Some children love nothing more than to freak themselves out.
Your kid begs to watch horror films, they want to go on the scariest rides, and they won’t stop asking you to chase them around the house pretending to be a monster. You’re sat there thinking, “Hang on, is this normal? Should I be worried? Am I messing them up by letting them watch scary stuff?”
Turns out, it’s completely fine. Actually, it’s better than fine. A new study found that 93% of kids actively love being scared in a fun way, and it’s actually good for them. So you can stop feeling guilty about letting them watch Goosebumps or whatever they’re into.
Even tiny kids love it.
Researchers asked 1,600 parents about their kids’ scary activities, from age one all the way up to seventeen. What they found was that even really little kids are into this stuff. Obviously, a toddler’s version of scary is different from a teenager’s, but the love of it starts early.
For babies and toddlers, it’s all about physical stuff. Being swung around, going down a big slide, being chased and caught. That’s their version of a thrill. Watch a two-year-old on a swing going higher than they’re comfortable with. They’re screaming and laughing at the same time, and the second it stops they’re yelling “again!” That’s recreational fear right there.
Then they start pretending.
Once kids get a bit older, around preschool age, they’re massively into pretend scary play. Playing monsters, acting out stories with villains, games where someone’s the scary thing chasing everyone else. It’s how they figure out what fear feels like when they’re in control of it.
The brilliant thing about pretend play is they can make it as scary or as silly as they want. They can be the monster themselves and discover that being frightening is just as fun as being scared. It’s all imagination, so there’s no real danger, but the feelings are real enough that they’re learning something.
Rollercoasters and stuff never get old.
Here’s something interesting: activities with speed, heights, and drops stay popular at every single age. Swings, slides, rollercoasters, climbing things, anything that gives you that stomach-flip feeling. Kids never stop loving that, they just graduate to bigger and faster versions as they get older.
Your body genuinely thinks you’re in danger when you’re falling or going fast, even though your brain knows you’re safe. That mix of “this is terrifying” and “this is fine” creates this weird buzz that kids are absolutely obsessed with. A seventeen-year-old at a theme park is heading straight for the most intense ride they can find, same as they would’ve done at seven, just with bigger equipment.
Eventually, it’s all about films and games.
As kids hit about ten or eleven, they start getting really into scary media. Horror films, creepy TV shows, terrifying video games, dodgy stuff on social media. They’re not giving up the physical scary stuff, they’re just adding this on top because now they’ve got more ways to get that fear buzz.
This lines up with them getting better at understanding what’s real and what’s not. A three-year-old might have nightmares for weeks after seeing something mildly scary because they don’t fully get that it’s not real. However, older kids know it’s just a film or a game, so they can handle scarier content because they understand none of it’s actually happening. They can switch it off.
They do it with other people.
Little kids do scary stuff with their parents or siblings. The parent pushing the swing too high, the older sibling chasing them, watching a slightly spooky film as a family. Having trusted people around makes the scary stuff feel safe enough to enjoy because if it gets too much, there’s someone there to make it stop.
When they get to teenage years, it switches to mates. Going to horror films together, playing scary games, going to haunted houses, sharing creepy videos. Being scared together creates this bond, gives them stuff to talk about. And even when they’re watching something scary alone, they’re usually telling their friends about it afterwards. It’s still a social thing.
It teaches them useful stuff.
The reason this matters is because when kids choose to do something that scares them in a safe way, they’re practicing how to handle fear. They’re learning what fear feels like, that they can deal with uncomfortable feelings, and that being scared doesn’t last forever. It’s basically emotional training.
Think about a kid going on a ride that properly scares them. Their heart’s racing, their stomach drops, they might scream. But then it ends, they get off, and they’re fine. They’ve just learned they can survive feeling terrified. They can handle more than they thought. That’s a massive lesson, and it comes from choosing to be scared in a situation where nothing bad actually happens to them.
It makes relationships stronger.
When you go through something intense with someone else, even if it’s just pretend scary, it brings you closer. Parents who do scary play with their little kids are building trust. The kid learns their parent will keep them safe even when things feel dangerous. That’s huge for a small child.
For older kids and teenagers, doing scary stuff with mates works differently, but it’s still important. It creates memories, inside jokes, stories to tell. It shows who’s brave, who needs support, who’s going to hide behind a cushion during the scary bits. You learn about people when you’re scared together, and it makes friendships stronger.
Not all kids are the same.
Just because 93% of kids enjoy some kind of scary fun doesn’t mean every kid’s into it the same amount. Some kids have a massive tolerance for fear and want the most intense experiences they can find. Other kids prefer gentler stuff, like a slightly spooky story, and wouldn’t touch a horror film with a barge pole.
Both are completely normal. Some people are just wired to seek out more thrills than others, and you can see that from when they’re tiny. The important bit is that kids get to choose their own level, they’re not being forced into stuff that overwhelms them, and there are people around to help if it gets too much.
What if they get nightmares?
This is what makes parents panic, right? Your kid watches something scary and then can’t sleep, or gets anxious about stuff they’ve seen. But occasional nightmares aren’t the same as actual psychological damage. If a kid chose to watch it and can stop whenever they want, the odd nightmare is just them figuring out their limits.
The difference is between fun scary, which they picked and can turn off, and actual trauma, which is overwhelming, and they can’t control. One teaches them how to cope, the other messes them up. If your kid’s having nightmares every night or getting properly anxious, then yeah, pull back on the scary stuff. But if they’re occasionally a bit freaked out and then fine the next day, that’s normal. That’s them learning.
Should you actively encourage this?
You don’t need to push kids into scary stuff, they’ll find it themselves if they want it. But you also don’t need to feel guilty about letting them do it. When your kid asks to watch something scary or go on a ride that frightens them, that’s not a weird impulse you should shut down, it’s a totally normal part of growing up.
The only thing that matters is making sure they stay in control. They can stop the film if it’s too much, they can say no to the ride, they can end the game when they’ve had enough. As long as they’ve got that control, and you’re around if they need you, let them explore it. It’s teaching them stuff they’ll need later.
In other words, stop worrying so much!
Watching your kid actively seek out stuff that scares them feels wrong. You want to protect them, keep them comfortable, make sure nothing upsets them. But kids actually need opportunities to experience manageable fear. It’s how they learn to be brave.
93% of kids do this. It’s not weird, it’s not worrying, it’s just what childhood looks like. Whether it’s a toddler on a swing, a seven-year-old playing hide and seek, or a teenager watching horror films with mates, they’re all doing the same thing. They’re using fear to learn about themselves. So when your kid begs for the scary film or wants you to chase them around being a monster, just do it. You’re not damaging them, you’re helping them figure out they’re braver than they think.
