Good people are what make life worth living, don’t you think?
They provide companionship, support, and laughter, and they make waking up every day something you look forward to rather than dread. On the flip side, keeping toxic people in your life will only end up making you miserable and draining the energy and spirit out of you. Life’s too short for that, so here’s how to get rid of them ASAP.
1. Acknowledge the toxicity.
First up, face the ugly truth. If someone’s constantly negative, manipulative, or just plain mean, that’s toxic, period. Acknowledging this isn’t easy, but it’s crucial. You need to see the situation for what it is: harmful. This person might be a friend, family member, or colleague, but their title doesn’t excuse their toxic behaviour. Recognising this is step one in cutting them out.
2. Set firm boundaries and maintain them.
Lay down your laws and stick to them like glue. Boundaries aren’t just lines in the sand; they’re walls for your emotional well-being. Be clear and direct about what behaviour you won’t tolerate, and don’t waver. If they cross these boundaries, it’s non-negotiable, and they’re out. Remember, you’re enforcing these limits not to punish them, but to protect yourself.
3. Stop making excuses for them.
Drop the habit of justifying their behaviour. No more “They’re just having a bad day” or “They didn’t mean it.” These excuses keep you tied to a toxic cycle. Realise that a bad day doesn’t give anyone the right to treat you poorly. You’re not their therapist or their punching bag. It’s not your job to explain away their toxicity.
4. Don’t get pulled into drama.
Toxic people love drama; it’s their oxygen. They’ll try to suck you into their whirlpool of chaos, but don’t let them. Keep interactions short and drama-free. If they start with their usual antics, disengage. You’re not obliged to play a role in their soap opera. Remember, engaging with their drama only drains your energy and serves no positive purpose.
5. Limit your time with them.
Minimise your time with them as much as possible. If you have to be around them, keep it short. Don’t feel obligated to spend more time with them than absolutely necessary. You’re not being rude; you’re being smart. Protecting your peace sometimes means limiting exposure to those who disturb it.
6. Avoid personal conversations.
Keep it light and impersonal. Sharing personal details or feelings with a toxic person is like giving them ammo to use against you. Stick to surface-level topics. If they probe, deflect and keep boundaries. Your personal life is not their playground.
7. Learn to say “no,” and don’t feel guilty about it.
“No” is a powerful weapon in your arsenal. Use it. You don’t owe them your time, energy, or explanations. If they ask for something that makes you uncomfortable or infringes on your time, just say no. You’re not being selfish; you’re being self-respecting.
8. Don’t feel guilty about cutting them off.
Cutting off toxic people can feel brutal, but it’s not cruel. Really, it’s necessary. Don’t let guilt creep in. You’re not doing something wrong; you’re doing something essential for your wellbeing. They might try to make you feel bad about your decision, but remember, your first responsibility is to yourself.
9. Block them on social media.
Social media can be a breeding ground for toxicity. Don’t hesitate to block or unfriend them. You don’t need daily reminders of their existence or updates on their life. It’s not petty; it’s about maintaining your mental health. Keep your digital space as healthy as your physical one.
10. Stay firm in your decision.
Once you decide to cut them off, it’s important to stand firm. They might try to get back into your life with apologies or promises to change, but remember why you made your decision. Stick to it for your sanity’s sake. It’s not about being stubborn; it’s about being strong.
11. Look for support.
Lean on friends, family, or a therapist. Cutting someone off, especially if they’ve been a big part of your life, isn’t easy. You’ll need support. Share your feelings and get reassurance. Sometimes, just talking about it can reinforce your decision and make the process less daunting.
12. Don’t engage in arguments.
Arguing with a toxic person is like wrestling with a pig: you both get dirty, but the pig likes it. They might try to provoke you, but don’t take the bait. Keep your cool and walk away. Engaging only gives them what they want, and that’s your attention and emotional response.
13. Focus on positive relationships.
Pour your energy into healthy relationships. Spend time with people who uplift you, make you feel good about yourself, and offer reciprocal support. Cultivating positive relationships is crucial; it’s not just about removing the negative, but also about enhancing the positive.
14. Reflect on what you’ve learned.
Every relationship, even toxic ones, teach you something. Reflect on what being with this person has taught you. What red flags will you be more aware of in the future? How has this experience shaped your understanding of healthy.
15. Move on.
Once they’re out of your life, focus on moving forward. Don’t dwell on the past or the ‘what ifs.’ Look ahead. Embrace new experiences, nurture new or existing relationships, and focus on building a life that feels good for you. The past is a place of reference, not a place of residence.
