If you find yourself constantly getting entangled with each other, there’s a reason for that magnetic pull. It’s not just coincidence or bad luck — there are some surprisingly common factors that draw you together like moths to a flame. Here are just a few of the reasons why empaths and narcissists can’t seem to stay away from each other, even when they know better.
1. Empaths are natural caretakers.
Source: Unsplash
Empaths have a strong desire to help and heal people. They’re drawn to people who are struggling or in pain, hoping to fix them with their love and support. Narcissists, with their wounded egos and constant need for attention, are like catnip to empaths. The empath sees the narcissist’s brokenness and wants to be the one to make it all better. It’s a classic savior complex that keeps them coming back for more, as Psychology Today explains.
2. Narcissists are master manipulators.
Source: Unsplash
Narcissists are skilled at reading people and figuring out what makes them tick. They can sense an empath’s desire to be needed and use it to their advantage. They’ll lay on the charm, shower the empath with attention and affection, and make them feel like the most special person in the world. The empath, starved for genuine connection, eats it up and gets hooked on the love bombing. Before they know it, they’re trapped in the narcissist’s web.
3. Empaths have a high tolerance for toxic behavior.
Source: Unsplash
Empaths are naturally forgiving and understanding. They’re quick to make excuses for bad behavior, chalking it up to someone’s past traumas or current struggles. This high tolerance for toxicity makes them prime targets for narcissists. The narcissist can push boundaries, gaslight, and manipulate, knowing the empath will likely forgive and forget. It’s a dangerous cycle that keeps the empath stuck in an unhealthy situation.
4. Narcissists feed off the empath’s energy.
Source: Unsplash
As WebMD points out (and most empaths know well), narcissists are emotional vampires. They need a constant supply of attention and admiration to feel good about themselves. Empaths, with their big hearts and endless capacity for love, are like an all-you-can-eat buffet for narcissists. The narcissist will drain the empath dry, taking their time, energy, and resources without giving much in return. The empath, always willing to give, keeps serving themselves up on a silver platter.
5. Empaths want to see the best in people.
Source: Unsplash
Empaths believe that everyone has good in them, even if it’s buried deep down. They’re drawn to people who are misunderstood or struggling, hoping to bring out their best selves. Narcissists, with their charming facades and tales of woe, can easily convince an empath that they’re just misunderstood souls in need of love. The empath wants so badly to believe in the narcissist’s potential that they overlook glaring red flags.
6. Narcissists are drawn to the empath’s light.
Source: Unsplash
Empaths have a special kind of magic about them. They radiate warmth, compassion, and positivity that draws people to them like moths to a flame. Narcissists, often deeply insecure and self-loathing, are attracted to that light. They want to bask in the empath’s glow and feel some of that goodness rub off on them. It’s a way for the narcissist to feel better about themselves without doing any real work.
7. Empaths struggle with boundaries.
Source: Unsplash
Empaths often have a hard time setting and sticking to boundaries. They want to be there for everyone, even at their own expense. Narcissists, always on the lookout for weaknesses to exploit, zero in on this lack of boundaries like a heat-seeking missile. They’ll push and prod, testing the limits of what the empath will tolerate. The empath, not wanting to rock the boat, often lets them get away with more than they should.
8. Narcissists are chameleons.
Source: Unsplash
Narcissists are masters of disguise. They can mold themselves into whatever they think the empath wants or needs. They’ll mirror the empath’s interests, values, and dreams, creating a false sense of compatibility. The empath, thrilled to have found someone who “gets” them, falls hard and fast. It’s only later, when the mask starts to slip, that they realize they’ve been conned.
9. Empaths are natural peacemakers.
Source: Unsplash
Empaths hate conflict and will go to great lengths to avoid it. They’re always looking for ways to smooth things over and keep everyone happy. Narcissists, on the other hand, thrive on drama and chaos. They’ll pick fights, stir up trouble, and then play the victim to get the empath to come to their rescue. The empath, desperate to restore harmony, often ends up enabling the narcissist’s bad behavior.
10. Narcissists are drawn to the empath’s vulnerability.
Source: Unsplash
Empaths wear their hearts on their sleeves. They’re not afraid to show their emotions and be vulnerable with people. Narcissists, always on the prowl for weaknesses to exploit, see this openness as an invitation. They’ll use the empath’s vulnerability against them, sharing their deepest secrets and fears only to throw them back in their face later. The empath, trusting to a fault, often doesn’t see it coming until it’s too late.
11. Empaths want to fix broken people.
Source: Unsplash
Empaths are drawn to broken people like moths to a flame. They see someone who’s struggling and want to swoop in and make it all better. Narcissists, with their tales of childhood trauma and wounded egos, fit the bill perfectly. The empath thinks that with enough love and support, they can heal the narcissist’s wounds and turn them into a better person. It’s a noble goal, but one that’s doomed to fail.
12. Narcissists are good at playing the victim.
Source: Unsplash
Narcissists are masters at shifting blame and avoiding responsibility. When things go wrong, they’re quick to point the finger at anyone but themselves. They’ll spin tales of how they’ve been mistreated, misunderstood, and victimized by the world. Empaths, with their natural compassion and desire to help, often fall for this act. They’ll rush to the narcissist’s defense, not realizing they’re being manipulated.
13. Empaths have a hard time with confrontation.
Source: Unsplash
Empaths avoid confrontation like the plague. They’d rather smooth things over and keep the peace than rock the boat. Narcissists, always testing boundaries, will push and push until they get what they want. The empath, not wanting to upset the narcissist or cause a scene, often gives in. This lack of pushback only reinforces the narcissist’s belief that they can do whatever they want without consequence.
14. Narcissists are drawn to the empath’s empathy.
Source: Unsplash
Narcissists are emotional black holes. They’re incapable of true empathy or compassion for other people. Empaths, on the other hand, are overflowing with it. The narcissist is drawn to the empath’s ability to feel deeply and connect with people. They want to experience that empathy for themselves, even if they’re not capable of returning it. It’s a one-way street that leaves the empath drained and the narcissist unchanged.
