. Some people have learned that ignoring problems makes them go away.
If it’s not the first time they’ve done this, you might need to accept that it’s part of their communication style. You can decide whether you’re willing to deal with this pattern long-term.
8. Don’t make assumptions about their reasons.
Your imagination is probably running wild with theories about why they’re not responding, from dramatic personal crises to deliberate punishment for something you can’t even identify. These mental stories usually make you feel worse without providing any real answers.
Stick to what you actually know rather than filling in blanks with worst-case scenarios. The truth is often much simpler and less personal than what your anxious mind creates.
9. Reach out once more if it feels necessary.
If enough time has passed, and you genuinely need closure or clarification about something important, one final message can be worth sending. Keep it simple, honest, and free from blame or emotional manipulation.
Make this your last attempt rather than the start of another cycle. Say what you need to say clearly, then commit to accepting whatever response (or lack thereof) you receive.
10. Practise a bit of good old self-care while you’re feeling low.
Being ignored affects your self-esteem and emotional wellbeing more than you might realise. You might find yourself feeling anxious, sad, or angry without understanding why these emotions feel so intense.
Be extra gentle with yourself right now; get enough sleep, eat properly, and do things that make you feel good. This isn’t being dramatic; it’s acknowledging that emotional pain needs care too.
11. Talk to someone you trust about how you’re feeling.
Keeping all these confused feelings bottled up inside makes everything feel more intense and overwhelming. You need somewhere safe to process what’s happening without judgement or unsolicited advice about what you should do.
Choose someone who listens well and won’t immediately jump into problem-solving mode. Sometimes you just need to voice your feelings out loud to make sense of them yourself.
12. Accept that you might never get an explanation.
This is probably the hardest part because your brain desperately wants to understand what went wrong and why. Not knowing feels worse than almost any explanation they could give you.
Closure sometimes has to come from within rather than from the other person. You might need to create your own sense of ending without their input or participation in the process.
13. Decide what you’ll do if they eventually reach out.
At some point, they might resurface with an explanation, apology, or casual message acting like nothing happened. Having a plan for how you’ll respond helps you feel more in control of the situation.
Think about what you’d need to hear from them and whether you’re willing to just pick up where you left off. This preparation helps you respond thoughtfully rather than just reacting emotionally.
14. Learn to value people who communicate consistently.
This painful experience is teaching you something important about what you need in relationships: reliable, honest communication even when things get difficult. Not everyone has these skills, but some people definitely do.
Start paying more attention to how people handle conflict and difficult conversations in your life. The ones who stick around and talk things through are worth investing more time and emotional energy in.
