Self-respect is the foundation of a confident and fulfilling life, but it’s so easy to lose it without even realising it.
Maybe you let people take advantage of you, put your own needs last for too long, or stayed quiet when you should have spoken up. Either way, when self-respect fades, it can affect everything — your relationships, your self-worth, and even your ability to make decisions that are best for you. The good news is that self-respect can be rebuilt. It doesn’t happen overnight, but small changes can help you get it back. Here are some simple ways to start that journey.
1. Stop apologising for things that aren’t your fault.
Many people get into the habit of saying sorry for things that don’t actually require an apology — things like expressing an opinion, setting boundaries, or even just existing in their own space. The more you apologise unnecessarily, the more you start believing that your needs and feelings are an inconvenience.
Pay attention to how often you say sorry and whether it’s truly necessary. Instead of apologising for speaking your mind, try saying, “I appreciate you listening.” Small changes like this can help reinforce your right to take up space in the world without guilt.
2. Set clear boundaries and stick to them.
If you let people overstep your boundaries without consequences, you slowly teach yourself that your needs don’t matter. Whether it’s saying no to extra work, limiting time with toxic people, or refusing to be the one who always gives without receiving, boundaries are essential for maintaining self-respect.
It’s not about being aggressive or shutting people out; it’s about valuing yourself enough to protect your energy. Every time you uphold a boundary, you remind yourself that you deserve respect.
3. Stop chasing approval from people who don’t deserve it.
Trying to win over people who don’t appreciate you is exhausting, and often, no matter what you do, they’ll never give you the validation you’re looking for. The more you chase approval, the more power you give other people over how you see yourself. Instead of focusing on impressing people who don’t respect you, put your energy toward the people who already see your value. Your self-worth should never depend on someone else’s opinion.
4. Follow through on your promises — to yourself.
Breaking commitments to yourself, whether it’s skipping personal goals or ignoring things you said you’d do, sends a message that your own word doesn’t matter. If you wouldn’t repeatedly let a friend down, why do it to yourself?
Start treating your promises to yourself with the same importance you would a commitment to someone else. Whether it’s sticking to a workout, following through on career plans, or simply prioritising rest, honouring your own word helps rebuild trust in yourself.
5. Speak kindly to yourself.
The way you talk to yourself matters. If your inner voice is constantly critical, pointing out every mistake and tearing you down, it’s hard to feel worthy of respect. Negative self-talk can make even the most confident person feel small in the long run.
Challenge those harsh thoughts. Would you talk to a friend the way you talk to yourself? If not, it’s time to change the script. Replace self-criticism with self-encouragement, and treat yourself with the same kindness you give to other people.
6. Stop tolerating disrespect from other people.
Every time you allow someone to treat you poorly without standing up for yourself, a small piece of your self-respect fades. You might tell yourself it’s easier to let things go, but over time, these moments add up and can affect how you see yourself. It’s not about starting unnecessary conflict, but it is about making sure people know that you won’t tolerate being spoken to or treated in a way that diminishes you. Respect starts with how you let other people treat you.
7. Take responsibility for your actions.
It’s easy to blame circumstances or other people for why things go wrong, but real self-respect comes from owning your choices. Acknowledging mistakes, learning from them, and making adjustments is a sign of growth, not weakness. Holding yourself accountable builds confidence. It means you trust yourself enough to admit when you’re wrong and strong enough to take action to improve.
8. Prioritise your mental and physical health without feeling guilty about it.
Putting yourself last all the time doesn’t make you selfless; it just makes you exhausted. There’s nothing noble about burning yourself out while trying to please everyone else. Making your wellness a priority isn’t selfish, it’s necessary. Whether it’s setting aside time for relaxation, saying no to things that drain you, or taking care of your mental and physical health, treating yourself with care is a key part of regaining self-respect.
9. Surround yourself with people who respect you.
If you constantly spend time around people who dismiss, belittle, or take advantage of you, it’s hard to maintain a strong sense of self-respect. Who you surround yourself with matters. The people in your life should lift you up, not tear you down. If someone continuously disrespects you, it may be time to limit their influence over your life.
10. Stop comparing yourself to other people, once and for all.
Comparison is one of the fastest ways to destroy self-respect. The more you focus on what other people have, the less appreciation you have for what makes you unique. Social media makes this even worse, as it often highlights only the best parts of people’s lives.
Instead of comparing yourself to other people, compare yourself to who you were yesterday. Growth is personal, and self-respect comes from recognising your own journey instead of measuring yourself against someone else’s.
11. Acknowledge your strengths.
People with low self-respect often downplay their own abilities, brushing off compliments or refusing to recognise their own accomplishments. While humility is good, constantly ignoring your own strengths can leave you feeling unworthy. Start taking note of what you do well. Whether it’s small wins or big achievements, giving yourself credit helps rebuild confidence and respect for yourself.
12. Let go of past mistakes.
Source: Unsplash Holding onto guilt for things that happened years ago keeps you stuck in the past. Everyone makes mistakes, but constantly punishing yourself for them doesn’t change anything. Part of self-respect is accepting that mistakes are part of life. Learn from them, make amends if needed, and move forward. You deserve to grow beyond the person you were yesterday.
13. Take control of your happiness.
Source: Unsplash If you’re waiting for the perfect job, relationship, or achievement to bring you happiness, you’re giving your power away. Self-respect comes from recognising that your happiness is your responsibility. Instead of relying on external validation, find small ways to create joy in your everyday life. The more you take ownership of your happiness, the more in control you’ll feel.
14. Trust yourself again.
Source: Unsplash When self-respect is low, you might second-guess yourself constantly. You may struggle to trust your decisions, worrying about what other people will think or if you’re making the “right” choice. Regaining self-respect means rebuilding trust in yourself. You don’t have to get everything right, but you do have to believe in your own ability to handle life’s challenges.
